U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Psychology
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Old 05-14-2013, 11:55 PM
Location: Tucson/Nogales
16,490 posts, read 20,028,338 times
Reputation: 22430


What do you think is behind these people, especially those with elephantine memories, who catch you changing your mind on something and making you feel like a criminal afterwards, or feeling deeply embarrassed?

As the saying goes: only a fool never changes his mind!

How many times have you heard it: I remember you saying X number of months, years ago...........you would never do this or that! And then you get that puzzling look!

And there you go, trying to defend yourself!

I've been guilty of it myself, and worse yet, I have one of those elephantine memories, and I've taken it to cruel levels as well!

My brother-in-law told me 3 decades ago: When I retire, no more Minnesota winters!

Now retired for 10 years, he never stops complaining of those cold, cruel winters and he has the resources to retire anywhere.

And there I go: I distinctly recall hearing you 3 decades ago, telling me...............................
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

Old 05-15-2013, 03:28 AM
Location: State of Being
35,885 posts, read 65,297,484 times
Reputation: 22274
People who make a big deal about folks changing their opinion are asses.

We all grow and change.

Why would anyone care what someone said 30 years ago, except as something interesting that shows how experience and time can change a person's opinions?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 05-15-2013, 04:56 AM
Location: Tucson/Nogales
16,490 posts, read 20,028,338 times
Reputation: 22430
I've been telling friends/relatives, for years now, I'm planning on retiring in Tucson one day. But on a recent trip to Sacramento, I'm now reconsidering. I posted that on Facebook.

"Gettin' a little indecisive in your old age? I thought Tucson was set in stone! Make up your mind!"
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 05-15-2013, 09:10 AM
4,762 posts, read 10,247,458 times
Reputation: 7798
It depends on the situation of course. But between me and my male friends, it is all in fun - kidding, teasing, etc.

However it could be quite serious, if it is something you tell a kid or person in a relationship, "we are going to do", then not do whatever it is. Or promise you will never do something [bad] again, then do it.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 05-15-2013, 11:00 AM
9,209 posts, read 18,064,221 times
Reputation: 21953
I think it's normal for all of us to change our minds, especially about things we had planned to do, as we learn, grow, and gather more information.

I do, however, have a problem with people changing their mind about their opinions on very important issues. Unless they can clearly describe the turning point when their opinion changed, I have trouble believing they will stay faithful to any other important opinions they say they hold. If they can't describe the turning point, then they just sound fickle, like they can just change their opinion on a whim, or according to the latest blog they've read.

This is why a lot of us have a problem with politicians who "flip flop" on important issues. Unless they experienced a real life-altering turning point, they just look untrustworthy, and that they can just switch their opinion when they watch which way the wind is blowing.

With people in my life, I usually don't take this as seriously as I'm describing unless THEY take an issue very seriously, and they're very vocal about it. At those time I WILL point out how they are being inconsistent from the opinions they previously espoused and ask them how their opinion on something they have such passion about could change so drastically. When they can describe their turning point, I can respect them, perhaps even more than I did previously. When they cannot, I lose respect for them. I'm talking about important issues, not "I used to not like red wine and now I do."
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 05-15-2013, 12:58 PM
Location: NYC
2,724 posts, read 2,867,599 times
Reputation: 4685
"I'd never hurt anyone in a fit of anger," you used to say. Years later you stab someone because he made fun of your hat. Yeah, now you're considered a criminal.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 05-15-2013, 01:28 PM
Location: Fort Washington, MD
671 posts, read 1,253,275 times
Reputation: 613
"I'm going to be a bully and mess with EVERYONE because I am generally regarded as the most popular person in my social group."

20 years later...

"Hey, I changed! And it's not because I have a minimum wage job, look terrible, and have no general aim in life! I know I bullied you to near suicide back in the day, but... be my friend!"

Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 05-15-2013, 03:09 PM
Location: Hopewell Va.
257 posts, read 247,514 times
Reputation: 151
Every bodies quick to see,and point out in others,what they least expect is in themselves as well.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.

Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Psychology
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2018, Advameg, Inc.

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top