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Old 06-01-2013, 07:47 PM
 
265 posts, read 316,634 times
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I'm pretty sue you can both love and hate anything whether it's an object, person, or idea. Neither emotion needs to be mutually exclusive given they're both so volatile and can start and stop quick.
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Old 06-01-2013, 07:49 PM
 
Location: Mid-Atlantic
21,495 posts, read 20,534,231 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by brokencrayola View Post
If she is clinically insane the next time she goes nuts or attacks you then you need to call the police and get her on a 48 or 72 hr. hold where she can be evaluated. Are you renting or do you both own a home together? Is there a way that she would leave the home and you remain with the children?
I think that some sort of intervention like this has to happen.

Lucario, start building a case for custody.
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Old 06-01-2013, 08:08 PM
 
12,417 posts, read 11,696,227 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gerania View Post
I think that some sort of intervention like this has to happen.

Lucario, start building a case for custody.
yeah. Dude, if there are "cop-worthy" episodes, you NEED to get the police involved.

You need to protect your children, but the status quo isn't going to work. You're exposing them to a lunatic - and they think this is normal. Moreover, if she has the potential to be violent towards you, she has the potential to be violent towards your children. She's got a personality disorder - that much is clear. What does your therapist/counselor tell you you need to do? Have you contacted any domestic violence organizations? Call some.

Look into the rules in your area about recording conversations. If they're relatively loose, get a digital recorder and start taping her when she's on one of her tears. You need proof.

You're posts here indicate that you've shut down entirely - you're acting like every other abuse victim who can't see a way out. I'm not surprised the lawyers haven't been optimistic. Yeah, the chips are stacked against you if you're a guy in some states, but if you have a documented history, you will be in a good spot. Keep a log.

It sounds like your hand is going to be forced soon anyway. It doesn't matter if you won't "consent" to divorce. She's going to file - and if you fight her, she's going to make up a lot of nasty stuff about you. You MUST pre-empt her, because you can't allow her to have the upper hand if you're going to keep your kids safe.
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Old 06-01-2013, 10:00 PM
 
Location: Whereever we have our RV parked
7,800 posts, read 6,726,292 times
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I've read much of this thread. The answer is pretty simple. I'd suggest you stay in the marriage for the sake of the kids. I will take your word for it that the wife has become pure evil. The reality is that you would almost certainly lose a custody battle and you will see them on a very limited basis. Because she is this mean and selfish, she might very will fight every time it is your turn with the kids. As hard as it may be, I'd suggest you stay, so that at least the children have one stable, sensible parent. Otherwise you leave them with a crazy person as their main parent. That's not an easy answer, but this thread is the kind of example that many men are using today to say, "no to marriage, no to children, its a ticket to hell."
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Old 06-02-2013, 01:11 AM
 
16,487 posts, read 19,844,726 times
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I think there are ways to get the courts to give you physical custody of the children, but it will require you getting intervention with your wife and getting medical evidence that she is mentally unstable. I don't think it will do anyone any good to stay in this marriage any longer than you have to. This craziness has to be doing a number to your poor kids and they need a quiet stable home as soon as possible.
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Old 06-05-2013, 01:26 PM
 
2,577 posts, read 1,380,167 times
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To OP| how are you contributing to the bad situation? Do the children love their mother and seem happy with her?
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Old 06-05-2013, 03:45 PM
 
Location: Center of the universe
24,757 posts, read 32,223,504 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cb2008 View Post
To OP| how are you contributing to the bad situation?
I can't answer that because I don't know. I respond to her insults and have to protect myself when she gets violent. But I can't answer your question because I don't know.

Quote:

Do the children love their mother and seem happy with her?

They love her as any child loves their mother. They seem happy with her when she's not in one of her rages or rants or violent episodes.
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Old 06-05-2013, 04:15 PM
 
12,417 posts, read 11,696,227 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lucario View Post
I can't answer that because I don't know. I respond to her insults and have to protect myself when she gets violent. But I can't answer your question because I don't know.




They love her as any child loves their mother. They seem happy with her when she's not in one of her rages or rants or violent episodes.
How old are your kids (sorry if you've posted this already)?

And have they actually witnessed violent episodes?
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Old 06-05-2013, 05:10 PM
 
2,577 posts, read 1,380,167 times
Reputation: 2790
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lucario View Post
I can't answer that because I don't know. I respond to her insults and have to protect myself when she gets violent. But I can't answer your question because I don't know.




They love her as any child loves their mother. They seem happy with her when she's not in one of her rages or rants or violent episodes.
Are you just venting or are you looking for solution to your situation? If it is a low intensity war as you describe, it takes two to war. Even passive aggression is extreme provocation. One needs to be actively engaged to find solution. If you want to keep your children's safety and health a priority, and not resort to divorce, then you need to change your behavior and determine to resolve your conflict through negotiation. If you are in an abusive situation, then report it.
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Old 06-05-2013, 08:10 PM
 
Location: Center of the universe
24,757 posts, read 32,223,504 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JrzDefector View Post
How old are your kids (sorry if you've posted this already)?

And have they actually witnessed violent episodes?

They are 12 and 15 and yes, they have witnessed violent episodes. Just about a month ago, she woke me up at 3 a.m. (something she does a lot of) to start an argument. When I went to the bathroom, I came back and found her trying to take my bed and throw it out into the street. Of course I had to stop her.

She has also had these uncontrollable rages where she has destroyed entire rooms, thrown things at me or just around, and physically pushed me.
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