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Hi Saussie. Yes, I know how she feels. She doesn't want to stay together. She didn't want to go to counseling, we went once and she refused to go anymore. She is a rigid, unbending, very cynical person. I do believe hate is the right word because of some things she's said and done.
You didn't say you STILL loved her, just attacted to her. The hate part is more important & overwhelming here. Done and done.
I can never stand "cynical" people. How is anyone going to like you if you constantly say/think negative things? I think that's one of the worst traits anyone can have.
Yeah.....I really sometimes wish I could just die quickly and quietly.....
If you're going to stay in the home so that you can have daily contact and a relationship with your children, crawling into a hole and dying isn't the thing to do. Either try to steel yourself to the antagonism and be the best dad that you're capable of being or go and rent a room and see the kids on visitation day.
To answer your question, yes, I think that it's possible to feel as though you simultaneously love and hate someone.
OP, maybe you love her as the mother of your children and for all the things you have been through and how long you have known each other. That does not necessarily mean you are IN love with her. It sounds like you have not had a good marriage for a long time. Are you considering whether you should leave her or not?
If you're going to stay in the home so that you can have daily contact and a relationship with your children, crawling into a hole and dying isn't the thing to do. Either try to steel yourself to the antagonism and be the best dad that you're capable of being or go and rent a room and see the kids on visitation day.
To answer your question, yes, I think that it's possible to feel as though you simultaneously love and hate someone.
That "visitation" is a nonstarter. I will not accept being a weekend visitor to my own children. I have always been the best father anyone could be.
That "visitation" is a nonstarter. I will not accept being a weekend visitor to my own children. I have always been the best father anyone could be.
You don't say how old your children are.
I grew up in a household where my parents didn't like or love each other. Even as a young child, my most frequent prayer was that they would get divorced. Well, they didn't. And I left home at 18 and never looked back. And I wound up not liking or loving either one of them. It's 46 years later, and I still don't.
And please don't tell me your kids don't know what is going on. If they're over 5 years of age, they do.
I mean the kids don't have to know.
It's not like you and your wife can't control how you act.
You're right. She can't control how she acts. She starts fights constantly, whether the kids are there or not. Restraint, grace, anger management? Nonexistent in this woman.
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