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Old 06-03-2013, 11:12 AM
 
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Why do people, particularly females, who start having kids at around eighteen years of age, and generally three to four kids, sometimes act and talk like they're old as early as their late 30s?

I've seen women who have multiple kids, the first being born around eighteen or nineteen years of age, say things like, "I'm so old", etc., when they clearly look somewhat youthful and are only around 37 years old, on up into their mid 40s.

On the other hand, couples who didn't have children until their 30s, and generally only one or two, generally don't have a mental awareness of themselves as being old, but instead sometimes feel younger than people their own age.

Has anyone ever noticed people such as has been indicated here.
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Old 06-03-2013, 11:44 AM
 
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I think for the same reason presidents quickly get grey hair after being elected! (Stress!)

When I was a kid, I could always tell a mom who had a bunch of kids from a mom who only had a couple of kids. The moms with a bunch of kids (like 6 or 8) could YELL the loudest. If they were calling their kids to come home, you could hear them several blocks away!
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Old 06-03-2013, 11:50 AM
 
Location: State of Transition
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I don't know anyone who fits that description. But my guess would be that the sleeplessness that accompanies dealing with babies can really cause someone to get run down, along with handling a handful of rambunctious toddlers and little kids as they grow out of babyhood. How are the fathers bearing up?
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Old 06-03-2013, 01:43 PM
 
Location: Howard County, MD
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Kids definitely age you. And I think they make people more conservative too.
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Old 06-03-2013, 02:33 PM
 
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I'm not a parent, so this is just from my observation.

I think it has to do with the idea that having young kids makes a person feel young. You have to have high energy, to chase them around, take them to 40 millions practices, classes, and appointments. You can't just kick back and relax on a weekend, but instead have to DO a whole lot of stuff and GO places. Plus, having younger kids and pre-teens gets you familiar with pop culture. You learn what the cool TV shows, music groups, video games, etc, are for youngsters. You actually know about and have opinions about Nickelodeon shows, Justin Beiber, nail polish sparkles, etc.

If you have older kids, in their late teens or 20s, you get the idea "Wow, I'm a parent to an adult or a near-adult! I must be old!"


I know people in my age group (40-ish) who have infants and grade-schoolers, those who have kids who are graduating high school or are in college, and even (gasp) adult kids who have their own babies. I'm sure f I really examined it, I would guess that the 40-somethings with infants and young children, even "tweens," feel younger than those who are grandparents at age 40-something.

I'm 43, and I don't feel at all like I'm old enough to be a grandmother; I feel MUCH younger. But in reality I am old enough to be a grandmother! That's a little shocking for me to think about, and I'm sure my same-age friends who are still raising toddlers would feel the same.
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Old 06-03-2013, 03:57 PM
 
Location: Whittier
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I'm 31 with no kids (yet!) and like the way I've matured so far.

I couldn't imagine having a 13 year old at this point in my life.

---

If I was 40 and had a 20 year old child it would be even more strange IMO. They would be in college and presumably out of the house. So I can see how that might make someone feel old.

I work with teens everyday, and really I don't know if that makes me old or young. I know that when my wife and I have children, they will be our sole focus and will probably make us look like fools most of the time, lol.
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Old 06-03-2013, 05:41 PM
 
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
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I think it's because raising kids really matures you, and as has been said, can be a stressor (although having a stressful career/love life certainly can do the same without kids) and the idea of being a parent to a teenager makes one feel pretty old. Heck, you wouldn't be far off from being a grandmother!
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Old 06-03-2013, 10:33 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Trimac20 View Post
I think it's because raising kids really matures you, and as has been said, can be a stressor (although having a stressful career/love life certainly can do the same without kids) and the idea of being a parent to a teenager makes one feel pretty old. Heck, you wouldn't be far off from being a grandmother!

The reality is they are not old. When they're only in their late 30s, they still have a youthful appearance like all 30-somethings do. You can't start acting like some of them are acting until you're at least in your mid 50s, and in many cases older than that. Seriously, late thirties is young.

Regardless of whether they have kids in their late teens, do they not realize that they themselves were KIDS when they had kids, and while they were raising KIDS during times when most people are trying to make a better life for themselves, they were taking up behaviors that are generally reserved for people anywhere 5-20 years older than themselves? It doesn't make them old, it simply makes them engaging in behaviors before most people do.

I sometimes wonder if these people say they are "old" in order to make themselves feel more mature people than their own age, in order to feel some compensation for the time missed to enjoy the single life when they were young.

How can one claim themselves "old", standing beside someone who is the same age as themselves, who thinks otherwise?
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Old 06-03-2013, 10:39 PM
 
Location: Wonderland
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I don't know, and haven't ever known, any woman who fit the description of the OP.

I am 51. I had four kids by the time I was 27. I planned three and the fourth was an oopsie. Anyway, my oldest daughter had a very "out of character" relationship when she was 19, and had a baby as a single mom. That made me a grandmother at age 40.

It's been FANTASTIC! I am now 51, as I said, and both my daughters have married and have had children, so I am now the proud grandmother of seven "perfect" kids. My boys haven't started their families yet but when they do, there's no telling how many grandkids I may end up with.

But, let's see - last year my husband and I went ziplining in the Smoky Mountains. We went parasailing the year before at South Padre Island in Texas and the year before that we went hiking in Germany. Tomorrow, we leave for England. We both love to travel and we both have our health, energy, and the money to do it, so there you have it! Not to be a brat about it, but if we still had teens in the house, there's no way we could be doing all this.

Oh, and this past weekend, I took four of the grandkids to Splash Kingdom and rode all the rides with them. We had a blast! I love being a really active, fun influence in their lives.

I never felt that my kids and grandkids aged me - I feel that they have kept me young.
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Old 06-04-2013, 01:21 AM
 
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Having children is wonderful but it can also be stressful and tiring. Being a mother requires that you be selfless and much more responsible than someone that is single and has no children. By the time you are in your 30's you don't feel like going out and acting like a 20 year old anymore. It was age you to a certain degree, but that does not have to be a negative. Your priorities are different is all.
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