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Old 08-26-2013, 08:47 PM
 
Location: New York
757 posts, read 1,104,245 times
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This question is directed to those who are above the age of 40.
I've always been curious about what goes through the mind of an older person. Do you feel more limited at your age, do you enjoy yourselves less? Do you consistently think about all the opportunities you ruined in your younger years? Is your thought process the same as it was when you were in your 20s or 30s? Do you still feel like there's plenty of time left to accomplish more goals in your life? I just look at some older people (In their 60s and older) and some of them look so frail. I wonder to myself, does this person still enjoy their life, or do they dread waking up everyday?

I just want a heads up, to see what I should be expecting when I hit my 40s and beyond. I'm sorry if this question might sound a bit ignorant. If I offended anyone, I apologize.
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Old 08-26-2013, 08:50 PM
 
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The one thing you will definitely say to yourself is "gosh, if i knew then what i know now..."
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Old 08-27-2013, 07:46 AM
 
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There are no goals other than those that can be done in the next few hours. There are no regrets as it is what it is. Medical issues set the tone of the day or week. Things that were insanely critical in past years are perhaps not even given consideration, a sign of wisdom over time perhaps. An acute awareness of body issues and an appreciation of age appropriate or body appropriate activities. Oldness is different somewhat for each person based on financial and medical parameters.
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Old 08-27-2013, 07:50 AM
 
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"Old" is over 40yrs? oh boy...

I don't think there can be one general consensus. It all depends on how you've lived your life up until this point. Have you accomplished what you wanted to by now? Did you capitalize on opportunities presented to you? The answer is going to be different for everyone.
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Old 08-27-2013, 07:54 AM
 
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Slower on the basketball court. I'm 52 and now those 20 and 30 something dudes I play with are getting by me a lot more often.

Once you hit 50 you transition from the Old Age of Youth to the Youth of Old Age.
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Old 08-27-2013, 08:09 AM
 
Location: Verde Valley AZ
8,775 posts, read 11,917,399 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jonathanp219 View Post
This question is directed to those who are above the age of 40.
I've always been curious about what goes through the mind of an older person. Do you feel more limited at your age, do you enjoy yourselves less? Do you consistently think about all the opportunities you ruined in your younger years? Is your thought process the same as it was when you were in your 20s or 30s? Do you still feel like there's plenty of time left to accomplish more goals in your life? I just look at some older people (In their 60s and older) and some of them look so frail. I wonder to myself, does this person still enjoy their life, or do they dread waking up everyday?

I just want a heads up, to see what I should be expecting when I hit my 40s and beyond. I'm sorry if this question might sound a bit ignorant. If I offended anyone, I apologize.
Well, let's see...I am 70 and soon to be 71 so maybe I can answer these questions.

I don't feel more limited at my age and I enjoy myself just as much as I always have. I am still working part time and expect to be for years to come...unfortunately. I would love to be a able to retire but it's not in the cards for me. Luckily I have great health, high energy and still loving life. I certainly don't "dread waking up every day"!

When I was about 40 I started not caring "what other people think"...of me, what I did, what my opinions were and I learned what is and isn't 'important' enough to worry about. I'm not sure I even set goals anymore except that I'd like to travel more and see more things. I am pretty happy with who/where/what I am and am way done with any 'analyzing' anything in my life. Sure I have a few regrets but nothing to dwell on, be sorry for or worry about. It is what it is!

I also know people my age, and even younger, who are in way worse physical shape than me. I see women in their late 50s/early 60s already becoming bent over and slow. I know women who take a handful of meds every day to keep functioning and count myself sooooo lucky that I don't have to.

I don't think of the 40s as being the gateway to old age. People in their 40s should be in their prime and, hopefully, will have another 40 years to live and enjoy their lives. My kids are now 49, 50 and 54 so maybe I should ask them how it feels to 'get old' since I don't know yet! lol
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Old 08-27-2013, 08:15 AM
 
Location: Toronto, ON
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I just watched a 66 year-old Iggy Pop blow the crowd away at Riot Fest, so I'm not even sure what "old" means anymore.

I'm in my early 40's and honestly feel like these are truly the "prime" years. I don't feel old, but I also do my best to eat right and exercise and stay active, both mentally and physically. You start to appreciate good health more and really start to look towards the future as far as long-term planning and finances go.

You understand that you really didn't know ANYTHING when you were younger. By the time you are in your 40's, you have seen and experienced a lot of things. You can spot the patterns, see through the smokescreens, and better filter out the BS. You see the world through a more enlightened and seasoned lens.

Sure, the energy isn't there like it used to be, and sometimes my feet hurt after walking or standing for a few hours. But everything is still in fine working condition; I take no medications, have never experienced ED, and have no chronic health issues. I'm hoping my 50s/60s/70s will be more of the same.

And yes, if I only knew then what I know now. It's a cliche, but it applies.
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Old 08-27-2013, 08:45 AM
 
16,376 posts, read 22,510,985 times
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As you get older you have more money accumulated. Younger folks have to save up the down payment for their first home and then spend money buying furniture and landscaping. Also young folks are usually spending money raising children.

When you get older, the kids are grown (if you had them)..so you don't have that huge expenditure. And you already bought your first home and usually sold it and moved a few times since then, often to a nicer neightborhood with a nicer home than your first home. Often your home is paid off or the mortgage payment is low.

Your money issues are now focused on retirement and when will you stop working. And do I have enough money for travel and nice vacations or a 2nd home. Will you sell and move to another area for retirement or will you stay in the current location.

And you got wiser over time and through all kinds of learning experiences that life gives us. So you are very comfortable in your own skin.

You like to go to restaurants and enjoy beautiful views. You appreciate history/historic things more than when you were young.

If you went to rock or country concerts when you were young...there is often a point in time when you start to age that these events are no longer something you care about...or want to partake in.

You realize that there is so much to do and see in life. And that the years go by quickly. So you want to do these things while you are able to do so, especially from a physical standpoint.
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Old 08-27-2013, 09:18 AM
 
Location: Sacramento
14,044 posts, read 27,238,461 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jonathanp219 View Post
This question is directed to those who are above the age of 40.
I've always been curious about what goes through the mind of an older person. Do you feel more limited at your age, do you enjoy yourselves less? Do you consistently think about all the opportunities you ruined in your younger years? Is your thought process the same as it was when you were in your 20s or 30s? Do you still feel like there's plenty of time left to accomplish more goals in your life? I just look at some older people (In their 60s and older) and some of them look so frail. I wonder to myself, does this person still enjoy their life, or do they dread waking up everyday?
I like this question, I would have asked it when I was younger too.

I'm a 61 year old guy, to give perspective to my responses.

being limited - I've been an exerciser my entire life and as you age some stuff does become more difficult to do. Things such as arthritis start to impact your ability to do stuff like lift weights, and joints often begin to wear out. As I've aged, I tried to retain my abilities for as long as possible, and when something becomes too difficult to continue to do I try to find something else that can replace it and provide similar benefit.

enjoyment - It changes as I've aged, stuff I enjoy today is somewhat different than I enjoyed 30 or so years ago. Also, technology changes making stuff available that didn't exist back then, so I'd summarize by saying I enjoy myself as much today but sometimes it is different things than I'd choose when younger.

lost opportunities - Yes, to some degree I can say I look back and can see places where I might have made different decisions. However, since I'm content with how life has turned out for me, I realize that some of those decisions I might have made differently probably would have cost me some of the things I enjoy and benefit from today. So overall, I'm OK with what I've done and the paths I've taken.

thought process - It is different for me because I've always been someone who tries to strategically plan my life, and I've gone through enough time to realize that now I'm not setting things up for future growth. Now I look more for current contentment, and I live much more in the present than the future.

old and frail - Though 61 I'm hardly frail, nor do I anticipate being frail in the near future. At my peak, about 30 years ago, I bench pressed 200 lbs with 15 reps, and today I still bench press 180 lbs without too much stress (I do a lot of other stuff too, but this isn't the exercise area of the forums). I have slowed down a bit on the exercise bike, still do the same resistance but I used to do 50+ revolutions per minute but now am down to about 45. I realize that 20 or 25 years from now I won't have my current physical capabilities, but I'm willing to accept the trade off for a long and relatively happy life.

One thing that really impacts you though, that you haven't brought up in your question is the losses you go through when older, the family members and friends no longer with us and the emotions you experience in these transitions. That is a major part of aging.

Hope this gives you some useful insights.
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Old 08-27-2013, 09:30 AM
 
Location: Wonderland
67,650 posts, read 61,041,289 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jonathanp219 View Post
Quote:
This question is directed to those who are above the age of 40.
LOL so now "over 40" is "old." Wow - who knew? Certainly not this fifty one year old woman!

Quote:
I've always been curious about what goes through the mind of an older person.
First of all - you won't have to wonder for long, if you're lucky - because "over forty" gets here before you can blink twice.

Quote:
Do you feel more limited at your age,
Limited? In perspective -no. I feel I have MORE options overall than I had when I was in my twenties. Yes, some of my options are off the table (for instance, I can't have more kids). But they are more than compensated by new options (grandkids! EVEN BETTER!).

Quote:
do you enjoy yourselves less?
HELL, no! Just this past month, for example (and it's a typical example from my life), my husband and I vacationed in Asheville, NC (where we ziplined last year). We also spent a day of decadent shopping in Fort Worth a few days later. THEN we went down to Austin and met up with my son who works in a club on 6th Street. He took us on the 6th Street barhop and we finished off the night at Pete's Piano Bar, and a great time was had by all!

Oh - and at this stage in our game, we can afford MUCH better hotels and dining out!

Next month, we are going to an Eagles concert (may not mean much to you, but it does to us!).

Quote:
Do you consistently think about all the opportunities you ruined in your younger years?
Nope. I travel light. I forgive others easily, and I forgive myself easily.

Yes, I made some mistakes along the way, and some bad choices and decisions, but I also made some EXCELLENT decisions. Not only that - even my "bad" decisions and choices have, for the most part, worked out pretty well for me in the long run, by the grace of God.

Quote:
Is your thought process the same as it was when you were in your 20s or 30s?
Once again, HELL no. I wouldn't go back to being in my twenties again if you paid me a million dollars - UNLESS I was allowed to go back WITH the knowledge that I have now.

I am a lot calmer now. I take fewer unnecessary risks. I take better care of my health. I think more about the long term ramifications of my actions than I did when I was younger.

Quote:
Do you still feel like there's plenty of time left to accomplish more goals in your life?
Sure - but my goals are different now. One good thing about my state of mind, one that's been pretty constant over the course of my life, is that I do believe this:

"Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery. And today? Today is a gift. That's why we call it the present." Babatunde Olatunji

Yesterday is gone, tomorrow isn't guaranteed to us - AND NEVER HAS BEEN. We have today to make a difference, today to live fully. That doesn't mean we don't make plans, or set long term goals, but it does mean that we can't put off the enjoyment of today's small pleasures in exchange for some euphemistic goal in the future. FIND THE BALANCE. And learn to savor small pleasures.

Quote:
I just look at some older people (In their 60s and older) and some of them look so frail. I wonder to myself, does this person still enjoy their life, or do they dread waking up everyday?
You bring up a good point. My mother and father in law are in their eighties, and they are sort of like this (though they weren't in their sixties). I think both of them are truly depressed. But they haven't taken care of their health. They don't read. They don't have - and never have had - many outside activities and interests - they've been homebodies all their lives and prefer piddling around in the yard and house, which is FINE when you can do it, but when you can no longer keep up your yard (three acres) and your house (2800 square feet) and you don't read much and don't have much family around...what are you going to do?

I bring up the issue of family, because they are sort of dysfunctional as a family. They only had two kids, and only one of them had a child - one child (my husband from his previous marriage). There was some family drama I won't go into, but which was avoidable, as most family drama is. Consequently, they don't see much family.

I think it's very, very important to forge healthy relationships across the generations - these loving relationships provide much satisfaction and joy in later years. I saw this with my grandparents, who were vigorous and active and loving well into their 80s -their LATE 80s. Even their great grandchildren loved and cherished them, and surrounded them up to the very end.

This is my goal.

I also have my parents as good examples. They are in their seventies. They remain very active - my dad even has a personal trainer and goes to the gym about four days a week! They walk regularly. They are very active in their community. They don't seem depressed or frail at all.

Quote:
I just want a heads up, to see what I should be expecting when I hit my 40s and beyond. I'm sorry if this question might sound a bit ignorant. If I offended anyone, I apologize.
You're not offending me. I think your questions are valid.

From a man's perspective, my fifty five year old husband has told me this:

- He feels old football injuries more. Yes, you do get less agile, a little more stiff, you move a little slower, and it can take longer to recover from injuries. That's just the honest truth. KEEP MOVING.

For both men and women, I'd say the following is true, generally speaking:

1. Sex becomes less of a quantity thing and more of a quality thing (this applies to both men and women, I believe, generally speaking of course). It's still great though. Here's the thing I've found though - the focus of relationships is not sex when you're older. It's not the main thing you groove on - it's the icing on the cake, not the cake.

2. Your body is simply less forgiving - for instance, you can't just "eat anything" and suffer no ill effects - weight gain is easier, indigestion is more common, and HANGOVERS are harder to deal with!

3. It IS disappointing to note gray hairs, wrinkles, sagging skin. Honestly, it feels like your body is betraying you! That being said, these things can be minimized and held off quite a bit by taking care of your health on the front end, staying in shape, eating well, staying out of the sun, etc. At some point you just have to accept that you're not going to look 30 for the rest of your life - but that your goal should be to look your best. Actual FEATURES become less important, and overall VITALITY and VIBRANT HEALTH become your focus - or can become your focus. You stop worrying about perfection and instead start focusing on things like keeping your skin supple, dressing stylishly so you don't look dated or aged.

You quit worrying about the wrinkles caused by laughing so much. You begin to realize that such lines are beautiful in their own way.

When you're living life to the fullest, alongside someone else who is doing the same and who loves every part of you, wrinkles and expanded waistline and all, these imperfections really don't - and shouldn't - weigh you down.

Getting older beats the alternative, that's for sure.

One thing I want to point out is this - INSIDE YOUR HEAD, you always feel the same. At least, that's what people have told me, and what I've experienced myself. ME - WHO I AM - is exactly the same person I was when I was seven years old. That inner child thing? It's for real. I think it's our soul.
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