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well, SOMEBODY not only made junk, he "made" some REAL pieces of excrement. just look at Hitler, Stalin, etc. You CAN change your appearance, a LOT. There's all sorts of cosmetic surgery and your willpower CAN forge a totally different body. Just look at some pics of Jack Lalanne as a kid and what he looked like in his 30's.
So I either "blend in" or I deserve to get ostracized, even though I am not doing anyone any harm.
Cool.
This thread should be used as an example of "what's wrong with 21st century American society".
You know, I actually agree with you to a point. I've really never understood the vitriol people have for those who stay to themselves. I wonder if these kinds of people have ran into a person who was actually a threat to their well-being or a person who looked to manipulate or use them to get something of value from them. They would probably see that a quiet guy who stays to themselves isn't that bad.
BUT...
It is what it is, people are going to have their opinions of you, some people just won't like you no matter who you are and what you do. Either you're going to have to take some type of action or just let it go.
And while you might not be a creep you're certainly are too sensitive towards people who hold you in negative regard. I mean even though you've had people trash you in this thread you've also have gotten a lot of supporting comments as well but you keep focusing on those that trash you. If you know who you are and comfortable with who you are and what you believe in then it shouldn't bother you what others think.
Also OP I have to ask...
Why did you post this thread? Was it for emotional support or was it to get advice? You're on a public forum so people are going to have their own opinions, some may not agree with yours. So what were you looking for?
Just to clarify, I only felt need to look down at the floor AFTER I overheard the "C" word. There's a lot of shame attached to that word. I think you misunderstand me that I am not unfriendly or unapproachable. I do not work at a company where social interaction is encouraged, so why do I have to pretend to be someone I'm not?
I never said I was trying to fit in there or make friends. I just don't want to be judged, Funny how many of you see more of a problem with my behavior than with those who judge and call people names. That speaks volumes. I'm not the victim, but I'm not guilty of any wrongdoing.
This is your quote: <<<The only place I have to interact with people (unfortunately) is work>>>
This implies that you ARE trying to make friends or at least fit in and stop being treated that way.
As for judging your co-workers, isn't it obvious that they are ignorant? You see, I suspect that you are feeling sorry for yourself and want other people on here to tell you how horrible those people are.
I would rather focus on YOU. You can't control whether they are ignorant. You said "I am not guilty of any wrongdoing." What if maybe you WERE "guilty?" What if you are attracting the very thing you claim you want less of?
I was bullied when I was a kid and I have had other negative experiences with various people. Since I have started reading about the Law of Attraction, I am starting to get out of victim mode. It does no good. Even getting all of us to commiserate with you does not stop those people from doing what they will do.
Change yourself and your life will change. Get out of yourself. I don't believe that everyone who doesn't look attractive is doomed to a life of loneliness.
This is your quote: <<<The only place I have to interact with people (unfortunately) is work>>>
This implies that you ARE trying to make friends or at least fit in and stop being treated that way.
As for judging your co-workers, isn't it obvious that they are ignorant? You see, I suspect that you are feeling sorry for yourself and want other people on here to tell you how horrible those people are.
I would rather focus on YOU. You can't control whether they are ignorant. You said "I am not guilty of any wrongdoing." What if maybe you WERE "guilty?" What if you are attracting the very thing you claim you want less of?
I was bullied when I was a kid and I have had other negative experiences with various people. Since I have started reading about the Law of Attraction, I am starting to get out of victim mode. It does no good. Even getting all of us to commiserate with you does not stop those people from doing what they will do.
Change yourself and your life will change. Get out of yourself. I don't believe that everyone who doesn't look attractive is doomed to a life of loneliness.
Are those people really worth bending over backwards to please? I was bullied as a kid but after I met people who treated me with kindness and respect. I gravitated towards them rather than beg the bullies for their acceptance.
I've labeled lots of people creepy, and I defend it. It's never based on the person's physical appearance, but on their behavior.
Not-so-attractive guy works in the same office and says hi when I walk by? Just a guy. Not a creep.
Not-so-attractive (or super-attractive) guy who works in the same office but is regularly seen taking things out of the trash can that certain women have thrown away, and who keeps a collection of this stuff in his cabinet, smelling it regularly and rubbing it against his face? Creepy
Odd looking guy waiting in line to buy coffee? Just a guy.
Odd looking guy hanging out on playgrounds, staring at kids, moving his hand around in his pants pockets? Creepy.
Guy seems shy and has trouble striking up conversations? Just a shy guy or an introvert, or both.
Guy seems shy, has trouble striking up conversations, but shaves his head, eyebrows and entire body, sends daily e-mails and letters to a famous actress, and "accidentally" bumps into women all the time at work? Creepy.
It's the behavior that makes the creep.
Also, I would not include behavior such as keeping to oneself and being a loner in the "creepy behavior" category. If you could only sample some of my posts about being a loner & introvert, you'll see I'm very resentful when people label us loners abnormal.
But we all have to admit that some people display behavior deserves the "creepy" label. Eliminating the use of the label would be throwing out the baby with the bathwater.
This sounds to me like an excellent definition of "creepy" and what it means as opposed to other behavior.
I have heard a lot of people, especially the younger set, seem to use the term "creepy" and "creeper" as a blanket label for any male, especially one older than the user of the word, whom they think is undesirable in some way.
In fact, the other day I was in a convenience store quietly making a cup of hot tea and minding my own business when I overheard a couple of young women on the other side of the coffee/condiment counter talking about me and saying I was creepy, because... well... I'm not sure, exactly. Because I, like the OP, am tall and skinny? Because I was wearing a hoodie in August? Because I added French vanilla creamer and not hazelnut? The mind boggles.
This thread wasn't to focus on me and what I need to do. I know I have low self-esteem, but I am also an introvert. I accept my place in life, but I don't need people kicking me when I'm down as I don't bother anyone or get in anyone's business.
This thread was designed to make people aware of how damaging the "C" word can be. It's not a nice feeling to live each day knowing that women think you're some sort of threat.
I get what you're saying. It's hard enough to be either shy and awkward OR very introverted in today's noisy, shiny world, but when you're both... it's a double whammy.
And when it's people in the middle of the familiarity spectrum who are judging you unfairly (for any reason, really), it's worst of all. Because they're not total strangers who you'll likely never see again and can talk yourself into forgetting. And they're not family or close friends who you could discuss it with.
I try remember to tell myself that when people label, judge, or hate me without knowing me, it says an awful lot more about them than it does me. It's easier said than done sometimes.
I try remember to tell myself that when people label, judge, or hate me without knowing me, it says an awful lot more about them than it does me. It's easier said than done sometimes.
I agree. It's hard to act with rationality when emotions are running high. If this workplace is really toxic probably the only way to get to of it is changing jobs.
Now I don't feel the OP is ready to listen to us. He sounds to me like he is too emotional about this situation. I don't know who the problem is, is it the OP or is it a very toxic environment? At this point I'm just posting as reference in case someone in a similar situation reads this thread.
I think the OP is not ready to tell himself that maybe he is doing something wrong like expecting the world to act the way he thinks they should be acting. This idea that the world should be fair is just ridiculous and it only makes us angry, powerless and depressed
Since we are not seeing the OP in action and are only getting one side of the story we don't know what is really going on. The OP could be making a lot of assumptions and creating a problem that might not even exist. It could be the OP is acting very antisocial or it could be he is around very judmental people and his coworkers just suck big time.
What we know is that he heard one of his coworkers call him freak. The rest to me sound like assumptions he is making in his head about what others think of him. He is judging a whole workplace for the comment made by one person who I think it's probably a not very nice person to begin with
It's hard to socialize with people who act like they don't want to talk to you. The OP has said he doesn't want to socialize just work. However when people act the same way he acts with them he takes it as an insult. Someone didn't want to take the elevator with him and he assumed it was because they think he is a creep. Could it be that the person feels uncomfortablle around him because of his unfriendly behavior? If so then why is it "fair" to the OP for him to act antisocial and it's not OK when other people do it?
My guess is that the OP will again get defensive and get insulted with this post but I could be wrong. No one can read minds or the future. We can only assume what others are feeling or thinking.
Last edited by Sugah Ray; 09-02-2013 at 05:26 PM..
I don't know if this forum or this section of this forum is the appropriate place for this, but ...So my point is, stop tossing the word "creep" around so casually...Save that word for men who are generally threatening and who deserve it.
Thank you.
Quote:
Originally Posted by non-creep
This thread wasn't to focus on me and what I need to do. I know I have low self-esteem, but I am also an introvert. I accept my place in life, but I don't need people kicking me when I'm down as I don't bother anyone or get in anyone's business.
This thread was designed to make people aware of how damaging the "C" word can be. It's not a nice feeling to live each day knowing that women think you're some sort of threat.
Quote:
Originally Posted by non-creep
It seems that this thread is going off on a bit of a tabgent. I don't do anything anyone with a logical mind would perceive as "creepy". I just go to work and I do my job. I dress professionally, unlike others and I don't stare at anything beyond my computer screen. But apparently I am creepy just because I am tall, lanky, unattractive, introverted and quiet. I don't gawk at women nor do I dig for trash.
Anything else? I get the impression that people have no problem who people like me being given this ridiculous label that has all kinds of very negative connotations..
Quote:
Originally Posted by non-creep
I'm rather disheartened by most of the responses here, so perhaps this wasn't the appropriate place to post this. Most responses seem to consider me the problem tether than the individual(s) who make such cruel comments and slap labels on men who are already insecure & are just trying to struggle through life, work for a living and not get in anyone's business.
Quote:
Originally Posted by non-creep
I'll let you armchair therapists continue with your psychoanalysis of me at your own will. I don't wish to keep repeating myself by saying that I don't do anything that would warrant being called a name that has so many negative and scary meanings. No pity party here, but clearly the general consensus is that there's something so wrong with being quiet and introverted that people like me should be lumped in a bracket with potential rapists, sexual predators and pedophiles. Add to that, you seem to think there's something so wrong with being an introvert that I need pills and therapy to "correct" my so-called creepiness.
Quote:
Originally Posted by non-creep
People of your mindset are part of the problem. You automatically assume that there's something wrong with being introverted. That's really what it boils down to. I pity you that you are incapable of seeing the wood for the trees.
Quote:
Originally Posted by non-creep
Then call me weird by all means, but don't label me with a word reserved for men who are perceived as threats or sexual oredators.
I can't change who I am or how unatreactive I am. I go to work to work and I work damn hard, rather than gossip or talk about people behind their backs.
Get my point?
Quote:
Originally Posted by non-creep
It's not even worth it. I don't want the drama and I would have difficulty proving it. I am not one of the popular ones in the office. I prefer to just be a ghost and focus on my work, which is what I'm paid to do.
Quote:
Originally Posted by non-creep
...I just don't want to be judged, Funny how many of you see more of a problem with my behavior than with those who judge and call people names. That speaks volumes. I'm not the victim, but I'm not guilty of any wrongdoing.
Quote:
Originally Posted by non-creep
So I either "blend in" or I deserve to get ostracized, even though I am not doing anyone any harm.
Cool.
This thread should be used as an example of "what's wrong with 21st century American society".
So, given all of this, we ought to be able to determine from this what you DON'T want.
So with all of that out of the way, what DO you want from us in this thread? Whom DO you agree with? Certainly someone on here is on the right course, right? If so, who? Not once have I seen you mention, "That's it there. This poster gets me. This poster understands." Or am I to believe that none of us has helped you in any way?
If not, I'd agree then. You've perhaps hit the wrong subforum for this topic.
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