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I'm sorry people can be so rude and hurtful. No one deserves that.
I urge you to find a nitch in a community that has non-judgmental and loving participants such as an animal shelter or even a therapeutic riding facility. Or you could volunteer to work at a hospital or nursing home. (Special Olympics? Habitat for Humanity?) There are people (and animals) out there who need you badly and will give back what you offer to them.... unconditional love!
You're very articulate. Consider the NaNoWriMo adventure! (google it!)
There's a nitch for you somewhere that is going to show you how important you are in this world!
I guess I am approaching this from another angle. I do agree that there are things someone can do to improve his appearance. Learn to dress well, because that says positive things about you. Look straight ahead, not down, OK? You don't have to make eye contact, but you should look straight ahead.
My biggest concern about you is that you don't have allies at work. Everyone needs friends at work. Without friends you are much more vulnerable. Make a friend somehow.
Please know that you are not the only guy ever called a creep. And you don't honestly sound like one either. I agree with the previous poster that behavior is what causes women to label a guy a creep. But if you could find a mentor to help you dress, and if you found something at work you were really good at, I think you'd like yourself better.
How to find a friend? Be a friend to someone. And here's another thought. Do a little bodybuilding. Honest. Plenty of non handsome men have added to their appeal with a fit body. You'll move more confidently too.
But whatever you do, look straight ahead, not down. Be a friend to another co worker. Find a way to improve yourself, and go for it. Keep us posted on your progress.
I've labeled lots of people creepy, and I defend it. It's never based on the person's physical appearance, but on their behavior.
Not-so-attractive guy works in the same office and says hi when I walk by? Just a guy. Not a creep.
Not-so-attractive (or super-attractive) guy who works in the same office but is regularly seen taking things out of the trash can that certain women have thrown away, and who keeps a collection of this stuff in his cabinet, smelling it regularly and rubbing it against his face? Creepy
Odd looking guy waiting in line to buy coffee? Just a guy.
Odd looking guy hanging out on playgrounds, staring at kids, moving his hand around in his pants pockets? Creepy.
Guy seems shy and has trouble striking up conversations? Just a shy guy or an introvert, or both.
Guy seems shy, has trouble striking up conversations, but shaves his head, eyebrows and entire body, sends daily e-mails and letters to a famous actress, and "accidentally" bumps into women all the time at work? Creepy.
It's the behavior that makes the creep.
Also, I would not include behavior such as keeping to oneself and being a loner in the "creepy behavior" category. If you could only sample some of my posts about being a loner & introvert, you'll see I'm very resentful when people label us loners abnormal.
But we all have to admit that some people display behavior deserves the "creepy" label. Eliminating the use of the label would be throwing out the baby with the bathwater.
I agree it is usually the behavior of the said "creep" in question. Some people are just not good looking....but it hardly makes the a creep.
OP is there anything you do that might be misconstrued as creepy?
It seems that this thread is going off on a bit of a tabgent. I don't do anything anyone with a logical mind would perceive as "creepy". I just go to work and I do my job. I dress professionally, unlike others and I don't stare at anything beyond my computer screen. But apparently I am creepy just because I am tall, lanky, unattractive, introverted and quiet. I don't gawk at women nor do I dig for trash.
Anything else? I get the impression that people have no problem who people like me being given this ridiculous label that has all kinds of very negative connotations..
This thread wasn't to focus on me and what I need to do. I know I have low self-esteem, but I am also an introvert. I accept my place in life, but I don't need people kicking me when I'm down as I don't bother anyone or get in anyone's business.
This thread was designed to make people aware of how damaging the "C" word can be. It's not a nice feeling to live each day knowing that women think you're some sort of threat.
I agree with you! People can throw out words or phrases that really cut deep. Your posting is a reminder to all of us: if a person doesn't have something nice to say: keep it zipped.
If rude people would just stop and think before speaking; and if they are ready to blast someone, they need to first ask themselves: "What would I say if that person were within earshot?"
Some people are still childish, bitchy and unkind. I think trying to lecture her probably won't do good, it has to come from within. As hard as it might be, be as cordial and polite as you can to everyone, appear confident, happy and not affected by what other's say.
Some people are still childish, bitchy and unkind. I think trying to lecture her probably won't do good, it has to come from within. As hard as it might be, be as cordial and polite as you can to everyone, appear confident, happy and not affected by what other's say.
Or people could act as mature and respectful adults who would opt to say nothing if they can't say something positive about someone who is zero threat to them? I mean, you're free to say whatever you want to say, but that doesn't justify being cruel.
It seems that this thread is going off on a bit of a tabgent. I don't do anything anyone with a logical mind would perceive as "creepy". I just go to work and I do my job. I dress professionally, unlike others and I don't stare at anything beyond my computer screen. But apparently I am creepy just because I am tall, lanky, unattractive, introverted and quiet. I don't gawk at women nor do I dig for trash.
Anything else? I get the impression that people have no problem who people like me being given this ridiculous label that has all kinds of very negative connotations..
You could be giving off a creepy vibe that you may not be aware of. I've worked with a couple of creepy men....one was in recent years. He eventually assaulted a female coworker after she made some stupid remark. I kept a distant from him, was nice but I kept my distance!
The other one was a long time ago. I was working as a PR intern at John Hancock. One of the executives on the floor that I worked on was this guy.
I remember how I felt when I first saw him...a frightening feeling that made me immediately want to back away from him. He truly had a creepy vibe - and hollow eyes, almost like his soul was gone! His wife worked there too, but I never met her.
I think your co-workers are picking up on the fact that you are odd or unusual. I don't think you meet my definition of creepy. If you did, I wouldn't be stupid enough to say it out loud.
Or people could act as mature and respectful adults who would opt to say nothing if they can't say something positive about someone who is zero threat to them? I mean, you're free to say whatever you want to say, but that doesn't justify being cruel.
But that would require them to be mature, respectful adults. Don't expect miracles.
I think you need to talk to HR because they are making work life uncomfortable for you and that is not ok. People wrongly think that only men do that but women can do it as well and when it happens it is just as wrong and needs to be dealt with.
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