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In my life I have had many close calls as far as dyeing. Couple weeks ago was the closest I had ever came. I was not in pain, very calm.
Told my wife that it wouldn't have bothered me if I had passed She gave me a look of How dare you think this?
Was I wrong to share this?
brushrunner
Thanks for sharing your experience, brushrunner.
Answering as someone who had minutes to live when I was returned to the OR and life-saving surgery, with blood and fluids be given through three IVs to keep up with the blood loss; also speaking as the one anxiously waiting in the Surgery Waiting Room and from my work; I believe it is up to the person.
Having written that, I also think it's important that those waiting for patients during surgery for the patient's surgeon feel they have talked enough with the patient to know why the patient would feel the way you did.
Did you talk to your wife prior to your surgery about your feelings? And did you listen to hers?
I don't know about "right" or "wrong" vs. what you and your wife each did or didn't know about each other's feelings and the reasons behind the feelings each person has.
If you haven't talked yet about what you each feel, do it ASAP.
I am not anxious to die but when the time comes I don't want to be "kept' alive. When I am no longer functional let me go. I have discussed this with my wife and son and have filled out a written directive.
Well we talked before and yes I told her I didn't really want to die but there is that chance. She just said it was simple Surgery and people don't die from it but as it turned out it wasn't so simple and I came very close to dyeing.
Like she said she was very worried when 20 minute surgery ran into three hours without a word then was told to talk to the Surgeon, she said our Pastor first thing he said This isn't good!
I have told her many times I'm ready to die, I've done so much in my life and I'm satisfied and when the time comes I prefer not to be in pain, which was the case at this time.
Well we talked before and yes I told her I didn't really want to die but there is that chance. She just said it was simple Surgery and people don't die from it but as it turned out it wasn't so simple and I came very close to dyeing.
Like she said she was very worried when 20 minute surgery ran into three hours without a word then was told to talk to the Surgeon, she said our Pastor first thing he said This isn't good!
I have told her many times I'm ready to die, I've done so much in my life and I'm satisfied and when the time comes I prefer not to be in pain, which was the case at this time.
brushrunner
Brushrunner,
Good you've talked with your wife. It sounds to me like you're ready but your wife is not ready to let you go. Are you well enough to ask your wife what she is afraid of or fears? Could your Pastor help.
Your wife probably took it to mean that you would have no regrets leaving her behind. I can understand your acceptance of death if it is your time, but it is important to let your loved ones know it has nothing to do with them. It would help if you discussed all the necessary arrangements made to make sure the ones you leave behind are taken care of.
Your wife probably took it to mean that you would have no regrets leaving her behind. I can understand your acceptance of death if it is your time, but it is important to let your loved ones know it has nothing to do with them. It would help if you discussed all the necessary arrangements made to make sure the ones you leave behind are taken care of.
Oh I just remembered who OP was, the guy whose DIL was acting weird on facebook & sons did not visit, they just passed through his town after his colonoscopy or something like that.
OP I doubt you meant what you said, looks like you are still hurting over what the kids said & you dont want to admit it.
Instead of telling the wife you would not mind being gone, open up to her tell her how much the kids hurt you & let her be your soft spot to fall. Seeing you have a strained relationship with the kids, pissing off the wife is NOT a good idea she probably feels like you would not care to be separated from her. She is all you have keep her on your side!
Good luck I hope you took the advice that a lot of posters had for you in the other thread about how to heal the relationship with the kids.
Oh I just remembered who OP was, the guy whose DIL was acting weird on facebook & sons did not visit, they just passed through his town after his colonoscopy or something like that.
OP I doubt you meant what you said, looks like you are still hurting over what the kids said & you dont want to admit it.
Instead of telling the wife you would not mind being gone, open up to her tell her how much the kids hurt you & let her be your soft spot to fall. Seeing you have a strained relationship with the kids, pissing off the wife is NOT a good idea she probably feels like you would not care to be separated from her. She is all you have keep her on your side!
Good luck I hope you took the advice that a lot of posters had for you in the other thread about how to heal the relationship with the kids.
Well it was much more than a colonoscopy, I was very close to death being operated on at the time he went through and he knew it. This was the time I was referring to my wife.
No my wife knows how I feel about death and I know she will miss me very much. I have made arraignments for when I go and she has agreed.
As far as strained relationships with the kids she has it much worse and I'm always there. Our Daughter wanted her Mom one time after a bad snow storm, to pack her Tools out a mile, and drive 40 miles to put Brakes on her car. Now Daughter is wanting her Mom who doesn't like to drive in the dark, to drive to her place at 2AM, get Son in Law off to work and make sure Kids get to school, then come home. She wants this two days in a row, when the Kids just as easy stay couple nights at our Sons place and go to school from there.
No most our kids don't give a **** about us it is just about them.
In my life I have had many close calls as far as dyeing. Couple weeks ago was the closest I had ever came. I was not in pain, very calm.
Told my wife that it wouldn't have bothered me if I had passed She gave me a look of How dare you think this?
Was I wrong to share this?
brushrunner
To state that, in exactly those terms, could easily have been interpreted by her as though you didn't care enough about her to stay around. I think what you probably where trying to get across was that the clinical experience itself surprised you because it was so calm and peaceful and free of stress, that the passing from life to death can be a much simpler thing than we sometimes think it is. Maybe you can explain that to her to reassure her about her importance to you.
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She gave me a look of How dare you think this?
