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I believe that I have Avoidant Personality Disorder.
You don't seem to have the low self esteem and feeling of inferiority, and you don't seem like others could easily hurt your feelings, at least according to some of your other posts.
You don't seem to have the low self esteem and feeling of inferiority, and you don't seem like others could easily hurt your feelings, at least according to some of your other posts.
That's my facade, Tracy.
I do not interact with anybody in the real world unless forced to because I am terrified of being judged.
Who cares if people judge a screen name? I get some kind of sick enjoyment out of being somebody completely different online than what I am in the real world.
I was mostly kidding. I think you might have sounded arrogant in that thread about psychiatrists not knowing what they're doing, or you knowing more than they do. No one is "smart enough" to treat you, something like that.
But it wasn't like I was personally ticked off or angry. Plus, I "get" that you post things sometimes just to provoke.
I would cut those professionals (well, some indeed ARE idiots, so certainly not all of them) some slack. You are so heavily defended that it would be nearly impossible for anyone to get through that in a few visits. I had a client who was similar to how you portray yourself, and it took him almost two years of telling me I knew nothing (while he kept coming back) and testing my intelligence and competence, until he finally opened up just a little.
I was mostly kidding. I think you might have sounded arrogant in that thread about psychiatrists not knowing what they're doing, or you knowing more than they do. No one is "smart enough" to treat you, something like that.
But it wasn't like I was personally ticked off or angry. Plus, I "get" that you post things sometimes just to provoke.
I would cut those professionals (well, some indeed ARE idiots, so certainly not all of them) some slack. You are so heavily defended that it would be nearly impossible for anyone to get through that in a few visits. I had a client who was similar to how you portray yourself, and it took him almost two years of telling me I knew nothing (while he kept coming back) and testing my intelligence and competence, until he finally opened up just a little.
Well, my social anxiety prevents me from being that rude to the therapists in person. I am polite and cordial, and I even for the most part have a positive impression inside of the therapist during the session. I just after the sessions get feelings of doubt about their professional credentials and their competency to deal with my complex problems. During the session I can be passive aggressive in pretending to listen to them but really not retaining anything they say, because maybe in my mind I'm thinking --- "well, wait a minute, that isn't quite right" and I think "loudly" such that when I'm thinking, I am able to blot out what people are saying to me even while I'm pretending to listen. I'm not good with verbal communication in general.
I think I try to cut people slack, but my feelings of arrogance and narcissism are overwhelming.
To try to get it back on topic a bit, I think that avoidant personality is something that's difficult to diagnose. Because it's harder to know exactly why someone is an introvert or a loner than it is to recognize that they are that. I myself don't always know my motivations for being an introvert, so it is hard to tell whether it is avoidant, schizotypal, or schizoid. But I think it really is avoidant, because in interpersonal interactions are intimidating to me because I am constantly thinking that I'm being judged negatively.
I wonder if it's possible for someone to have both avoidant personality disorder and narcissistic personality disorder. If it is, then I think I may. But I don't trust any of my current mental health providers to be able to properly diagnose that.
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