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Unread 10-09-2013, 11:39 PM
 
Location: USA
860 posts, read 362,946 times
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Default People judge themselves for mistakes, but should they?

People do something, fail/or it doesn't work out right, and then say: "how could I have been so stupid"? "It was so stupid of me to go there".... "It was so stupid of me to talk to this person"...

But why do people say that? If people cannot predict the future, they have to expect some of their adventures to end in failure. It cannot be otherwise. It cannot always end well. So, does it make sense to call ourselves stupid when something we tried doesn't end well?

Our life could be compared to a scientist who wants to discover the best way to do something. In order to do that, he would have to try different ways of doing this thing. And obviously most of the ways will end up in failure. Wouldn't it be strange if a scientist calls himself stupid each time something he tries doesn't end in success?

And yet people do that. They call themselves stupid even though they had no way of knowing how to do this thing. They just took a chance and hoped for the best. And yet, when it didn't work out, they would blame themselves for "being so stupid". And feeling bad about SELF. But it's a strange thing to do in reality... when compared to a scientist...
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Unread 10-10-2013, 09:37 AM
 
Location: Victoria TX
37,097 posts, read 31,246,264 times
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Not all failures are the same. Sometimes, in retrospect, it is easy to see the risks that you failed to take into account. Other times, the risk was manageable and considered, and the potential reward worth it, but things didn't fall into place as they might have. Every body does some of both.

You can't put all failures in the same basket and flagellate yourself equally for them all. If you do, you will defeat your progression from the former to the latter types of failures, which comes through experience, wisdom and maturity.

Last edited by jtur88; 10-10-2013 at 09:47 AM..
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Unread 10-10-2013, 08:40 PM
 
1,257 posts, read 746,478 times
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I just realized about a year ago I got in front of the congregation at Church leading them wrong because I hadn't did enough research . I'm sure most don't remember or realize I did this but I'm thinking I should tell them what I did and apologize, being a Church Leader I feel I owe them this.

I'm my worst critic when I mess up.

brushrunner
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Unread 10-10-2013, 11:43 PM
 
Location: USA
860 posts, read 362,946 times
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The Bible says: "love your neighbor AS your SELF"

I think that people don't pay attention to the AS your self part...
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Unread 10-11-2013, 03:49 AM
 
456 posts, read 137,374 times
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I think people should judge the fallout of the mistake and if it is too great, try not to repeat the mistake.
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Unread 10-11-2013, 07:27 AM
 
Location: Planet Earth
636 posts, read 279,254 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LoveWisdom View Post
People do something, fail/or it doesn't work out right, and then say: "how could I have been so stupid"? "It was so stupid of me to go there".... "It was so stupid of me to talk to this person"...

But why do people say that? If people cannot predict the future, they have to expect some of their adventures to end in failure. It cannot be otherwise. It cannot always end well. So, does it make sense to call ourselves stupid when something we tried doesn't end well?

Our life could be compared to a scientist who wants to discover the best way to do something. In order to do that, he would have to try different ways of doing this thing. And obviously most of the ways will end up in failure. Wouldn't it be strange if a scientist calls himself stupid each time something he tries doesn't end in success?

And yet people do that. They call themselves stupid even though they had no way of knowing how to do this thing. They just took a chance and hoped for the best. And yet, when it didn't work out, they would blame themselves for "being so stupid". And feeling bad about SELF. But it's a strange thing to do in reality... when compared to a scientist...
At least the scientist with a series of failed experiences was working towards something positive. Sort of like the way penicillin was invented. However, stupid mistakes and bad judgement is not working towards any purpose other than stupidity. I should know.
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Unread 10-11-2013, 07:43 AM
 
Location: Victoria TX
37,097 posts, read 31,246,264 times
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I have no doubt that when God looks down on life on earth, he shakes his head and says, "I'll never try that again".

99.99% of all living creatures die the most horrible death imaginable. Most simply get slowly dissolved in digestive acids of a predator, but a few lucky ones get torn apart by teeth and talons and die quickly.
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Unread 10-11-2013, 08:34 AM
 
Location: california
1,764 posts, read 623,974 times
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I invent and create a few things from time to time ,and have made my share of blunders in life .
Often times it is a result of running ahead of God, rather than seeking wisdom and direction as I should.
Some decisions are made with the information at hand ,and there are choices to be made.
The basis for those choices are what is being observed.
Joshua could have simply rushed into battle hoping for the best ,but he choose to wait till he got specific instruction from God.
Jesus said "I do what the Father tells me".
The further one drifts from asking instruction, the more blunders are made.
Often I think to protect my ego and make excuse , but knowing my Heavenly Father really hates excuses, I have to differ to the truth, and keep the focus on the narrower portion of the target.
What would it be in manufacturing ,if assemblers only put some of the components in your computer ,would that be OK with you ? after all most of it is there right ?
wrong . You expect to get what you paid for, and if you don't, you go some where else.
In manufacturing perfection is the target both in product quality and production volume. Less than this , in this competitive world, can cost business.
Bing critical on one's own performance ,discovering the weakness and the solution inspire a greater value in one's self. Goals too easily obtained, have no future demand.
Failures too easily expected are a negative future.
Jesus said to strive to enter the narrow gate ..
Yes that's being narrow minded . but whether in business or in faith ,if the goal is set too shallow ,once attained there is no future.
But setting a standard well above "The standard," is an investment in living a fuller life.
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Unread 10-11-2013, 09:14 AM
 
1,801 posts, read 1,049,133 times
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Judge not; lest ye be judged.

I am not a biblical scholar by any stretch of the imagination but I think there is something similar in there somewhere.

In a practical sense, there is a reason why you create plans. I know this is a little formal and stuffy, and probably applies to bigger events in once life. It might take the form of only scratching a few notes or a simple decision tree on the back of an envelope, but at least you have some idea of where you are going, and why.

When things don't work out, or you end up in a place which is different than you planned (i.e., failure), it is a worthwhile exercise to go back through the plan, measure the shortfall, and determine where things went awry.

We all do it every day, in the simplest of ways: Plan to cook; hand on hot stove; burns; don't do it again. In the bigger things in life....personal, possessions, opinions we tend to be less formal with our planning, and it some times to comes back to be regrettable. A little self examination is appropriate. A change in behavior is appropriate as well. It is called life. We only fail when we do the same things over and over, and expect that the outcome will be different.

Now THAT is real and regrettable failure. Judge yourself, perhaps not harshly, for your mistakes, and you will likely have a better future.
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Unread 10-11-2013, 05:18 PM
 
1,257 posts, read 746,478 times
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It would be nice to have Do Overs knowing what you messed up on this time around.

I messed up one time, people to this day remember and remind me but in the long run it worked out for the best.

brushrunner
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