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Some women would feel guilty about killing their unborn baby.
Some women just like having a child regardless of whether it's logical or not.
Some don't believe that two parents are REQUIRED to raise a child.
Well, it's not a baby... It's a fetus.
And even if people don't think you need 2 parents to raise a child, wouldn't you agree that it would be a hell of a lot easier?
I'm baffled when women say, "He's a deadbeat dad!" or "He doesn't visit his child" or "He doesn't pay child support." I then say to myself, "Well, you're the one that was on your back with your legs in the air, now you're complaining about the man you chose to father your child(ren). Generally, if a couple was married, he stays in their lives after the divorce is finalized.
I agree with you that women who could have made the choice to have an abortion, but did not make that choice, should not force their choices on men. If they decided to have a baby, then they should not expect that a man would want to take care of it. We all know that not all want to be involved in having children and also it depends on the timing.
But women who don't believe in killing a fetus, are forced to have this baby. And then it makes sense that they believe that men (responsible for this mistake) should also be forced to take responsibility.
I'm baffled when women say, "He's a deadbeat dad!" or "He doesn't visit his child" or "He doesn't pay child support." I then say to myself, "Well, you're the one that was on your back with your legs in the air, now you're complaining about the man you chose to father your child(ren). Generally, if a couple was married, he stays in their lives after the divorce is finalized.
I am only here because you asked me to post here. First you say: "My intentions aren't to insult others" and then you say something like the bolded above. Clearly you don't care about insulting others.
Apparently most of the responders on this board haven't heard of two things: 1. Divorce and 2. Failed birth control.
I was MARRIED when I had my children. Get that, MARRIED. And 90% of the single moms I know were also MARRIED to the father of their children. And the reason why we are no longer married is because these dads decided - after they became parents - that they no longer wanted to/couldn't handle the responsibility of being a mature, stand-up man. Some of them lied, refused to work, had affairs, turned to drugs and alcohol, had mental health issues, etc. That's why we are all now divorced. And all of us mature, stand-up women took responsibility for the children we chose to bring into this world, because that's what a parent does.
So if someone becomes a deadbeat loser during marriage, what makes you think he will suddenly become responsible again after a divorce?
As far as BC failing, it happens all the time. PP, pharmaceutical companies, doctors don't like to admit the truth, but BC that is claimed to be 90+% effective actually isn't. When I was in my 20's everyone I know who got pregnant unexpectedly was on the pill. ALL of them. Other BC fails all the time. And some women simply cannot take hormonal bc which means their options are limited and the likelihood of bc failure is even greater.
And finally, you can suggest abortion all you want, but believe it or not there are plenty of us out here who don't think our babies should die because some a$$hole can't be a man.
I am only here because you asked me to post here. First you say: "My intentions aren't to insult others" and then you say something like the bolded above. Clearly you don't care about insulting others.
Apparently most of the responders on this board haven't heard of two things: 1. Divorce and 2. Failed birth control.
I was MARRIED when I had my children. Get that, MARRIED. And 90% of the single moms I know were also MARRIED to the father of their children. And the reason why we are no longer married is because these dads decided - after they became parents - that they no longer wanted to/couldn't handle the responsibility of being a mature, stand-up man. Some of them lied, refused to work, had affairs, turned to drugs and alcohol, had mental health issues, etc. That's why we are all now divorced. And all of us mature, stand-up women took responsibility for the children we chose to bring into this world, because that's what a parent does.
So if someone becomes a deadbeat loser during marriage, what makes you think he will suddenly become responsible again after a divorce?
As far as BC failing, it happens all the time. PP, pharmaceutical companies, doctors don't like to admit the truth, but BC that is claimed to be 90+% effective actually isn't. When I was in my 20's everyone I know who got pregnant unexpectedly was on the pill. ALL of them. Other BC fails all the time. And some women simply cannot take hormonal bc which means their options are limited and the likelihood of bc failure is even greater.
And finally, you can suggest abortion all you want, but believe it or not there are plenty of us out here who don't think our babies should die because some a$$hole can't be a man.
Well, I also believe it's a generational thing. I'm a millennial, and it's quite common to have children out-of-wedlock, whereas it's more taboo with Generation X and even more taboo with Baby Boomers.
As far as becoming a single mom after a divorce: I think something happens which causes a change in the relationship. It could be that she is paying more attention to the baby, going from two incomes to one, not feeling appreciated, lack of intimacy, etc.
I don't believe that when you were in your 20s that everyone was telling the truth. You have to take it at the same time every day (which is where most women go wrong). You can also get pregnant if you're on antibiotics and BC.
CORRECTION in reference to "plenty of us out here who don't think our babies should die because some a$$hole can't be a man." -- It's a fetus, not a baby.
And to answer your question, I strongly believe that something happens during the marriage that causes him to withdraw.
I am only here because you asked me to post here. First you say: "My intentions aren't to insult others" and then you say something like the bolded above. Clearly you don't care about insulting others.
Apparently most of the responders on this board haven't heard of two things: 1. Divorce and 2. Failed birth control.
I was MARRIED when I had my children. Get that, MARRIED. And 90% of the single moms I know were also MARRIED to the father of their children. And the reason why we are no longer married is because these dads decided - after they became parents - that they no longer wanted to/couldn't handle the responsibility of being a mature, stand-up man. Some of them lied, refused to work, had affairs, turned to drugs and alcohol, had mental health issues, etc. That's why we are all now divorced. And all of us mature, stand-up women took responsibility for the children we chose to bring into this world, because that's what a parent does.
So if someone becomes a deadbeat loser during marriage, what makes you think he will suddenly become responsible again after a divorce?
As far as BC failing, it happens all the time. PP, pharmaceutical companies, doctors don't like to admit the truth, but BC that is claimed to be 90+% effective actually isn't. When I was in my 20's everyone I know who got pregnant unexpectedly was on the pill. ALL of them. Other BC fails all the time. And some women simply cannot take hormonal bc which means their options are limited and the likelihood of bc failure is even greater.
And finally, you can suggest abortion all you want, but believe it or not there are plenty of us out here who don't think our babies should die because some a$$hole can't be a man.
As far as becoming a single mom after a divorce: I think something happens which causes a change in the relationship. It could be that she is paying more attention to the baby, going from two incomes to one, not feeling appreciated, lack of intimacy, etc.
Not an excuse for deciding not to be a responsible adult. Also, you're still blaming the woman.
CORRECTION in reference to "plenty of us out here who don't think our babies should die because some a$$hole can't be a man." -- It's a fetus, not a baby.
Your belief does not make it so. There are still people in the world who believe that women get pregnant with babies, not medical terms
And to answer your question, I strongly believe that something happens during the marriage that causes him to withdraw.
Yes, what happens during marriage is that men have to be responsible, mature adults who take care of their families. Some men can't deal with this. And it is, once again, pathetic that you (as a woman, and NOT a parent, I might add) are surreptitiously blaming women for this.
Watch Teen Mom 3 on MTV and you will get your answer!
Teen Mom, like all reality shows, has producers who guarantee the most dramatic possible situations and outcomes. These producers populate the shows with unstable people who are inclined toward bad behavior and they actively encourage them to use that mindset as a foundation for their future actions. So you will tune in and become a regular viewer. It is no more a realistic reflection of the majority of people's lives any more than The Bachelor reflects the reality of dating couples, Big Brother reflects the lives of typical roommates, or Keeping Up with the Kardashians reflects family life ... even in Los Angeles.
Yes, what happens during marriage is that men have to be responsible, mature adults who take care of their families. Some men can't deal with this. And it is, once again, pathetic that you (as a woman, and NOT a parent, I might add) are surreptitiously blaming women for this.
Your belief does not make it so. There are still people in the world who believe that women get pregnant with babies, not medical terms
Well, if we're talking about technicalities, it's still a fetus, not a baby. This can be debated back and forth, but I think that would be taking the thread off-topic.
Yeah, I bring up that it might have been the woman's fault because women can't even fathom the idea that maybe, just maybe there was something that they did that caused the relationship to fall apart. When a man's attitude changes, it's a red flag that the relationship is headed towards a downward spiral. Men need to be nurtured, too!
Yeah, I bring up that it might have been the woman's fault because women can't even fathom the idea that maybe, just maybe there was something that they did that caused the relationship to fall apart. When a man's attitude changes, it's a red flag that the relationship is headed towards a downward spiral. Men need to be nurtured, too!
And again, this is taking my thread off topic...
I think the real issue, especially when a couple meets very young, is that the woman matures significantly faster than the man. Over time the woman becomes less enthralled with their adult "child" that is too busy being a child, then actually helping to raise the child he helped create.
Well, if we're talking about technicalities, it's still a fetus, not a baby. This can be debated back and forth, but I think that would be taking the thread off-topic.
Yeah, I bring up that it might have been the woman's fault because women can't even fathom the idea that maybe, just maybe there was something that they did that caused the relationship to fall apart. When a man's attitude changes, it's a red flag that the relationship is headed towards a downward spiral. Men need to be nurtured, too!
And again, this is taking my thread off topic...
How much experience do you have caring for a newborn and meeting the demands of a husband at the same time?
Imagine this: you're caring for the baby around the clock. Every 4 hours, she needs to be fed and changed. You haven't had a decent night's sleep in months, because you couldn't sleep much the last two months of your pregnancy either. You haven't mastered diapering, so half the time when you pick the baby up from the crib, the diaper has leaked and you have to change the sheets and do laundry. Your husband is working 8 hours a day and you feel like you're working 24 hours. Since you're on maternity leave, your husband expects you to cook a nice dinner every night and make sure the house is clean too. So you climb into bed, exhausted, knowing that in three hours it will be time to get back up and feed the baby. Your husband is in bed, waiting to have sex with you because he's happy that you don't have a baby bump anymore. He can't understand why you're too tired to get into it and just want to get it over with as quickly as possible. (or maybe you had to have an episiotomy during the birth and even though the doctor says you're healed, you're terrified that you're going to rip open during sex) He feels like maybe you love the baby more than you love him. The reality is, he can feed and care for himself and you're just too exhausted to nurture him.
I think this is pretty common for a lot of women. Mothering is not instinctive and you aren't born knowing how to care for an infant. It's a set of skills you have to master. If you're lucky, then your husband helps out around the house and also understands that you're too tired to do everything you used to do. If you're not lucky, your husband thinks that you're sitting home on your butt every day doing nothing, and that you're just selfish for being too tired to have sex.
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