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I had to train myself and that meant being willing to do what ever it takes.
I know a young man who was bullied in school.
I advised him to not fight. "Unless you must." Bullies are coward loses who don't have any other way
in mind to puff themselves up.
"If you must fight be sure the other guy is bigger than you. Don't use weapons of premeditation,
like guns or knives. "
He live's in a tough neighborhood now and he's a man, about 5'10.
Recently he was jogging. He was confronted by three big punks that demanded his cell.
One ended up running away and two went to prison. He held one until the cops came and the
other one was caught.
Years later, I learned a punk in high school who would not leave him alone got his ribs broken with a skateboard.
I saw an advertisement once on TV which impacted me forever.
I was about deoroant. but the read like this ---- NEVER let the enemy see you sweat!! it took me some time, but realized God made me and put me on this earth therefor I have value. AT least to GOD, and He made them all- so they are no better or worse. If I was good enough to be created,,, bump the rest- Once I gave me- my OWN self worth,,, nobody could knock me down emotionally or otherwise. FIND yourself,,, see how beautiful you are as a person and walk tall- baby- those others have to be in groups because they have nothing of thier own inside, silly people. The money or name, means nothing in the end,,, they go up and they go down. It is who you are inside that counts- if they picking on you,, YOU are the threat.... yes you are.....
Being bullied is Abuse, and I always thought that any @ss hat who acted that way we're weak minded @ss clowns, and I was right. I've been in a few locker rooms in my time, HS, College, and both of my careers, and anyone who bullied anyone was always met with Force Multiplier. Defending the Oppressed is the REAL show of strength and force. And that's that. Stay safe, Stay frosty.
At my high school in the late 1970's we had an awesome vice principal that would walk the hallways and prevented a lot of bullying before it even started. Apprehended a few as well. Was very friendly with the good students.I am sure I would have been targeted far more often if he had not done that. He could have stayed in his office all day and collected his check without exerting extra effort, but he chose to be involved and cared about the students. I am grateful to him to this day!
Last edited by chessgeek; 11-30-2016 at 01:10 AM..
I'm a Child Protective Services worker, and we have constant seminars on bullying. I find that many teachers and/or parents just don't grasp the reality of bullying.
I drive home a very heavy point in terms of bullying in school: Does the word COLUMBINE mean anything?
Those boys (Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold [sic]) were very harshly picked on and bullied.
No one needs to be reminded of the results!
Bullying is alive and well right here on City-Data, although I'm not claiming that the effects are as serious as bullying in, say, high school, when the victims are still too young to have developed the self-confidence and inner strength to let it roll off their shoulders. It's quite astounding that even some seniors (i.e., 65 and older) still engage in bullying!
I was bullied in middle school. Not physically. I was a fat kid who couldn't stand up for himself.
Eventually I lost weight, found a sport I could be good at (nothing spectacular, but at least I was on a team), became friends with people who were decent and smart. My grandma always said, "nobody's better than anybody else", and this helped me to maintain my self-esteem.
By high school, I was in a far better physical shape, able to defend myself, and with a circle of friends. So the bullying stopped. I actually ended up befriending one of these former bullies. Luckily there wasn't too many really mean ones. Just some kids who were stupid and immature. Sometimes they do grow up and change for the better. Only sometimes. Often it's the other way around.
The biggest trick to surviving it is to maintain self-esteem, have a sense of humor, have a purpose / interest outside of daily class activities, and find friends.
And remember, that a 13 year old bullied nerd often grows up into a successful young professional. My 10 year school reunion felt like a revenge. By then I had spent some time in Europe, had an engineering degree, well paying job, traveled all over North America for work (back then I actually considered it a perk), had many stories to tell, drove a cool car, had a beautiful talented girlfriend, was self-sufficient financially and emotionally. Most of the bullies were still trying to piece their life together. I really hate bragging about anything, but I think that day I went far and wide
I always tell my kids that living well is the best revenge.
I was bullied a lot in elementary and middle school. That being said, I really don't identify as a "bullying survivor." People can be mean; we can take steps to ensure that others aren't treated poorly, but I really don't want to be part of a special class because some kids that didn't know what they were doing made fun of me.
Okay, what if EVERYONE made fun of you, making your life at school, work, or wherever all of this was going on, fairly difficult and eventually made you feel like taking your own life because you couldn't cope with having your image molded by someone else into a person you despise as well as what ever else was going on at home? I can relate. I feel like the bullying I experienced caused me to isolate myself from people. I didn't participate in after school clubs, even though I was interested. When I complained to my teacher about the bullying, I was given only limited helpful advice. I didn't go on dates; I didn't even go to the prom. I was sick of trying to be good enough for those jerks. I guess you don't really know how it feels unless it's happened to you, and, these weren't just a few isolated incidents, mind you, they were secret shameful experiences that happened to me throughout my childhood. When you have to put up with it every day it can feel like they're telling the truth, and there's no way to build your self-esteem by learning new skills, because they're there to make your life miserable at school and make it an unpleasant place. Imagine going to gym just to have the other girls tease you and mock you day after day. I hated that treatment so much that I became a teacher to stop it from happening to more kids.
I was bullied a lot in elementary and middle school. That being said, I really don't identify as a "bullying survivor." People can be mean; we can take steps to ensure that others aren't treated poorly, but I really don't want to be part of a special class because some kids that didn't know what they were doing made fun of me.
I disagree they knew what they were doing. I'm sure not every or even most of the kids weren't bullies. Being a bully is a choice.
Okay, what if EVERYONE made fun of you, making your life at school, work, or wherever all of this was going on, fairly difficult and eventually made you feel like taking your own life because you couldn't cope with having your image molded by someone else into a person you despise as well as what ever else was going on at home? I can relate. I feel like the bullying I experienced caused me to isolate myself from people. I didn't participate in after school clubs, even though I was interested. When I complained to my teacher about the bullying, I was given only limited helpful advice. I didn't go on dates; I didn't even go to the prom. I was sick of trying to be good enough for those jerks. I guess you don't really know how it feels unless it's happened to you, and, these weren't just a few isolated incidents, mind you, they were secret shameful experiences that happened to me throughout my childhood. When you have to put up with it every day it can feel like they're telling the truth, and there's no way to build your self-esteem by learning new skills, because they're there to make your life miserable at school and make it an unpleasant place. Imagine going to gym just to have the other girls tease you and mock you day after day. I hated that treatment so much that I became a teacher to stop it from happening to more kids.
If this is occurring at school, parents should be stepping in. This is addressing it at the school and addressing it with the child.
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