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well this is definitely not politically correct for me to say, but I have often wondered if the marriage counselors are divorced men and women themselves, what makes them so great to give advice? Are they more qualified to give advice and act like God simply because they have a license and couple of years of schooling?
My sister and her husband are seeking professional help in order to save their marriage. I say their marriage is beyond repaire. Her husband has been cheating on her for so many years with at least three different women. The marriage counselor said that they had to learn to communicate with each other better. After several sessions, he learned to "forgive himself." Seriously, this has to be a joke.
The marriage counselor is a divorced woman herself and she admit she has cheated on her own husband!!! (but she learned to free herself from guilt.) Well, I admire her honesty, but how can she possibly give advice to help my sister when she was a God damn cheater herself?!
Some marriage counselors aren't married. Others are divorced twice or unhappily married. Is this who you want to pay for advice? Would you take fitness tips from a 350-pound personal trainer who just had bypass surgery?
If your marriage counselor doesn't have the kind of relationship you want, she simply can't tell you how to get it. When I think about the lousy advice that my sister got during her marriage counseling, I'm amazed that she could even sit there and listening to all these bs.
Instead of someone with an impressive diploma, consider seeking the advice of a wife with a happy, healthy, intimate relationship. I think my sister should just ask my mom for her advice. She should also ask my sister in law and her happily married friends. She can even ask me why I am so happy with my relationship!! Although I am not married myself, my love life is definitely much better than hers!!
Instead, she has to pay for a professional help. The end result is that she is feeling even worse and more miserable.
These people irritate me.. and Id never go near one... their like shrinks who pay the bills through sad unhappy people desperate for help.. Ill give advice just now , if her husband cheated three times that she knows of, hes probably did it more and will continue to cheat.. boot him out, and try and move on.. good luck to her , she needs it, even to give this swine a chance...
I don't think you can assume they don't have good relationship skills because they're divorced. It takes two people, remember. Maybe the counselor married a guy who turned out to be a cheater, or had anger problems he wouldn't deal with. Counselors aren't magicians, they can't just wave their skills over someone else and control what they do.
No, I wouldn't think you and your mom are more qualified. Of course the therapist might auck but chances are she has more training and experience helping people.
That might be reason why your sister is listening to her therapist and not to you, you might not have the skills to communicate effectively.
How can this be? Obviously, my bil will never learn to take responsibility of his own action, my sister is a damn codependent who suffers from low self esteem.
This counselor is from hell. She was a divorced cheater herself, and all she did is making my sister feel worse.
I say the best plan is to learn what marriage is and how to be a good partner and how to find a good partner. Unfortunately, we have a love affair with the wedding industry, not the marriage industry. Love is a necessary but not sufficient component for success. We actually do know what makes relationships work but not enough people are interested in being proactive. Discovering the principles of intimacy can be done in many ways.
I certainly will never choose to take advice from a divorced cheater. What a joke.
yeah, if she doesn't know how to make her own marriage work, if she doesn't know how to be faithful, if she doesn't know how my sister feels like to be cheated on so many times, she has no right to be a marriage counselor.
These people irritate me.. and Id never go near one... their like shrinks who pay the bills through sad unhappy people desperate for help.. Ill give advice just now , if her husband cheated three times that she knows of, hes probably did it more and will continue to cheat.. boot him out, and try and move on.. good luck to her , she needs it, even to give this swine a chance...
That is what I am saying. Divorce the pig, problem solved.
Nope. I told her she should divorce her pig husband. She married a pig, not a real man. No amount of counseling will make her husband change. Yeah, truth hurts.
Maybe this counselor just reflected back what both people feel in the marriage. It would probably be more helpful for your sister to have individual counseling now, rather than couples therapy. I believe she needs to just have an identity of her own.
I wonder if marriage counselors who are divorced, are more likely to promote divorce as a means of solving a problem? And those who are religious, may encourage other values, like staying together for children.
Maybe this counselor just reflected back what both people feel in the marriage. It would probably be more helpful for your sister to have individual counseling now, rather than couples therapy. I believe she needs to just have an identity of her own.
I wonder if marriage counselors who are divorced, are more likely to promote divorce as a means of solving a problem? And those who are religious, may encourage other values, like staying together for children.
Yes. Yes. Yes. I agree with everything you posted!!
Bold = gold
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After several sessions, he learned to "forgive himself." 
Well, I admire her honesty, but how can she possibly give advice to help my sister when she was a God damn cheater herself?!
