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Old 10-29-2013, 09:02 PM
 
768 posts, read 817,285 times
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A woman I know is a physical therapist at a hospital school. She is non-aggressive and a perfect victim. She had asked one of the nurses there about one of the residents whom she happens to be working with. The nurse got together with two other nurses and called her in to a conference where they verbally lambasted her for being nosy and questioning them.

The problem is she does not stand up for herself and certain people (grown up bullies) will sense this.

Is there a strategy or technique she could use to take back some control if they corner her again. Something that could become reflex to give her time to either get away of diffuse the situation?
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Old 10-30-2013, 04:04 AM
 
2,233 posts, read 1,268,382 times
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I think she needs to learn who to trust. If she hasn't learned this and she had a question about another resident, she should have gone directly to that resident and asked him or her.

As far as that situation, I would tell her she needs to leave a room when people are yelling at her. The problem with this is that some people are used to being yelled at.
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Old 10-30-2013, 11:31 AM
 
Location: Somewhere
8,071 posts, read 5,075,318 times
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OMG she is deep trouble

If no lives are threatened by the nurses' actions I think it's best to be quiet, stay under the radar until they pick someone else to bully around

If lives at risk, I would document, report to their managers and look for another job before I get fired.
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Old 10-30-2013, 05:46 PM
 
9,265 posts, read 7,284,180 times
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She's not being bullied. I wish people would stop throwing that word around.

She's an adult. She was at work. She and her co-workers had a disagreement. That's all.

She has every right to disagree and to defend herself. Again, she's an adult and she chooses how to live her life.

If she wants to respond, she will. If she doesn't respond, then assume she is okay with the disagreement and how she was treated.

Maybe she was okay and only YOU have a problem with the situation.
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Old 10-30-2013, 05:57 PM
 
Location: Squirrel Hill PA
1,864 posts, read 1,740,329 times
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Tell her to stop acting like a victim.
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Old 10-30-2013, 08:42 PM
 
19,237 posts, read 11,133,504 times
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wow -ask if she needs to talk- maybe she freezes up or is NOT sure how to handle these two. I wait n sooner or later folks that act up get caught. Now you could turn blue yelling- I learned you will be the one getting the heart attack- I simply ignore you. you're the one with the problem NOT me. so that's how I handle nuts
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Old 10-30-2013, 09:26 PM
 
768 posts, read 817,285 times
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She freezes up. I can explain it, most people are fight or flight, she takes the verbal abuse and doesn't think to leave or fight back. SHe knows she did nothing wrong but has no mechanism for defending herself, VERY meek. Two of them called her in to a private room and verbally blasted her pretty good, the same two have been building a little coalition against her by gossip and innuendo. They are the mean girls from jr. high all grown up and still at it. She is the perfect victim.

I had a similar situation recently where a male coworker accused me of causing a problem at work. I am new there and I think he was either staking out his turf or putting me in my place. I knew I did not make the error he accused me of so I told him "... I got an idea... why don't you get on one knee and kiss my a$$?" Hasn't bothered me once since! Unfortunately... saying something like that would NEVER occur to my friend.
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Old 11-01-2013, 09:07 AM
 
663 posts, read 2,385,114 times
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Your colleague needs personal boundaries. Here's a book that might help:

Boundaries Where You End And I Begin: How To Recognize And Set Healthy Boundaries: Anne Katherine M.A.: 9781568380308: Amazon.com: Books
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