I think Narcissists can't see their behavior (thoughts, people)

[LoveWisdom]

These thoughts came to me recently, so I thought I would write them down just in case.

I think that people cannot see their own behavior in general. And that other people are our mirror. It's how we are able to see our own behavior. We see others behave a certain way and then our empathy program runs and matches their behavior to some things we do (pattern matching) and then gives us a result: you are doing the same thing this person is doing.

But some people do not have the ability to empathize (to relate to others, to put themselves into their shoes, to match the patterns of their behavior to their own). So these people cannot see their own behavior because I think the only way to see it is by empathizing with others (by observing them), by realizing that yours and theirs behaviors match.

So I think that maybe narcissists are some of the people who can't empathize, can't put themselves into others shoes, can't see that their behavior matches with others' behavior. So these people can't see their own behavior (since you could only see it by observing it in others). So they must not be aware. Unless someone tells them and I guess they would just then have to believe this person, take them at his/her word.

[Billy_J]

Also, in addition to your "can't empathize" theory, there are the "don't want to" or "could care less" possibilities...

For example I know a guy who is totally self-centered. He has a company vehicle he drives and recently took in in to get new tires. I asked him how much the tires cost... He said he didn't care because his boss had to pay that. So all he did was sign the invoice when the work was completed - never looked at the cost. (His boss has an account at that tire center.)

And he will do the same with anything which does not have to do with him personally. That includes anything to do with his wife or kids. If asked he will say "I don't know, that is their problem!"