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Old 12-11-2013, 02:13 PM
 
428 posts, read 398,469 times
Reputation: 105

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Quote:
Originally Posted by soUlwounD View Post
I would try again

You can change it if you are open for a change and if you want to change. If you want to change your thoughts that is a process, as well as it was a process to become into a point where you are now. Only if you see a value for change yourself, work for it. If you not see any value, then don't. You set your goals what you want to be. If you are happy now, then be like that, if you want something else, then reach out for that

I also know lot of violated, broken and unhappy marriages but we are individuals and we can make our own choices. In a relationship and marriage if your goal is to be happy, your actions are to keep you both happy. Unhappy marriages contain lot of wrong choices and focus is not in a right place. Don't focus on you, don't focus on her but focus to both of you together.

First, don't focus other peoples experiences and problems because you are not those people in person. You choose your ways to manage a relationship, it does not have to be unhappy and unhealthy way. Find your soulmate. The one who has same goals and thoughts of how relationship basic on happiness and not all of that negative stuff.

It is forever school, we grow as individuals an we grow as couples. We don't know what all this life is going to offer for us, negative or positive. But as long as you have a strong union together it does no matter what will happend, you will always survive
These are some great words but i think i am done. I have decided my future and destiny and there is no going back and i am happy about that.
I just want to have no negative feelings in my brain about anything and i am working on it. I have gradully accepted what i believe as truth and now just want to stop on. Ofcourse, its difficult with Ocd and that is why i am kind of stuck with my thought process but i know one day i would when these hormones would settle down. So i think its cool
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Old 12-11-2013, 02:30 PM
 
Location: PNW, CPSouth, JacksonHole, Southampton
3,328 posts, read 4,598,906 times
Reputation: 12614
Quote:
Originally Posted by Amy1190 View Post
Um...you can't "go gay". That's the silliest thing I ever heard. He doesn't want to be attracted to women, so why would sleeping with a man or being attracted to a man help?

*confused*
What an eighteen-year-old says is not to be regarded as the final word. What I'm hearing from his posts is that the Male Role in a heterosexual relationship is potentially fraught with dangers.

I'm guessing he's from a "traditional" culture, where freedom of sexual expression is not an option. He may be censoring his own conscious thoughts, that they might be in-line with "traditional" expectations.

In any event, most people are inherently bisexual. There are so many stories of men suddenly realizing that they were bisexual or gay. The world is FULL of stories like that.

Plenty of men who have problems with women-as-people (and who are miserable in their relationships with women) discover that their relationships with men are better/peaceful/productive. Plenty of women move from nightmarish marriages to men, and into blissful and permanent relationships with other women.

Sometimes, you won't know whether something is an option until you explore that option.

Oh, and to respond to soULwounD's "I hope they get their freedom to fell with a loving girl no matter of geography. "....

We're in Oregon. The Scandinavians our boys date are from Minnesota, Washington State, California, and Iowa. They tend to be from wealthy farm/ranch families, to be high-earning professionals (or on-track for those professions) and to have higher IQs than most men. Scandinavians are smart, and with the best temperaments. They're big girls, capable of being equals with big guys. Why should our sons settle for less, when they know where to find the best?
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Old 12-11-2013, 02:37 PM
 
Location: Somewhere
8,070 posts, read 5,876,796 times
Reputation: 5654
Quote:
Originally Posted by princewilla View Post
Nope. Because now i think both are just illusion like love.

Do you think these hormones and desires would settle down once i become a 20 year old or so ?
I am optimistic because maybe this is just a phase and my desire would curb naturally once i start to age ?
I don't know. I guess if you get surrounded by an environment with limited female population you would feel less tempted. Maybe you should consider a career dominated by men where you have little interaction with the public. It's easy to get over someone you just met once but if you have to interact with those women everyday, most of the time you cannot avoid feeling attracted. We tend to have more control of our environment and our behavior than of our feelings.
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Old 12-11-2013, 03:02 PM
 
428 posts, read 398,469 times
Reputation: 105
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sugah Ray View Post
I don't know. I guess if you get surrounded by an environment with limited female population you would feel less tempted. Maybe you should consider a career dominated by men where you have little interaction with the public. It's easy to get over someone you just met once but if you have to interact with those women everyday, most of the time you cannot avoid feeling attracted. We tend to have more control of our environment and our behavior than of our feelings.
That is what i usually do though. Thanks for the advice,
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Old 12-11-2013, 03:22 PM
 
Location: LA, CA/ In This Time and Place
5,445 posts, read 3,899,717 times
Reputation: 5080
Good luck but remember you will cave in as you should. Living life without a awesome, hot woman is no life at all.
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Old 12-11-2013, 03:29 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
87,901 posts, read 81,736,093 times
Reputation: 91809
Quote:
Originally Posted by princewilla View Post

It was not a cry for help. It was just a question to seek some advices. And after reading comments and responses i am no longer depressed or sad.
Help for what ?
For thinking differently ?
Help for the issues you raised in your OP, which you clearly want help with, or you wouldn't have bothered to post here. Help for the depression you get yourself into. Help with your conflicted feelings about women. Don't play dumb. The issues you presented to us are more appropriately addressed to a mental health care professional.

You're in college, you have a rare opportunity to get that help for free. (You'd be surprised how many of your fellow classmates are taking advantage of those free services.) Get it while you can.
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Old 12-11-2013, 03:30 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
87,901 posts, read 81,736,093 times
Reputation: 91809
Quote:
Originally Posted by princewilla View Post
Do you think these hormones and desires would settle down once i become a 20 year old or so ?
I am optimistic because maybe this is just a phase and my desire would curb naturally once i start to age ?
No. They'll settle down a little after 40, more so after 50. You have a long way to go, yet.
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Old 12-11-2013, 04:02 PM
 
428 posts, read 398,469 times
Reputation: 105
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nema98 View Post
Good luck but remember you will cave in as you should. Living life without a awesome, hot woman is no life at all.
But that is your OPINION.
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Old 12-11-2013, 04:05 PM
 
428 posts, read 398,469 times
Reputation: 105
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth View Post
Help for the issues you raised in your OP, which you clearly want help with, or you wouldn't have bothered to post here. Help for the depression you get yourself into. Help with your conflicted feelings about women. Don't play dumb. The issues you presented to us are more appropriately addressed to a mental health care professional.

You're in college, you have a rare opportunity to get that help for free. (You'd be surprised how many of your fellow classmates are taking advantage of those free services.) Get it while you can.
Mental health care ?
So you guys think i mad or some sort ?
Cool then. I was here for an advice and all i got is people bragging about how i have problems, how i am weird and bla bla bla.
...
How would you have felt if you were in my position and asked this question ? Would you have appreciated such responses ?
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Old 12-11-2013, 04:06 PM
 
428 posts, read 398,469 times
Reputation: 105
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth View Post
No. They'll settle down a little after 40, more so after 50. You have a long way to go, yet.
............... But i am still optimistic.
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