U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Covid-19 Information Page
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Psychology
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
 
Old 12-09-2013, 12:07 AM
 
36 posts, read 41,606 times
Reputation: 60

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by jillabean View Post
You have an irrational fear of something you've never experienced before based mostly on sensational and extreme cases you've read on the internet. What you mentioned is only a small portion of the way some men think and some women act. You fear every relationship with a woman will come out worst case. This fear could be the start of eventually more fears and social anxiety. It really wouldn't hurt to talk to a professional--just to be sure it really is what you think it is (what you feel is an informed choice) and not symptoms of something else. Like it was mentioned, you are a college student, it's free, take advantage of it now. What do you have to fear if you really believe there is nothing wrong? If nothing else, a professional can give you tools you can use to cope with feeling depressed.

Now, assuming there is nothing wrong and you just want to avoid relationships, there is no easy answer. I was married to a man who turned out to be gay... married to him for 13 years. I certainly had sexual desire and no outlet (I wasn't about to cheat.. he was still my husband and I was still married after all). I just dealt with it until the day he left me. I didn't cheat, try magic pills from the internet, or anything like that. I just did what people do when faced with something hard, I coped. I know it's not an easy answer like a pill or something, but that's life. It's not fair, there aren't easy answers, and sometimes you just have to pick yourself up from your bootstraps and press on.

You say you love animals... go to a shelter and volunteer. It might not take your mind off attraction, but honestly, I think it would do you emotional good to care for something. And hopefully, it will be another distraction for you until you figure things out.

There is nothing irrational about a man recognizing his circumstance in a one sided world. You may not agree or have appreciation for that but thats not exactly anyones problem
Rate this post positively

 
Old 12-09-2013, 12:09 AM
 
428 posts, read 398,054 times
Reputation: 105
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sugah Ray View Post
I'm not understanding you.

Are you saying not having kids will make you unhappy?

So you do want kids, you are just afraid a woman will get rid of you or treat you like garbage after your kids turn 5. An I understanding you correctly?

I wanna know the name of the documentary. That actually made me laugh since my parents divorced when I was that age. But I don't think the reason was that. My parents hated each other and fought constantly even before they conceived the first child. One possible reason is that we were no longer cute babies. Many men love babies just like most people like puppies and kitties. I did ask my mother once "why did you conceive me when you knew my father was violent and cheated on you?" Her answer "I didn't want to just have one baby".

I don't think most women are like the women in that documentary. Many women do anything to keep a man even when it's against the welfare of their children.
My parents stayed with each othrt because of me. Not because for each other and for their love and I still feel guilty about it.
How can you have kids without a woman ? They are all interconnected and I don't want either.
I saw that documentry on discovery channel some days ago.
Rate this post positively
 
Old 12-09-2013, 12:11 AM
 
428 posts, read 398,054 times
Reputation: 105
Quote:
Originally Posted by srjth View Post
Everytime you feel attracted to a woman just think about mom..... or taxes. That should do the trick.
That is what I actually do. And that is the reason I don't even watch porn or masturbate.
So far its working well
Rate this post positively
 
Old 12-09-2013, 12:13 AM
 
428 posts, read 398,054 times
Reputation: 105
Quote:
Originally Posted by ChessieMom View Post
This. OP, you have no worries at all.


But they don't seem to understand it in real life nor I show it to anyone.
Rate this post positively
 
Old 12-09-2013, 12:15 AM
 
428 posts, read 398,054 times
Reputation: 105
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cognitive55 View Post
Youre not alone. Ive mentioned this in a different post. More and more men are boycotting women all together. Yea people still **** but by no means do very many guys want to be involved with one. Atleast i dont. I simply dont respect women and never will
The only woman I respect is my mom. That's it. I think respect is earned,
Thanks for the response.
Rate this post positively
 
Old 12-09-2013, 12:20 AM
 
428 posts, read 398,054 times
Reputation: 105
Quote:
Originally Posted by ellie View Post
Of course broken hearts heal. Your parents weren't helicopter parents, by chance, parents who cushioned you from every little disappointment in life?

People are incredibly resilient. And yes, breaking up hurts like hell, but most people seem to survive and move forward. We all experience tragedy. It's an unavoidable part of life. It also makes you strong and wise.

Don't let fear of failure get in the way of accepting love when it comes your way. There are no guarantees in life, but with maturity and a little perspective, you may find yourself embracing difficult events as the very things that taught you the most.
If broken heart heals then why my friend never got the courage to ever date again after his breakup. According to him, love only leads to dissapointment. The huge part of him died when he had a break up.
Rate this post positively
 
Old 12-09-2013, 12:20 AM
 
36 posts, read 41,606 times
Reputation: 60
Quote:
Originally Posted by princewilla View Post
The only woman I respect is my mom. That's it. I think respect is earned,
Thanks for the response.
Absolutely. Some moms atleast. Not all women qualify for this rank
Rate this post positively
 
Old 12-09-2013, 12:37 AM
 
16,482 posts, read 22,375,220 times
Reputation: 16267
Quote:
Originally Posted by princewilla View Post
This is my LAST topic in city data and I want to make it clear.

Based on my experience ( both in and out of internet ) it seems like women in general don't see any worth in their men after they have kids. Things like child support, alimony and welfare system act as a fuel to further the fire. I saw a documentary where women only need men for 5 years. It's during that time when the infant can't walk and mommy can't leave the house. After baby turns 5, she moves on. Apparently that's our nature.

I am actually a 18 year old and the things i have been exposed to like briffaults law, MGTOW, views of many women on men etc in internet make me hate the institution of marriage, fatherhood and love.
Why should i even bother ?
I always stay away from women, totally avoid them, no unnecessary conversation and no friendship with them. I have decided to stay single throughout and never to date or marry and stay virgin too.
But may times i feel extremely attracted to women. I get feeling that women are so special and the best creation ever. Then i feel irritated n depressed sometimes. I remain happy most of the time but sometimes this feeling gets me. And no I don't hate women or anything.
My actual question is
How to totally overcome and kiill my feelings, attraction towards women forever?
There must be a way.
You are an 18 yr. old heterosexual male, you are NOT going to kill your feelings about women. You are young, you have plenty of time to grow up more, live a single life for awhile and maybe find a special woman in your life. You can always find men or women that fit into a newspaper article or documentary you may read or see. That does not mean all men or women are like that. There are many couples that are together well beyond having their children, them growing up and moving out of the house. You will live a miserable life if you refuse to date, have sex, or ever marry because you believe this documentary. Life is too short to live it without love.
Rate this post positively
 
Old 12-09-2013, 01:28 AM
 
428 posts, read 398,054 times
Reputation: 105
Quote:
Originally Posted by brokencrayola View Post
You are an 18 yr. old heterosexual male, you are NOT going to kill your feelings about women. You are young, you have plenty of time to grow up more, live a single life for awhile and maybe find a special woman in your life. You can always find men or women that fit into a newspaper article or documentary you may read or see. That does not mean all men or women are like that. There are many couples that are together well beyond having their children, them growing up and moving out of the house. You will live a miserable life if you refuse to date, have sex, or ever marry because you believe this documentary. Life is too short to live it without love.
Why that love always have to be romantic ?
Because it gives you butterflies, sex etc ?
I have my family to love, to care about and I am happy with that
I think you are answering this from your point of view instead of mine. But thanks for your response.
Rate this post positively
 
Old 12-09-2013, 03:12 AM
 
Location: Somewhere
8,070 posts, read 5,872,460 times
Reputation: 5654
Quote:
Originally Posted by princewilla View Post
My parents stayed with each othrt because of me. Not because for each other and for their love and I still feel guilty about it.
How can you have kids without a woman ? They are all interconnected and I don't want either.
I saw that documentry on discovery channel some days ago.
No they're not. You can have kids outside a marriage or you could father a kid with a friend or a lesbian couple.

I asked you if you wanted kids because you said you wouldn't get a vasectomy, which would solve your financial fears. Not all women want to be mothers.

So my guess is that you still want to have kids and that is why vasectomy now is out of the question. Then under what circumstances do you want kids?

Do you want to have kids and a wife?

Or do you just want to to have kids even if it is outside a family?

In both cases if you bring a kid to this world society makes you and the woman responsible for that child for 18 years. Some gay men know that and are willing to pay child support to achieve that dream. Some ask a friend(maybe an umarried woman who also wants to be a mother) others just fool a woman or have a sham marriage for a couple of years. It's more common than what you think.

It seems to me that a vasectomy after you have the amount of children you wish to have will solve your women's issues. Whether you are in a happy marriage or not you are still financially responsible for those kids you bring to this world. It has nothing to do with the mother but with parenthood.
Rate this post positively
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.



All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2021, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top