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When you mix these feelings with OCD brain then you would get the perfect recipe for disaster. Because these fears repeat themselves whenever i think about love or women. Imagine how frustating that would be ?
On one hand you want to believe there are amazing women out there but somehow your brain find itself uncomfortable to believe it and give you compulsions to repeat the negative thoughts about women and stay away from the. Its very complicated and depressing and that is why i wanted to just get rid of these desires. Plus. I always have constant fear of losing my parents and my OCD works as a fuel to further that fire. My brain never stops obesessing about things. I can handle anything but the death of my parents. And that is why i avoid having emotional bond with anyone. When my uncle died i decided to avoid everything which i am emotionlly attached to or could possibly become like a woman or a child. I cannot handle losing someone i love. Death of my uncle tored me apart when i was 15.
Being single at any age can be challenging in a world that seems to place so much importance on finding the love of your life and becoming a couple. The whole world seems to be geared up to support you in this quest. There is very little support given to those who are consciously choosing to be spend time alone, learning to enjoy their own company and the creativity it sparks. There is almost a sense of failure or that there is something wrong with un partnered people. I experience it many times when my own friends accuse me of bring gay or loser....
Ok I totally understand now especially the paragraph of your post that I bolded. I could have written the exact same thing myself as I had the same feelings about my own parents as you do. For example, when they would leave me with friends or a relative, I would be terrified that they'd never come back or would be killed in a car crash. I would literally work myself up into a frenzy of worry and panic. So I know those feelings well and am probably not immune to them if I were to get emotionally close to someone again. I never really thought to put a label such as OCD on it. I just thought I was either clingy or that I just had an extreme fear of abandonment.
I'm single too and don't consider myself a loser. Do not listen to society, just be who you are. I am perfectly happy being single and I don't care how anyone judges me. You shouldn't either.
Just wanted to say that I can at least understand and empathize with your situation better. I was too quick to judge at first but I know where you're coming from.
Ok I totally understand now especially the paragraph of your post that I bolded. I could have written the exact same thing myself as I had the same feelings about my own parents as you do. For example, when they would leave me with friends or a relative, I would be terrified that they'd never come back or would be killed in a car crash. I would literally work myself up into a frenzy of worry and panic. So I know those feelings well and am probably not immune to them if I were to get emotionally close to someone again. I never really thought to put a label such as OCD on it. I just thought I was either clingy or that I just had an extreme fear of abandonment.
I'm single too and don't consider myself a loser. Do not listen to society, just be who you are. I am perfectly happy being single and I don't care how anyone judges me. You shouldn't either.
Just wanted to say that I can at least understand and empathize with your situation better. I was too quick to judge at first but I know where you're coming from.
Thank you any for understanding. It helps a lot. The reason i put OCD in that statement was because it force me to think about the same thing over and over and over. Whenever i talk to my father, the thought of losing him come to my mind which starts the never ending cycle of obesessive thoughts.
I don't think i am clingy. I never relied on my parents for anything. I just feel like i love them too much.
I am glad to find who think somewhat like me. Thank you............ I appreciate it..............
You have never relied on your parents for anything? I don't know about that one, children normally rely on their parents from a small baby until they graduate from high school. Your parents had to feed you, clothe you, teach you things, doctor and dentist visit, a home, college tuition, love and support, and just being there for you, and much more. you may have taken all these things for granted because that's what parents are supposed to do. but, yes you most certainly have relided on them for most of your life thus far. you relied on your parents for everything you needed and sound like they have done a good job in providing based on your testament of love for them. you may not think of it that way or call it something else, but children have to rely on their parents to take care of them.
You have never relied on your parents for anything? I don't know about that one, children normally rely on their parents from a small baby until they graduate from high school. Your parents had to feed you, clothe you, teach you things, doctor and dentist visit, a home, college tuition, love and support, and just being there for you, and much more. you may have taken all these things for granted because that's what parents are supposed to do. but, yes you most certainly have relided on them for most of your life thus far. you relied on your parents for everything you needed and sound like they have done a good job in providing based on your testament of love for them. you may not think of it that way or call it something else, but children have to rely on their parents to take care of them.
I was talking about the clingy part. I just no longer rely on them for emotional support because i don't want them to be sad because of me or anything like that.
Ofcourse, i am grateful of my parents and cannot count the things they have done for me and that is why i try so hard to put a simple smile on their face.
Thank you any for understanding. It helps a lot. The reason i put OCD in that statement was because it force me to think about the same thing over and over and over. Whenever i talk to my father, the thought of losing him come to my mind which starts the never ending cycle of obesessive thoughts.
I don't think i am clingy. I never relied on my parents for anything. I just feel like i love them too much.
I am glad to find who think somewhat like me. Thank you............ I appreciate it..............
Me too, only I never out a label on it. I only mentioned the word clingy because I've been accused of it. But it's like racing thoughts and it was so bad that I would dread my parents actually leaving for days beforehand. I even carried this into a couple of relationships, which caused major problems. I am largely over it now in terms of my parents but I have to admit I would be worried about this problem resurfacing if I became attached to someone. It was so bad that I wes once terrified one of my parents would get cancer or something. Call it irrational but it's something I haven't really thought about forms long time, never mind reflected on or tried to figure out why.
I wish I could helo more but now I have a much better understanding of your situation.
Me too, only I never out a label on it. I only mentioned the word clingy because I've been accused of it. But it's like racing thoughts and it was so bad that I would dread my parents actually leaving for days beforehand. I even carried this into a couple of relationships, which caused major problems. I am largely over it now in terms of my parents but I have to admit I would be worried about this problem resurfacing if I became attached to someone. It was so bad that I wes once terrified one of my parents would get cancer or something. Call it irrational but it's something I haven't really thought about forms long time, never mind reflected on or tried to figure out why.
I wish I could helo more but now I have a much better understanding of your situation.
This whole thing is just a part of my long list of obsessions and fears which repeat on and on and on. There is no relief. I understand you and its so unfortunate that you have go through it even when you were in relationship. I couldn't imagine
.I know i have often repeat myself here and sometimes my tone went from numb to rude and angry but my responses highly depends on my OCD and how severely those obesessive thoughts are coming back at me. So i am sorry if was being rude to you
Actually I deep down know that i cannot make a girl happy, i can only ruin her life in the worst possible way and that is why i wanted a long term solution so that i may not slip or fall in love with someone.
I know, my posts often don't make any sense.........You have helped me a lot amy and couldn't thank you enough for being so good to me... Sometimes you have live with yourself....... I am only human with flaws..... Now i feel like why i even made this thread in the first place.
This whole thing is just a part of my long list of obsessions and fears which repeat on and on and on. There is no relief. I understand you and its so unfortunate that you have go through it even when you were in relationship. I couldn't imagine
.I know i have often repeat myself here and sometimes my tone went from numb to rude and angry but my responses highly depends on my OCD and how severely those obesessive thoughts are coming back at me. So i am sorry if was being rude to you
Actually I deep down know that i cannot make a girl happy, i can only ruin her life in the worst possible way and that is why i wanted a long term solution so that i may not slip or fall in love with someone.
I know, my posts often don't make any sense.........You have helped me a lot amy and couldn't thank you enough for being so good to me... Sometimes you have live with yourself....... I am only human with flaws..... Now i feel like why i even made this thread in the first place.
It's a shame you can't find a way to treat your OCD. It is a shame you feel you have to miss out on love as without those racing thoughts, I am sure you could make a woman as happy as anyone else. You have to look at all the a**holes out there who cheat on their wives and girlfriends or abuse the physically or emotionally, so these are the people who ruin lives, not people like you.
Wish I had the answers. Some of them I am still searching for myself. Life is pretty cruel to many of us for one reason or another.
It's a shame you can't find a way to treat your OCD. It is a shame you feel you have to miss out on love as without those racing thoughts, I am sure you could make a woman as happy as anyone else. You have to look at all the a**holes out there who cheat on their wives and girlfriends or abuse the physically or emotionally, so these are the people who ruin lives, not people like you.
Wish I had the answers. Some of them I am still searching for myself. Life is pretty cruel to many of us for one reason or another.
I hope one day you would get the answers you are looking for... It won't be easy but being positive is the key and that is what i have always done.
Those irrational fears can only stop you for a while,.. Remember , its all in mind
I have accepted myself with my OCD. Yes. It was tough, months of depression and frustations, months of anger and emotional outburts, months of denial and pain but finally i have find some peace......
Good luck to you amy. You seem young.... One day who knows.... Maybe something magical happen...... Be optimistic.......
I hope one day you would get the answers you are looking for... It won't be easy but being positive is the key and that is what i have always done.
Those irrational fears can only stop you for a while,.. Remember , its all in mind
I have accepted myself with my OCD. Yes. It was tough, months of depression and frustations, months of anger and emotional outburts, months of denial and pain but finally i have find some peace......
Good luck to you amy. You seem young.... One day who knows.... Maybe something magical happen...... Be optimistic.......
Aww thanks. I'm not so young compared to you as I've got 5 years on you . You're extremely wise for an 18 year old guy though. That's a good trait to have and you should listen to your own advice too as you may be able to figure this out in your own mind eventually without taking any drastic measures.
I am pretty optimistic. I'm content being single in the here and now. Just like you I have issues I need to work on before I consider any kind of relationship.
I'm glad you found a level of peace. OCD is not a fun thing to live with. Ignore anyone who tries to trivialize your situation (including me earlier on).
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