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You were wise in avoiding the drugs - so many schools insist that the parent take the child for a diagnosis and then of course drugs are prescribed to make the child quiet and compliant. This drugging of our children is insidious and morally reprehensible. I'm glad that you knew when to stop the therapy (yet the therapist wanted to continue).
And of course your daughter has turned out fine. It's wonderful that you trusted your own gut feeling as to what was best for her.
When I was getting my BS, major in Psych, 40 years ago, they said that the studies showed, statistically, that it was no better than doing nothing. While it may help some individuals, my guess is that its totally ineffective. People generally don't want to make long term changes. Its just like with their eating behavior. Yes, they will lose some weight, but in the end, most gain it all back. People really don't want to change themselves, they want to change the world to the idea of the way they think it should be.
Augiedogie, what has happened in the last 40 years in psychology regarding drugs? From what I saw in the last 15 years, drugs were often tacitly encouraged in schools and in many cases there was an outright push to get the student on "medication." If you have experience in this area, I would like to hear about what you've seen. It doesn't have to be experience only in institutions.....curious about the population you worked with.
I'm not a psychologist or anything on a professional level, I've just known some folks who were kind of bonkers. I would agree that medications have helped many people become at least functional, but I don't think that really treats the demons in their head, it just reduces the symptoms and makes them able to behave in a somewhat normal manner. Unfortunately, I've heard of lots of these folks not always taking their medicine. I have no idea why. But once they stop taking the medicine, a lot of them return to the previous behavior.
I have known some people who truly need to be on medication. I have also known a great many people for whom the psych meds were only a minor help and after awhile, the side effects became very troublesome. It sounds like you knew people who had unstable personalities, very difficult life situations or both. And unless they are very honest with you, you will not know exactly why they stopped taking the meds. (Sometimes there is no reason; it's just a spur of the moment decision.) It is complicated and each person's problem/situation is unique.
When I was getting my BS, major in Psych, 40 years ago, they said that the studies showed, statistically, that it was no better than doing nothing. While it may help some individuals, my guess is that its totally ineffective. People generally don't want to make long term changes. Its just like with their eating behavior. Yes, they will lose some weight, but in the end, most gain it all back. People really don't want to change themselves, they want to change the world to the idea of the way they think it should be.
Therapy (counseling) is not always or even usually, for long term problems. I have gone when I needed help for temporary issues I was going through, and it helped me a great deal.
Therapy (counseling) is not always or even usually, for long term problems. I have gone when I needed help for temporary issues I was going through, and it helped me a great deal.
Sometimes it's for permanent change, though. I started going when I threw out my alkie/druggie husband to see if I should continue to try to make the marriage work or what. I ended up getting a divorce, but my shrink didn't tell me to--I had to get to that point myself. I did learn, however, to change things about myself that got me in that mess in the first place. I was raised with the idea that you always forgive, no matter what, and you do whatever you have to do to make everyone else happy and put yourself last. That type of person is an alcoholic's dream. With therapy I was able to realize I thought that way and to decide not to live that way anymore.
I think most women are raised to take care of others.....and there is the unspoken promise that we will be taken care of in return. Much has changed over the last 30 years and I would say that generally women are still getting the short end of the stick. We work AND we are still expected to take care of others. If a course of short-term therapy helps a woman realize that she is being taken advantage of, then I would definitely encourage it. My emphasis is on "short-term therapy."
Whenever people hear my story they immediately think that I should see a doctor or a counselor, but I don't believe they do anything special other than to make you talk and give you some placebo medicine.
This "situation" I went through sounds traumatic whenever I talk about it, but it's been a while since it happened and I learned -in some ways- to deal with it.
I don't think I should see a therapist, but has anyone ever seen one and did it really work for you?
Sometimes it's for permanent change, though. I started going when I threw out my alkie/druggie husband to see if I should continue to try to make the marriage work or what. I ended up getting a divorce, but my shrink didn't tell me to--I had to get to that point myself. I did learn, however, to change things about myself that got me in that mess in the first place. I was raised with the idea that you always forgive, no matter what, and you do whatever you have to do to make everyone else happy and put yourself last. That type of person is an alcoholic's dream. With therapy I was able to realize I thought that way and to decide not to live that way anymore.
Yes, this is when I went the first time, when I was deciding to leave my unhappy live-in relationship. The problem was that he didn't have glaring issues like alcoholism, so I felt like there was something wrong with ME for not being happy with him. For 2 years I had been miserable but feeling too guilty to do anything about it. The therapist was so vital in helping me feel validated that there were reasons for me to be unhappy.
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