Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I grew up in Palm Springs, and have always had lots of gay people in my life. I don't believe anyone chooses to be gay. In fact I've seen many people suffer and torment themselves, trying so hard to be straight when they are not. That being said, I personally know a couple of young women who suffered significant sexual abuse and mistreatment by men, when they were young girls and teens. They are now in relationships with other women. I do believe there are situations where women will gravitate toward a lesbian relationship because they feel too threatened by men.
This is a serious question, particularly with the recent social acceptance of a GBLT community, is it acceptable for guys to consider the gay/bi lifestyle if they can't or don't want to deal with the issues of rejection, approach anxiety, forever friendzoned, etc. that comes with modern dating hazards??? Like many here on this forum seeking answers to they lonely hearts?
Most of my male gay friends say they deal with all those issues. There is nothing about being gay that makes you immune to any of them. Even platonic friendships suffer from rejection, for example - sometimes one person wants to be friends more than the other.
I have an old friend (30years) who is gay and he once told me that he believes that homosexuality is lifestyle choice for many in the GLBT community.
This is very interesting, and I'd like to hear more of his take on this. Does he believe that they are choosing the lifestyle, and accepting the accompanying sexuality - or choosing the sexuality and accepting the lifestyle?
Quote:
Originally Posted by onecuriousguy
So, it is possible that many men's lack of obtaining girlfriends, getting laid, or have no/limited romantic and intimate experience encourages them to accept homosexuality as a socially acceptable alternative lifestyle to satisfy their basic human need for intimacy???
I think it's more likely that a guy might seek out a willing male to satisfy his physical urges, rather than his emotional needs. "Intimacy" is so often misused (as a euphemism for sex) that it's impossible to tell whether the person is referring to actual emotional intimacy, or merely to sexual activity.
Quote:
Originally Posted by onecuriousguy
This is a serious question, particularly with the recent social acceptance of a GBLT community, is it acceptable for guys to consider the gay/bi lifestyle if they can't or don't want to deal with the issues of rejection, approach anxiety, forever friendzoned, etc. that comes with modern dating hazards???
A guy who is considering this needs to ask himself "can my emotional needs be satisfied by a pair bond with another man?" If the answer is yes, then the man can worry about society's viewpoint, which will vary depending on each person's belief system.
But isn't it more likely that his relationships with women failed because he was actually gay and just going through the motions with the women and not that he just decided to get with dudes?
It's impossible for any of us to determine which was the cause, and which was the effect.
I think the real question is why heterosexuals are so obsessed with gays. Here's a idea: How about if everyone minds their own business and stops trying to impose their "values" on others.
well taking nothing away from those true believers that you are born gay, i think the lesbian comments are enlightening. i guess then too that bisexuality may be genetically predisposed too right?
also, is it possible for someone to enjoy the physical sexual pleasure with the same gender but isn't interested in an emotional relationship with the same? and would you consider them gay?
it's interesting because i remember that at the age i experimented with homosexuality, my libido was through the roof and for me it was just about curiosity and physical pleasure, especially after drinking or using other stimulants (rush even adult video arcades and glory holes seemed to provide a. outlet for that type of desire. and i suppose there are lots of men that just enjoy that carnal arrangement. it's just a guess though.
Pretty much. Sometimes our drives are so strong they just need an outlet, any outlet. Here's a fact, apparently 9 out of 10 sexual encounters among giraffes are males humping males. Most would have sex with females, but I guess it's just easier to do it among themselves?
I think you're being way too defensive. I hate it when gays aren't honest about some of the negative stuff that really goes on because they want to defend the gay cause. I'm glad you have been able to form good relationships, but gay men tend to break up at higher rates than either heteros or lesbians, and to pretend otherwise is to be in complete denial. I might add we can't solve a problem as a community unless we admit we've got one (and we definitely do).
There's also a high rate of suicide, drug abuse, VD and alcoholism. Pressure from hetero society might have something to do with it. The good news is just like with AIDS the gay community does a good job of supporting ourselves. My friend basically lives from support group to support group.
Count me as a gay person who doesn't quite find it offensive but who does find it annoying. The term embeds an assumption that all gays live and act the same way. I know a lot of people don't necessarily mean it in a negative way, which is why I don't usually take offense, but it is nonetheless annoying because it encourages people to think about gays in stereotypical ways on a subconscious level.
You say it is a descriptive term. If so, it's a highly inaccurate descriptor because not all gays live the same lifestyle.
Thank you for verifying that not all gay people find the term "gay lifestyle" offensive
I can understand why you (or anyone) might find it annoying if they really believe the term "embeds an assumption that all gays live and act the same way".
BUT while some people might think that, I really do not think the majority do. Clods that would believe that remind me of people who think all black people love watermelon and are afraid of dogs
I'm glad you understand that many people don't use the term in a negative way So much of our happiness or unhappiness comes from the way we frame things, you know?
If I had chosen to, I guess I could have been offended any time someone called me a "soccer mom" or a southern redneck.
I just don't personally choose to think the worst of someone or assume they meant some slight just because they used a label that may, or may not, actually describe me. I guess I'm just not in the habit of letting other people define me. I know who I am
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
even adult video arcades and glory holes seemed to provide a. outlet for that type of desire. and i suppose there are lots of men that just enjoy that carnal arrangement. it's just a guess though.
I hate it when gays aren't honest about some of the negative stuff that really goes on because they want to defend the gay cause. I'm glad you have been able to form good relationships, but gay men tend to break up at higher rates than either heteros or lesbians, and to pretend otherwise is to be in complete denial. I might add we can't solve a problem as a community unless we admit we've got one (and we definitely do).
Please quote anything I've said that you view as offensive, perhaps you misunderstood something?
