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Someone asked me how many hours I work a week and it varies from 55-65 hours.
I do need to make an appointment with both the therapist and DV counselor. When you live day in and day out in specific conditions such as mine you become accustom to it. It's painful and frightening but consistent. I hope that makes sense. Abuse is not a word I use lightly and just like everyone else, I believe that can't happen to me, or I would never allow that to happen to me because I'm a strong person. I'm learning that when it is happening to you one becomes in such a state of denial you loose sight of many things as you looking at life through a tunnel just to get through the day. It's very hard to break that pattern and it's confusing. I'm in a constant state if questioning, why, is this the right thing, what did I do to make this happen, how could I have stopped it, what more could I have done. So many questions.
Could you just work the one job... approx 40 hrs/week if you only had to care for yourself and your children? Maybe that and being free of him would lead to a happy life.
You are facing guilt that you don't own, trying to fix something that you can't, and facing fear of the unknown. How exciting! You are at a turning point in your life to something way better! All you have to do is realize the truth, decide, and then execute.
I talked about with my therapist who worked a safety plan for me. I'm trying to keep this amicable. I don't think an ambush of "I'm leaving tomorrow" will succeed at keeping this amicable as he'll still have partial custody of the kids. We need to tell the kids together. They need to see that this is a decision we both made.
I talked about with my therapist who worked a safety plan for me. I'm trying to keep this amicable. I don't think an ambush of "I'm leaving tomorrow" will succeed at keeping this amicable as he'll still have partial custody of the kids. We need to tell the kids together. They need to see that this is a decision we both made.
Oh, I can just imagine how that conversation will go. Do you honestly think he isn't going to berate you and call you a failure over this, in front of your children? As long as he knows you're leaving, I don't see any reason why you need to tell him exactly when.
Oh, I can just imagine how that conversation will go. Do you honestly think he isn't going to berate you and call you a failure over this, in front of your children? As long as he knows you're leaving, I don't see any reason why you need to tell him exactly when.
No. I don't know him, but I don't trust him. Don't be so sure he doesn't have something up his sleeve. Also, be sure to have someone there with you while you're getting your things and getting out, just to be on the safe side. Don't do it alone or with just your kids there. Have someone there that is on YOUR side and that won't take any crap from him or be intimidated by him.
What does your therapist say about telling him vs not telling him? What does your gut tell you?
My gut tells me to tell him because leaving someone in the dark is cruel. All the horrible things that have happened over the years could NEVER cause me to be cruel. Let only to the father of my children. My therapist didn't say either way just put a safety plan into action for me.
My gut tells me to tell him because leaving someone in the dark is cruel. All the horrible things that have happened over the years could NEVER cause me to be cruel. Let only to the father of my children. My therapist didn't say either way just put a safety plan into action for me.
If your gut tells you that you will be safe if you tell him, then go ahead and tell him but if you have any fears at all then don't.
If your gut tells you that you will be safe if you tell him, then go ahead and tell him but if you have any fears at all then don't.
I've been texting the DV counselor I work with all night. She said NOT to tell him.
We started talking about the kids schedules and when we'll have them as he knows I'm moving out just not when. Problem is he's been drinking heavily. I'm trying to be rational and fair and not do things behind his back but now I am afriad to tell him. He's acting strange tonight. He's always drinking so it's not the alcohol. I don't know what to do.
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