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Why don't you fly and let her get the train? Actually now that I think about it, if she really is that concerned that she'll die if she gets on a plane, and she really does love you, then shouldn't she be adamant that you don't get on the plane either?
The fear isn't rational. It's emotional. And there's treatment for it if she wants it to change.
The point remains: The airlines have done a fine job of reducing the incidence of air disasters. but they have done very little to reduce the totality when one happens.
I cannot help but believe that this decision is likely influenced by the unpleasant fact that maimed survivors would draw even greater sympathy in a civil lawsuit than would the greieving, but liklely soon-to-be-waelthier relatives of victims who perished spectacularly, but (hopefully, but not always) quickly.
And I can recognize that while auto racers regularly survive impacts at 150 MPH or more, that isn't posisble for the weight-conscious potential bombshell that is commonly referred to as a commercial airliner.
Yes, I'm fully aware of the carefully scripted "fly-without-fear" indoctrinations delivered to a select few corporate-sponsored reluctant fliers, usually by some bouncy, perky former flight attendant, But they work very hard to avoid or downplay the hard charges like the one above.
So while I recognize that while the dominance of commercial aviation for business travel is here to stay, and while I know that my own reluctance often threw a monkey wrench into career plans, I will continue to fly only as a last resort.
why don't you fly and let her get the train? Actually now that i think about it, if she really is that concerned that she'll die if she gets on a plane, and she really does love you, then shouldn't she be adamant that you don't get on the plane either?
lol.
When I was afraid to fly, I would get on the plane and while waiting for it to take off, I started to look at the people around me. I figured God would have no problem killing ME, but maybe he liked these nice people better, so I would pray for them that THEY got safely to the destination. Of course, since I was on the same plane as they were...
I hate to fly, even short-distance. I have back trouble, anyway, so I always take a muscle-relaxant that morning to help me get through it, physically and mentally. If I'm lucky I will doze off.
Why don't you both take the train and enjoy each other's company? I think it would be fun to take the train. Hubby and I did it down the east coast years ago. Enjoyed the scenery, the bar cart, fun!
I have struggled with intense fear of flying and am now in a phase (thankfully) where I can fly fairly easily. Here are some things that may help your wife, if she would like to change (a key factor):
Therapy with a therapist who specializes in anxiety disorders;
Once she can consider the idea of getting on an airplane, the three items I like to make sure I have with me are:
1) a knitting project (the tactile project - which is permitted even during takeoff and landings - is really helpful);
2) a DVD, player, and headphones (but make sure that the movie/show is lighthearted, and doesn't itself induce anxiety, fear or stress);
3) crossword puzzles - especially if you fly together and can work on them together (this is a wonderful distraction and gives you something objective to work on together).
Good luck. If nothing else, I really would urge you / her to try to the hypnotherapy CD. It's less than $20 and can make a world of difference, even if you think it won't. I bought it as a last-ditch effort when I realized that I HAD to fly back home to be with my friend whose father had just died unexpectedly.
(Regarding the drugs, I am not a fan. I used to take xanax to help with flying and if your fear is intense enough, the drug won't make a dent in it. I expect valium might be the same way. And in a way, it's even scarier when you are relying on the drug to make it doable, and then it doesn't work -- like pressing the brake pedal and having nothing happen.)
Ugh, a subject near and dear to my heart. I've heard the issue is a lack of control - that you are consciously putting your life in the hands of someone else. Even though we do this unconsciously every day (think of all the other drivers on the road!), being locked into one of those pressurized tubes really highlights this.
I have gone through the courses to get over a fear of flying. I'm an intelligent and rational person who understands how safe being on a plane is. But the inner caveman in me wants to unbuckle his belt and run screaming to the front of the plane as soon as the cabin door seals.
Which is really even odder as I love airplanes themselves, built countless models, and wanted to be an aeronautical engineer when I was growing up.
One thing that did help was flying a lot. With one business, I was making monthly flights, and after each one, I came to the realization that I wasn't going to die. I actually almost started enjoying flying!
Then I was in plane that almost crashed - landing between two thunderstorms, caught in windshear on final approach, and dropping like a stone even with the engines at TOGA. If I wasn't belted in, I would have alternated being on the ceiling, the floor, and either side of the cabin, multiple times. All the progress I made was lost on that one flight.
I've flown a few times since, and literally am convinced that every time I get on a plane, I am going to die in a horrible manner. But I also realize that driving to certain places (i.e. Europe) is quite impractical.
For long flights, I try to take a couple of Benadryl (Diphenhydramine) about 1/2 hour before takeoff. They have the effect of sleeping pills for me, and I can sometimes fall asleep before taking off (barely registering the plane is taking off). Diphenhydramine is available at your local Dollar Tree.
But if there are options other than flying, take them. Guaranteed that if she hates flying, the thought of flying will consume her for 3 days before leaving, sucking away the fun anticipation of travelling. Then the last few days of being away will be ruined, also due to the consuming anxiety about having to fly home again.
My thoughts are driving or taking the train to FLA should not be an issue for someone in NY, and you can make the trip about the journey as well as the destination.
LOL, I got a laugh out of the caveman running screaming for the door. I'm the same way. Once up in the air, hit air turbulence and my nerves go all out of whack so I avoided flying. Then I had a chance to go to France and Italy with friends but "I would have to fly". I really, "really" wanted to go so I got a script for xanax, before the trip went around visited family and friends. All was well until we flew over the UK, turbulence that went on what felt like hours but was about 15 min. Then on the flight back it was smooth as could be.
A trip to Florida, zanax time. On the way back, no zanax so one of those small bottles of whisky and I looked out the window and watched the snow. Hawaii.... zanax and on the way back (night) I took nyquile and slept.
This feeling never really goes away but I try to work around it. Oh and I don't watch any movies where the plane goes down.
Just simply remind her that fate isn't something that she can control. She's has better odds of dieing in the car on the way to airport. My husband used that tactic on me when I gave birth and it worked lol. It helps you put things into perspective. Nobody gets out alive and there's nothing we can do about it.
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I really, "really" wanted to go so I got a script for xanax, before the trip went around visited family and friends. All was well until we flew over the UK, turbulence that went on what felt like hours but was about 15 min. Then on the flight back it was smooth as could be. 
