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Old 02-23-2014, 02:15 PM
 
Location: Old Town Alexandria
14,492 posts, read 26,591,034 times
Reputation: 8971

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Miss Hepburn View Post
This is a slightly diff angle to "being offended".
I don't believe in being offended...it is in our power and control when or if
we "feel offended"...or angry or worried or jealous or a-n-ything.

If a person shouts in our face we are completely and totally in control of
our feelings and our reactions.

I do not buy the sentence, "He made me angry", for example.
No one can "make" you feel anything...we do not have buttons like a robot
for people to press. We, ourselves, allow ourselves to get triggered.

This could have been in the Buddhist section bec it also involves detachment.
It could have been in the Spiritual section bec it involves forgiveness.
We don't have a Wisdom section or Emotional Maturity section.

Thoughts?

well said.
awhile back a friend used to email me venting (this person lives 3000 miles away, approx.)
Anyway she was re-living the past and (meanwhile nothing I wrote was even responded to).

I explained the concept of "projection".

The other day at Kroger was this book: Haven't read it yet but it clearly summarizes the issue



Amazon.com: People Can't Drive You Crazy If You Don't Give Them the Keys eBook: Mike Bechtle: Kindle Store

seems many people who need validation or 'misery loves company' need an audience.
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Old 02-23-2014, 02:43 PM
 
Location: Free From The Oppressive State
30,253 posts, read 23,729,935 times
Reputation: 38634
Quote:
Originally Posted by Miss Hepburn View Post
This is a slightly diff angle to "being offended".
I don't believe in being offended...it is in our power and control when or if
we "feel offended"...or angry or worried or jealous or a-n-ything.

If a person shouts in our face we are completely and totally in control of
our feelings and our reactions.

I do not buy the sentence, "He made me angry", for example.
No one can "make" you feel anything...we do not have buttons like a robot
for people to press. We, ourselves, allow ourselves to get triggered.

This could have been in the Buddhist section bec it also involves detachment.
It could have been in the Spiritual section bec it involves forgiveness.
We don't have a Wisdom section or Emotional Maturity section.

Thoughts?
TRUTH!

That is it, exactly. When I hear, or see, someone say how offended they are, it tells me that they have no control over their emotions. People need to take responsibility for how they "feel", that's not on me.
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Old 02-23-2014, 02:51 PM
 
8,011 posts, read 8,205,599 times
Reputation: 12159
Quote:
Originally Posted by Three Wolves In Snow View Post
TRUTH!

That is it, exactly. When I hear, or see, someone say how offended they are, it tells me that they have no control over their emotions. People need to take responsibility for how they "feel", that's not on me.
So you feel you should be as crass and rude to people as possible? This is the type of thing many rude people say so they don't feel guilty for what they say or how they behave towards others. "It's not my fault, it's there's"
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Old 02-23-2014, 02:55 PM
 
Location: Free From The Oppressive State
30,253 posts, read 23,729,935 times
Reputation: 38634
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ro2113 View Post
So you feel you should be as crass and rude to people as possible? This is the type of thing many rude people say so they don't feel guilty for what they say or how they behave towards others. "It's not my fault, it's there's"
Please point out where I said, "I feel that I should be as crass and rude to people as possible". I'll wait.
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Old 02-23-2014, 03:06 PM
 
8,011 posts, read 8,205,599 times
Reputation: 12159
Quote:
Originally Posted by Three Wolves In Snow View Post
Please point out where I said, "I feel that I should be as crass and rude to people as possible". I'll wait.
It's been my experience that people do tend to blame others for being offended usually have a habit of offending a lot of people to begin with. At the very least, both the offending party and those who are to proud to speak with any tact should do some introspection and control their behavior instead of putting it all on the person on the receiving end.
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Old 02-23-2014, 03:41 PM
 
Location: Free From The Oppressive State
30,253 posts, read 23,729,935 times
Reputation: 38634
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ro2113 View Post
It's been my experience that people do tend to blame others for being offended usually have a habit of offending a lot of people to begin with. At the very least, both the offending party and those who are to proud to speak with any tact should do some introspection and control their behavior instead of putting it all on the person on the receiving end.
So you're putting words in to my mouth because of your experience with what some people tend to do?

The point of the thread is, it is YOUR responsibility to control how you feel. As was pointed out in a later post, the person got hit by a truck while she was in her car addressing a card. At first she was angry, but she took a minute and calmed down. In the end, instead of having an angry confrontation that would have destroyed her mood for quite some time after that, she CHOSE to approach the situation in a different way.

That is what the OP was trying to get across. YOU control how you react. Your feelings are YOUR responsibility. If you get mad, that IS on you.

Of course it's easier said than done, and even those who try to practice it may still fail and let their emotions get the better of them, but that does not excuse them of their responsibility in how they react. I was taught that years ago from my own parents. I didn't like it one little bit when they said how I reacted to some jack arse being totally rude to me was my own fault....but it was. I do not always do it right, but it does make your day go a whole hell of a lot better when you decide how you're going to feel about something.

Here's an easy example: I've been called a b by some people in the past. Now, I can choose to be all upset about that and let it ruin my day, or I can simply not give two spits what the person thinks about me and go on with my day because I know who I am. I made that choice. You have that ability, as well.
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Old 02-23-2014, 07:28 PM
 
Location: Southwestern, USA, now.
21,020 posts, read 19,375,370 times
Reputation: 23666
Three Wolves...I got what you said exactly...and thank you, dear.
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Old 02-23-2014, 08:09 PM
 
8,011 posts, read 8,205,599 times
Reputation: 12159
Quote:
Originally Posted by Three Wolves In Snow View Post
So you're putting words in to my mouth because of your experience with what some people tend to do?

The point of the thread is, it is YOUR responsibility to control how you feel. As was pointed out in a later post, the person got hit by a truck while she was in her car addressing a card. At first she was angry, but she took a minute and calmed down. In the end, instead of having an angry confrontation that would have destroyed her mood for quite some time after that, she CHOSE to approach the situation in a different way.

That is what the OP was trying to get across. YOU control how you react. Your feelings are YOUR responsibility. If you get mad, that IS on you.

Of course it's easier said than done, and even those who try to practice it may still fail and let their emotions get the better of them, but that does not excuse them of their responsibility in how they react. I was taught that years ago from my own parents. I didn't like it one little bit when they said how I reacted to some jack arse being totally rude to me was my own fault....but it was. I do not always do it right, but it does make your day go a whole hell of a lot better when you decide how you're going to feel about something.

Here's an easy example: I've been called a b by some people in the past. Now, I can choose to be all upset about that and let it ruin my day, or I can simply not give two spits what the person thinks about me and go on with my day because I know who I am. I made that choice. You have that ability, as well.
Why did the person call you a b? The world would be a far better place if people would stop acting like rude abrasive jerks to one another for no reason. At what point do we hold those people responsible for their behavior? Is everyone here afraid to stand up to them? It's like people who are against the anti-bullying movement. They put 100% of the blame on the receiving end of the aggression but pretty much excuse the behavior of the douchebag who goes around starting trouble. It's disgusting. I'm sorry but I'm going to speak up for myself. I refuse to be someone's doormat.
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Old 02-23-2014, 08:23 PM
Guest
 
n/a posts
We don't control what we feel. People say that, but we don't.

Our feelings/emotions are tied to human nature and no one can control that nature within themselves. Not completely.

Yes, I can make you feel certain ways if I choose to.

So can anyone.
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Old 02-23-2014, 08:45 PM
 
Location: Los Angeles
158 posts, read 305,718 times
Reputation: 236
Quote:
Originally Posted by Guest View Post
We don't control what we feel. People say that, but we don't.

Our feelings/emotions are tied to human nature and no one can control that nature within themselves. Not completely.

Yes, I can make you feel certain ways if I choose to.

So can anyone.
Lol...I'm in!! Choose a "certain way" you'd like to make me feel then go about manifesting that... If you've chosen hilarity, congratulations it's working! Lol
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