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My siblings and I were all spanked as kids. Usually by my mom as she was a SAHM. I remember my dad spanking my brother, but I don't think he spanked my sister or I. He was a really large man and I'm sure he was afraid of ACTUALLY hurting us, but my brother took after him and was a HUGE human being as well. Too big for my mom to spank for sure!
Anyway... how I feel about it now, it hasn't effected me in any way I don't think. My brother and sister haven't ever brought it up as a bad thing either. None of us have ever done anything bad in our adult lives. We're all pretty rational kind productive people. I don't know anyone in my generation amongst my friends and family who has complained about their parents giving them some good beatings once in a while when they were being bad as kids.
I don't have kids and don't plan on it, so I can't speak on whether or not I'd punish the same way...
I was spanked as a child in the early 60's and spanked our 2 boys. Spanked, not beat. You get a lot of people that grew up with parents that were drinking and taking drugs or possibly mental health problems that do beat their kids and those kids often grow up like the parents and the cycle continues. Neither myself, my brother, parents, grandparents, husband or friends that were spanked turned to violence to settle disputes. Actually, all did well and not medicated either legally or illegally or had mental health issues. I spanked the boys until they were about 10 years old and once and after that I took away their privileges and "stuff" and I always remember one time, my 14 year old son said "Mom, can't you just spank me and get it over with and not take my stuff?" Ah, I said no as I was loading up all the posters, stereo equipment, electronic games, etc. into the bags and boxes to drag to the basement until he was able to do the "right" thing. He is now a LTC in the active Army Reserve at age 36. Do I have regrets about spanking him? Not at all. Our other child has developmental disabilities and without his being spanked for his dangerous escapades, he would probably have been dead because "talk" just didn't get through and 3 locks on every window and door, didn't work. He loved time-out at school, spend most of his time there, a waste of his time, pulled out homeschooled and now a great guy that we are proud to take everywhere with us. Two happy and well-adjusted adults.
Yes I did, and it was a terrible experience for me. I was spanked bare bottomed with shoes, belts, ping pong paddles and spatulas. It taught me to fear my parents' anger and to feel shamed and helpless when I was being punished.
I still have a ton of resentment for the way they handled their anger. It felt like a loss of control rather than discipline and it was frightening.
I don't think they are the horror stories these nancies are complaining about.
That being said, I could not bring myself to hit my kid.
Getting a "whoopin'" isn't about being a "nancy". It's about having someone much bigger than you impose brute, base, ignorant stupidity onto you because they don't know anything else. It's more about getting a sense of control over powerless frustration than anything else. No one respects a Jack Booted Thug, do they?
It's as much a violation to a child as it is to an adult.
I can remember my dad spanking my brother. Also, at the high school, the Dean of Boys had that privilege and there was always a line. (late 70's/early 80's)
My sisters, though, could be really bad together. One time, my dad had it and he couldn't spank them; told them to pack a suitcase and get in the car; (I remember crying when they were leaving); my dad drove them downtown and left them there with their suitcases; drove around the block and I swear they were good for a year! (Could never do that today!)
My husband (only child) was actually beaten as was his father and he lived in fear. It wasn't until he was 16 that his mom spoke up and said "stop it" - it could be for something like turning on the TV. We learned about 4 years ago what my FIL's childhood was like and now my husband understands a bit more.
My husband would never spank either child but I slapped my daughter's hand when she was 5 and she still remembers that. Well, after telling her (and her cousin) they couldn't climb up the wall unit, they kept doing it.
I do think firm discipline has a place and it's up to the parents.
I was whipped as a child. I'm fine. I've popped my son three times in the last 6 months (he's 2 and a half). I'm not opposed to it obviously, but I only use it as a last resort.
I was beaten as a child, or as you so euphemistically put it, whupped. It was based on how bad a mood my parents happened to be in rather than how severe the offense was, and what would get shrugged off one day could get a beating the next and vice versa. It was also sometimes completely without warning...you'd make the mistake of being in arm's length when someone was pissy, and THUMP. It wasn't all that frequent and it didn't rise to the level of doing notable physical damage but it produced fear of and disdain for, rather than respect for, my erratic parents and their lack of self-control.
Theoretically I don't find physical discipline inherently objectionable but given my childhood experiences I decided it was best to choose other methods for my own use. I would never want my kid to look at me the way my siblings and I looked at our parents.
Yep, I was spanked as a kid and even paddled in school and it didn't screw me up in any way like the fear mongers would have us believe. A little paddling on the backside is totally different from beating a child.
I also paddled my two Sons when they were young, and now that they are grown they have thanked me for being a strict Dad who loved them enough to want them to learn right from wrong. Some people feel that isn't possible, but it worked for us, and that is all I care about.
Don
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Spankings
