Did you get a butt whippins growing up and how do you feel about it now? (college, girls)
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I got a few spankings when I was VERY young. I'm talking ages 3-4, and then they pretty much ceased. There was one more when I was 7 or 8 for "back talking" my mom, but my parents mostly punished my sister and me via negative punishment (i.e. taking our favorite toys/technology away or grounding us) as opposed to positive punishment (spanking).
Researchers are still debating if positive punishment is effective for children. Negative punishment, however, is proven to work.
A group of us in 4th grade gathered around the playground for a planned "boxing match" between me and my friend. We started out boxing and it quickly escalated to a fight with about ten 4th graders cheering us on and watching. The principle, an old school hard ass with a 3ft paddle proudly hung on his door walked by and caught us all red-handed. He took us all into the hallway and lined up us against the wall, paddle in hand. He paced up and down the row of us standing there scolding each one at time, stopping at us all, one by one. I looked down the row of us boys there and noticed a few with smirks on their faces thinking the entire event was humorous. The ole principle informed us, that not just the two of us fighting were getting an whippin, all the spectators were as well. How bad could it be, most of them thought judging by their expressions.
The principle called out my friend first. Had him stand in the center of the hallway and told him to grab his ankles. My friend, still with the smirk on his face, bent over. Ole principle reared back that three foot wood paddle as if he were Babe Ruth and swung with what seemed all his might. My friend first fell forward flat on his face, then jumped to his feet, grabbed his rear and ran down the hallways yelling in pain. Principle yelled at him, "get back here, you got two more swats coming." LOL. I looked again down the row of boys standing there and there were no more smirks, no more quiet laughs, just looks of shock and fear and a few even crying. hahaha.
We all got three swats and they hurt like hell. There was not another single fight the remainder of the year.
I got spanked occasionally, and I have no psychological ills from it, or carry any resentment toward my mother (my dad never spanked us, his presence was enough). I grew up in the 80s and 90s, and I didn't know anybody who lived in spank-free zone.
Spankings are a typical, normal form of discipline, have been across our history, continues to be used widely today, and despite alarmist headlines and endless psychobabble, will always be used by parents.
Yea, I got some whoppins as a kid. Then again, my father has always had anger problems; so that was probably his way of releasing some of it. I turned out more or less fine.
My mom got after me with an extension cord after I shot the neighbor with a BB gun. To this day I cannot joke about it around her, she still feels the guilt from it. I don't hit my kids, I have three well behaved boys 13, 9, and almost 4. I like to mentally abuse them, because physical wounds heal
For all of you that say you were hit as kids and yet you turned out OK, what about those that didn't turn out healthy? There may be thousands of damaged/hurt/suffering people out there.
There is a study that was published in the journal JAMA Psychiatry that seems to indicate that "Women who reported physical, emotional, or sexual abuse when they were young were more likely to have a child with autism compared to women who were not abused." I was beat and mentally abused and I have two children on the autism spectrum. Is the cost worth it? Study: Women Abused As Kids More Likely To Have Children With Autism | TIME.com
"Travis..get over here.......Travis come here right now! .....................Travis..........I said come here!................Get your little butt over here young man..............One...........Two...............T ravis..........Come here!.................I said.................."
or
"Travis, come here".............................SMACK!
I wasn't spanked, I was beaten. I will not spank my children because I fear that I will take it too far like my parents did. There were times were my dad had to pull my mom off of me. I feared my parents and felt I never did anything right. I got beat for getting answers wrong on my homework. My parents would curse us out. They never actually told me what I did wrong.
"Travis..get over here.......Travis come here right now! .....................Travis..........I said come here!................Get your little butt over here young man..............One...........Two...............T ravis..........Come here!.................I said.................."
or
"Travis, come here".............................SMACK!
Travis comes over.
The first parenting style is no more right than the second. If that is all you've got, then no wonder Travis is not responding. YOU are the one with the problem. To be a good parent, you need to use your brain. Hitting is the bully response. You have taught your child to be afraid of bullies. The second has no follow through. Perhaps, if you child does not come when called, you get your child and take them by the hand and leave. If you are not ready to leave, then you hold your child's hand or keep your arm around then until you are ready to go. Or, you find some other way to get the response you desire. USE YOUR BRAIN.
The first parenting style is no more right than the second. If that is all you've got, then no wonder Travis is not responding. YOU are the one with the problem. To be a good parent, you need to use your brain. Hitting is the bully response. You have taught your child to be afraid of bullies. The second has no follow through. Perhaps, if you child does not come when called, you get your child and take them by the hand and leave. If you are not ready to leave, then you hold your child's hand or keep your arm around then until you are ready to go. Or, you find some other way to get the response you desire. USE YOUR BRAIN.
We've tried that many times - we threaten to leave and start to leave and finally they do what they're told. The problem is it doesn't teach them anything for next time. Next time they'll just wait till we threaten and start to leave again.
It's like starting to count 1-2-3... they'll just wait till we start counting. Which is after we've asked them to do whatever multiple times already.
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"Travis..get over here.......Travis come here right now! .....................Travis..........I said come here!................Get your little butt over here young man..............One...........Two...............T ravis..........Come here!.................I said.................." 
