Tell me why I am no longer interested in my hobby

[Nighteyes]

Two things: First, an additional and, I found, quite effective resource for learning additional languages (note the plural) is Rosetta Stone. It is a bit pricey, but is more than worth it. I used their Spanish instructional program to get ready for our trip to Spain, and I have purchased but not installed their French program. Yep, our next excursion will be to France!

Now, as to why you lost your motivation (but not your interest, or you would not have created this thread): lacking a lengthy and detailed personal dialog with you, anything we write here is speculation. Based on your excellent description, and my recent experience in Spain, my speculation is that the unanticipated real-world "assessment" of your fluency sort of shook the wind out of your sails. It sounds to have embarrassed you, and hurt your feelings, rather badly.

If the above is true, congratulations! You are perfectly normal! Now pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and get back on the figurative horse that threw you. (Also, see if your colleague will speak French with you from time to time. There's nothing like a wee bit of a challenge to ramp up one's motivation.)

Best wishes!

-- Nighteyes

[Thupermoon]

As the OP, I thank you all for your insightful comments.

It is fascinating to see my little dilemma through the eyes of others, and gain a new perspective. If I was able to use this forum correctly, I would highlight and post the wisdom that hit home! I'm still learning. Thank you so much for the responses!

[mainebrokerman]

i think something triggered you into a shrinking violett,,, and thats haunting you-

dont feed a demon ,,,,crush it with confidence..

why is an interest become a win/lose/excellence and sucks???

I like cooking but im not going to measure myself against chef's that cook for a living,,thats insane

confidence, will clear any clouds from creeping in..
focus on your strengths and dont frame a hobby as a competition

[shaka aethelstan]

Who says there even needs to be a reason? People change.

[tstanton]

I may be in the same boat as you in a way. I'm learning French right now, but online, and it's going really well. For some reason, I'm going to go with fear..., I prefer learning it on my own and then once I have a good grasp of it, I'll venture out to clubs that speak it. I'm trying to go to Paris next year, so definitely wanted to get the basics down first.

The program I'm learning from is pretty awesome, it's called Rocket French. It has everything in a technology aspect that I want in learning a language, esp the MP3 accessibility, love listening on the way to work or exercising, etc... Makes my world a little more French... What I'm enjoying about it most is how the program will record your voice to give you accuracy on your pronunciations, very useful, has helped a lot. So, if you wanted to learn French in a natural way like I am, go to FrenchConversations.net | Start Talking To Strangers Like A Native.... Great info, and they let you sign up for a free trial to see if you like it or not. Good Luck and don't stop your momentum!

[themaster]

Originally Posted by Thupermoon

Ok, so I need some help with this one.


Why did I decide to stop learning French? Here are the details.


I'm a 37 yr old female, born and raised in California, but its never felt like home. I guess you're supposed to grow where you're planted, but actually I've always disliked Cali. Moving on... Everyone here speaks SPANISH. At work, people are having their own conversations in fluent Spanish. My patients speak it, its on the radio and on all the paper work that comes home from my kids' schools. Spanish is fine - my parents speak it too, but I've always wanted to learn French... I just love the sound of the language and the fun it is to speak. Learning French was my hobby.

I started taking classes. I immersed myself, and I'm a quick learner. I progressed to the point where I could translate text, but had trouble conversing because of the lack of people who speak French here. I just had my own little world, and I was fine with that. In fact, none of my friends even knew I had this hobby.

So, last month, an elderly patient of mine came in who spoke fluent French. I was so happy! The patient was wonderful, and she was as pleased as I was to find someone who spoke it as well, although at the level of a child.

Then an acquaintance of mine entered the room. She proceeded to speak rapid and fluid French to the patient, which was really delightful to watch, and I was really enthused. ...but I felt myself becoming smaller, and then I felt suddenly stupid and embarrassed for some reason, as if I had no business at all being in the room, and my hobby was actually me just being lame and ridiculous. They talked for a while, and I was no longer in the conversation at all, I couldn't follow it anymore, and then the patient didn't need me. Of course this made the most sense, and I was genuinely happy that this event occurred. But I'm wondering how and why I am still thinking about this incident a month later.

Here is the problem: I have lost all desire to learn the language, even just for fun, which is totally unlike me. I'm not so easily shelved, but somehow I find the idea that I could even THINK of getting out of my box and doing something different completely sad and overwhelmingly pathetic now.

I honestly feel like you haven't given enough information..

There is more to this than your saying..

So I'll tell you how I see you're story..

I think you were excited to use this private language you've been studying on the side to have this private conversation with the woman.. and then you had to stand their and watch as this 'private' conversation was handled by someone with more skill and that created a exclusion energy for you.. (the feeling of being needed is great.. the feeling of being a 3rd wheel isn't )

This is a quite common interaction that happens between humans.. and it sometimes brings out the emotion jealousy.. so I would let go of the belief your a lesser in this..

and maybe there is MORE to this your saying.. your hobby is to speak French..?? that's not your hobby

Your hobby is to go to france and use your abilities.. that's what I think/surmise.. perhaphs you had some sort of realization at age 37.. that wasn't gonna happen.. and yah.. I can see that passion burning out of you, if that was it.. but I dunno.. as I said "there is something" missing to your story.. how you were feeling or something..?

Originally Posted by Thupermoon

As the OP, I thank you all for your insightful comments.

It is fascinating to see my little dilemma through the eyes of others, and gain a new perspective. If I was able to use this forum correctly, I would highlight and post the wisdom that hit home! I'm still learning. Thank you so much for the responses!

regardless for your ability to quote.. it's no biggie

Originally Posted by Thupermoon

Here is the problem: I have lost all desire to learn the language, even just for fun, which is totally unlike me. I'm not so easily shelved, but somehow I find the idea that I could even THINK of getting out of my box and doing something different completely sad and overwhelmingly pathetic now.

This is bad news.. this is how beliefs are created

I can point you to some tools to help you clear your energy field.. and let go of this..? what happens is if you create a belief.. it's kind of "stuck with you for life" and you will have a negative feeling again and again.. if something triggers you to remember this "interaction"

The worst thing about beliefs is.. we make "a deal with them" cause we don't want to see it/the pain anymore.. and that goes into the unconscious.. and then is triggered as I described above..

Best to clean yourself up.. if you choose..

Originally Posted by LoveWisdom

I did notice that if I see someone else doing something better than me, that I lose interest in trying it also. I think it's something like this: I like to do it if no one else is doing it, I feel like a pioneer, like I accomplished something that others didn't. But when I observe that others already did it, it feels like I am back to a non-important, non-pioneer... so why do it at all. It's something about doing something that others are not doing...some reward in that itself.

So maybe part of your fun and motivation was to do something special, something others were not doing. It would set you apart (even if it's in your own mind). But it was taken away once you saw that others are doing it and are much better than you.

It's like if you are a senior in high school, you feel important (compared to those of lower classes) But when you go to college, you become unimportant again, you become a freshman. So even though you took a step higher in your education, you feel like you went lower in your emotions.

It's all about comparison to others, a point of reference.

Yes, nice description.. this was the same energy I was trying to describe too

[imcurious]

OP: You have fragile self-esteem, or fragile self-image, or fragile ego - your ego was bruised because you felt "less-than" and your reaction is like a childish tantrum (not trying to put you down, but explain the dynamic).

Move on to something else, but in the meantime, do some affirmations and mirror work to increase your self-esteem. Good luck.