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I'd rather be boring than a moron that labels others. Fact is we can't expect everyone to be like us, and some people are more introverted, that doesn't make them boring, it's just they way they are.
Boring people are insensitive and cannot tell what is going on with people around them. No sixth sense at all. Another big factor with boring people is lack of a sense of humor.
In my opinion, it's simple. People are boring when they focus on themselves, and interesting when they focus on you.
I don't think that is necessarily the case. It CAN be the case, as most people seem to like to talk about themselves if it is something flattering or positive (or even negative sometimes).
I've talked to plenty of people who I found what they had to say fascinating, be it for entertainment purposes or they were being informative. Sometimes just hearing about other people's life experiences are interesting to me. Bottom line is that in none of those situations was the focus on me yet I did not find the person to be boring at all.
Well I find it hard to talk about deep matters with people for some reason. I tend to find people are very opinionated and forceful about their beliefs. They usually jump to conclusions about what I'm saying (usually complex things they don't follow well, or dismiss as crap because it's so outside the realm of their perceived reality). So I just stay on a shallow level with people these days, and they assume I'm boring. The scary thing is I'm actually an exceptionally deep thinker (regarding philosophy, existential and spirituality contexts..). The only people I can only really talk to on that level with in my family are my parents (and not even because they're my parents, they are just very open minded and being their age, have a lot of life experience), certainly none of my friends/work acquaintances. But nah from what I understand, most people at work or general people I know, think I'm fairly 2 dimensional. It really makes me laugh actually about their ignorance. How people form a really inaccurate mental picture of you. People don't see you as "you", but only what they "think" you are. And it doesn't bother me. I know how I work.
Meteoman , could it be these people are doing the same thing to you that you are doing to them?
Not they are not, they are the talkative extrovert ones who try and assert their views whereas I am not.
I am not judging them as being shallow or boring, just I know they find it hard to relate to my ideas so I keep things on a low level. They gradually come to assume I have nothing to talk about and think I'm boring or shallow but as I said that is just because they never find out my deepest thoughts and they don't need to, and they'd be confused usually.
I'm autistic and pretty introverted and do not have really good social mannerisms nor make small talk naturally, and if I try to suddenly talk about deep matters with people they kind of get "weirded out" by it and try to move onto something else. So I would rather keep things simple and have them believe I'm a boring superficial person who doesn't like to talk about anything. Sometimes you have to wait for the right opportunity and people before opening your mind to them.
Boring people to me are one or more of the following:
- "Captain Obvious" types. They can't seem to think for themselves, form their own opinions. They repeat what everyone already knows. They lack the ability to be insightful. They don't really add anything of value to conversation.
- People who drone on and on. They talk in monologues. They tend to ramble. They tend to use 100 words to explain something when 10 words would have sufficed. They are lacking in their "get to the point" skills. They tend to miss or ignore social cues that indicate that others are bored. They don't understand that conversation is supposed to be interactive and multidirectional.
- People who are too self absorbed in their own world. Don't seem to take an interest in others.
- People who often reveal everything upfront, as others mentioned.
- People who are just poor at keeping others engaged. It doesn't matter what the subject is.
- People lacking in motivation, passion or zeal. They seem "lifeless". The "going thru the motions" types. They're just kinda...there.
- People who are serious and stiff all the time. Also, those who can't seem to take a joke or light harmless ribbing.
The person's interests have little to do with it. Whether he's introverted, extroverted, outgoing, or quiet also doesn't matter much. Chatterboxes are often dull to be around. A boring person IMO is boring even when talking about a subject that I'd normally find interesting or even exciting. A very interesting person can talk about almost any subject in a way that doesn't put people to sleep. Part of it is one's innate personality traits, part of it is attitude, but engaging others is a learnable skill.
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