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Old 03-26-2014, 08:35 AM
 
4,366 posts, read 3,886,663 times
Reputation: 2931

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Seriously, why can I and many other people in the nation spend hours on the internet, divulging our secrets and intimate fears with total disregard, and step away from our laptops and not be able to have a coherent face-to-face conversation with anyone without feeling quite out of place? Am I alone here, or have others felt like this?

Internet vs, In-Person:

On the internet, you can pursue your interests / With in-person conversations, you have to follow everyone else's lead about where the conversation is going to go. For me, that's confusing.

On the internet, you can be more open and honest / I've tried having honest conversations like this in person, but people tend to get uncomfortable.
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Old 03-26-2014, 08:57 AM
 
4,761 posts, read 12,303,589 times
Reputation: 7902
Talking with other people is something which must be learned. It takes practice. I recently heard on the radio that some lady in Florida was starting classes specifically for young people like yourself - teaching them how to talk with other people. And this is needed due to so much texting, etc. Also VERY important for things like a job interview!

I am delighted you have posted this. You are implying you would like to have face to face conversations with other people. I hope other young people feel the same.

Then since this seems to be a trend, you might want to approach a local community college and suggest they have a class on learning how to talk to other people face to face.

Thank you for posting your question!
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Old 03-26-2014, 09:11 AM
 
Location: Southwestern, USA
19,295 posts, read 14,675,435 times
Reputation: 19947
Kmb, hi,

Bec many of our (my) friends (not all) are busy.
Why burden them with our (my) "stuff".
Plus, it is nice to get diff perspectives here.

I work maybe 5-10 hrs a week...my close friend works 48 hrs...see?
My other dear friend of decades has had a dying daughter for 2 decades...now
receiving 8 units of blood every 3 days, they don't know where it goes!
My other friend works 40 hrs and moved to Sante Fe.
My other closest friend....needs this place to rant bec she is bothered by so much and not
to ME so much!

I don't know anyone with so many diverse ideas, say, about the Malaysian plane.

I DO talk face to face to my friends when they are not burdened with other things.
Boy, do we get things out when they can find the time!!
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Old 03-26-2014, 10:43 AM
 
4,366 posts, read 3,886,663 times
Reputation: 2931
Quote:
Originally Posted by Miss Hepburn View Post
Kmb, hi,

Bec many of our (my) friends (not all) are busy.
Why burden them with our (my) "stuff".
Plus, it is nice to get diff perspectives here.

I work maybe 5-10 hrs a week...my close friend works 48 hrs...see?
My other dear friend of decades has had a dying daughter for 2 decades...now
receiving 8 units of blood every 3 days, they don't know where it goes!
My other friend works 40 hrs and moved to Sante Fe.
My other closest friend....needs this place to rant bec she is bothered by so much and not
to ME so much!

I don't know anyone with so many diverse ideas, say, about the Malaysian plane.

I DO talk face to face to my friends when they are not burdened with other things.
Boy, do we get things out when they can find the time!!
Oh! I'm very sorry to hear that. You and other working folks have a valid excuse.
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Old 03-26-2014, 11:01 AM
 
Location: Las Vegas
3,631 posts, read 6,412,958 times
Reputation: 4343
Quote:
Originally Posted by kmb501 View Post
Seriously, why can I and many other people in the nation spend hours on the internet, divulging our secrets and intimate fears with total disregard, and step away from our laptops and not be able to have a coherent face-to-face conversation with anyone without feeling quite out of place? Am I alone here, or have others felt like this?

Internet vs, In-Person:

On the internet, you can pursue your interests / With in-person conversations, you have to follow everyone else's lead about where the conversation is going to go. For me, that's confusing.

On the internet, you can be more open and honest / I've tried having honest conversations like this in person, but people tend to get uncomfortable.
I think the difference for me is when replying via internet I have a moment to reflect or how I would like to say something. In real life conversations turn quickly and sometimes I will say something that doesn't come across the way I had intended because I feel rushed. Also IRL if you take a moment to consider something before speaking people tend to take that as a red flag that maybe you are not being up front with them.

I like that you can simply ignore people online who go off topic and only respond to those you choose without seeming rude.
Too bad real life isn't really like that.
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Old 03-26-2014, 11:14 AM
 
4,366 posts, read 3,886,663 times
Reputation: 2931
Quote:
Originally Posted by Billy_J View Post
Talking with other people is something which must be learned. It takes practice. I recently heard on the radio that some lady in Florida was starting classes specifically for young people like yourself - teaching them how to talk with other people. And this is needed due to so much texting, etc. Also VERY important for things like a job interview!

I am delighted you have posted this. You are implying you would like to have face to face conversations with other people. I hope other young people feel the same.

Then since this seems to be a trend, you might want to approach a local community college and suggest they have a class on learning how to talk to other people face to face.

Thank you for posting your question!
There is seriously something off with me when it comes to this face-to-face communication thing. I feel like I make a much better impression on people online, because I don't have to interact with people in real time, which, for some reason, is tricky for people like me. I just didn't really grow up doing things like this.

Also, though, it may not be a technology-created problem. My dad used to have a similar problem when it came to communicating with people. He worked hard and got himself out of it, but it didn't happen overnight. Shyness and communication issues seem to run in our family, but it's only face-to-face. If we lived in a world where we never had to have a face-to-face conversation, people like me would thrive.
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Old 03-29-2014, 11:21 AM
 
8,609 posts, read 4,259,552 times
Reputation: 9265
Quote:
Originally Posted by kmb501 View Post
There is seriously something off with me when it comes to this face-to-face communication thing. I feel like I make a much better impression on people online, because I don't have to interact with people in real time, which, for some reason, is tricky for people like me. I just didn't really grow up doing things like this.

Also, though, it may not be a technology-created problem. My dad used to have a similar problem when it came to communicating with people. He worked hard and got himself out of it, but it didn't happen overnight. Shyness and communication issues seem to run in our family, but it's only face-to-face. If we lived in a world where we never had to have a face-to-face conversation, people like me would thrive.
You may want to take a test on the internet to see if you are an introvert, and how much so.
It is common for introverts to feel stressed in social situations and even one on one interactions. Our minds tend to over analyze everything, and research has shown we pick up way more visual, auditory, physchological and kinesthetic information than non-introverts. We often get overwhelmed and overstimulated by all the
Information, and find it hard to relax and respond appropriately. Research has also shown introverts' brains get overstimulated by the dopamine and adrenaline increase during social interaction. Different than ADD though.

That's why you find so many introverts on these type of forums--gives us connections with others without all the body language visuals, distractions, and overstimulation.
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Old 03-29-2014, 01:28 PM
 
993 posts, read 1,371,683 times
Reputation: 2018
I think everyone is entitled to interact as they please. For those who are super introverted, suffer from social anxiety, or belong to a very specific niche, the internet offered a whole new outlet for social interaction.

Personally, I prefer face-to-face interaction. This is the only forum on which I'm a member, and I'm not even quite sure how I got started on here! For me, while the connections take considerably longer to form, face-to-face relationships just feel more solid and real.

It's whatever works for you, though.
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Old 03-29-2014, 03:31 PM
 
Location: Duluth, Minnesota, USA
7,652 posts, read 16,259,077 times
Reputation: 6792
I am perfectly capable, perhaps even adept, at face-to-face socialization, but I prefer the internet simply because of the fact that my opportunities for socialization with like-minded people are so limited. I have local friends (mainly people I graduated from high school with), but none of them are close, and encounters after a while are awkward for me (anyone else that way?). I live with my mother and uncle in a rural location a fair distance away from the city, and with the extreme and unrelenting cold of this winter I do not like to go out - and plus there would be few places to anyway. I lack the intellectual stimulation IRL that communicating over the Internet gives me.
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Old 03-30-2014, 09:48 AM
 
Location: St. Mary's County, Maryland
165 posts, read 172,233 times
Reputation: 315
I prefer the internet these days because I keep coming across people who talk over me rather than listen to me.
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