Raised by an alcoholic??? (problems, aunt, feelings, people)

[silibran]

I am thinking that your therapist feels more comfortable addressing childhood issues, than the issue you have come to him with. "To the man with a hammer, every problem is a nail."

You can ask him why he wants you to revisit things that are no longer troubling you, instead of dealing with the issue of trauma you experienced. Unless the more recent trauma caused a flashback? Or, perhaps because you had childhood trauma, your more recent trauma is more intense than otherwise? (Sounds just awful to me. I am so glad you are OK now)

I'd just ask him. See if you buy his explanation.

[Mightyqueen801]

Sometimes the therapist isn't the right one for you, as others have indicated. Remember, they work for you! Hope you find one who's effective.

[villageidiot1]

There is no harm in doing some research and compare yourself to others. There is no question that alcoholism causes a dysfunctional family but I think it is overblown by therapists. I think there can be more harm in planting the seed with a person that they have issues because of an alcoholic parent. I think it gives you an excuse for your issues instead of coming to the realization that you are 100% responsible for your life.

Children of alcoholics are four times more likely than non-children of alcoholics to develop alcoholism, but more than one–half of all children of alcoholics do not become alcoholic. In my family of four children, one died of alcohol and drug abuse, while the other three (all over age 47) have never had a drug or alcohol problem. So while growing up in a ddysfunctionalfamily of an alcoholic can cause many issues, the majority of people survive it and go on to lead normal lives. Dwelling on the fact 10, 20 or more years later will not improve your prospects.

[StAcKhOuSe]

both of my parents were alcoholics and i turned out fine.

i'm a bit jaded, anti-social, and cynical. but i don't consider that a bad thing

currently, my mother is battling pancreatitis brought on from years of excessive drinking. my father killed himself in 2011. he was drunk and strung out on heroin. i had a close relationship with my mother so this is hitting me hard

i am not sure if i need therapy. i have no idea if i even have this PTSD. but then again i think most of these disorders are made up by the medical profession because they are in cahoots with the pharmaceuticals. so i'll pass on the therapy for now. keep your hands out of my pocket!

i drink too, but nowhere to the magnitude to which she did.

[Mightyqueen801]

Originally Posted by StAcKhOuSe

both of my parents were alcoholics and i turned out fine.

i'm a bit jaded, anti-social, and cynical. but i don't consider that a bad thing

currently, my mother is battling pancreatitis brought on from years of excessive drinking. my father killed himself in 2011. he was drunk and strung out on heroin. i had a close relationship with my mother so this is hitting me hard

i am not sure if i need therapy. i have no idea if i even have this PTSD. but then again i think most of these disorders are made up by the medical profession because they are in cahoots with the pharmaceuticals. so i'll pass on the therapy for now. keep your hands out of my pocket!

i drink too, but nowhere to the magnitude to which she did.

LOL. I remember in one of the ACOA stories, a woman whose mother was an alcoholic (but she was not) said part of her job was to record and write reports of workers who were injured on the job. She said she noticed that her first thought was always "Why didn't you watch where you were going?" and that she had little sympathy for those who got hurt on the job. She realized that she got that from having a drunk mother who was always falling down and getting hurt in the house and then looking for sympathy, and she'd learned not to have any. That was probably just a survival technique for her, and it didn't ruin her life.

[McGowdog]

I think the OP is doing a lot right and has the proper approach with their mom.

I think it's wise to stay off the pills if you want to go that route. Do you have any hobbies that would interest you, going for walks around a park, etc? Sometimes light exercise can relieve built-up stress.

[Concerned Aunt 936]

Originally Posted by McGowdog

I think the OP is doing a lot right and has the proper approach with their mom.

I think it's wise to stay off the pills if you want to go that route. Do you have any hobbies that would interest you, going for walks around a park, etc? Sometimes light exercise can relieve built-up stress.

I do, I love latch hooking . I Just finished a rug that too me a year to complete, but its awesome, I get to hang it up on the wall today! So exciting!

[Fletchman]

Both of my parents were alcoholics. They were functional alcoholics for most of my childhood. I was clothed, went to school, was fed everyday and lived in a nice neighborhood.

But, from an early age, I knew something was wrong.

I was lucky in that I have a very caring extended family and had good role models. I learned to mentally disconnect.

Around 2000 my father's alcoholism got out of control. He ended up moving in with family but they couldn't help him and he eventually moved into a hotel where he died alone.

My mother, who went through seeing what happened to my father, has had 3 DUIs in the past ten years and has been in treatment centers at least three times. She married a recovering alcoholic, who is bipolar and terrible with money.

Her career as a nurse ended last year. Now, she's broke and has been told if she doesn't stop drinking, she will die.

I try to deal with it as best I can. I have good and bad days. I definitely have difficulty trusting people and can be a bit misanthropic. But, overall, I think I've dealt with it pretty well. I know I did not cause what happened and there's nothing I can do to fix it.

[Jess5]

My mom was an abusive alcoholic. My stepdad didn't beat me, and if he tried to step in, he would feel her wrath, and he was terribly whipped, so he would just look the other way. I blame him as much as I blame her. I tried to please her even after I was an adult, always wanting that mother - daughter connection, but it was not to be. When I finally cut her out of my life, a great weight lifted from my shoulders, and I realized it was one of the best things I had ever done in my life. I was her only daughter. I had 3 brothers, and she was nice to them.

I'd say you seem to have a pretty good head on your shoulders, and quite possible don't need any medication.

[Gerania]

Originally Posted by Jess5

My mom was an abusive alcoholic. My stepdad didn't beat me, and if he tried to step in, he would feel her wrath, and he was terribly whipped, so he would just look the other way. I blame him as much as I blame her. I tried to please her even after I was an adult, always wanting that mother - daughter connection, but it was not to be. When I finally cut her out of my life, a great weight lifted from my shoulders, and I realized it was one of the best things I had ever done in my life. I was her only daughter. I had 3 brothers, and she was nice to them.

I'd say you seem to have a pretty good head on your shoulders, and quite possible don't need any medication.

My father looked the other way. My mother wasn't an alcoholic, but she was raised by one. When my mother was physically abusing me, she would tell me that I should be thankful that my father wasn't sexually abusing me. Thanks mom. She wasn't physically abused by her father, but I know that he beat his sons. Her two older sisters married when they were quite young. She insisted that they hadn't been beaten or raped. I'm not sure how she could know that. Why would she have said those things to me?