Welcome to City-Data.com Forum!
U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Psychology
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 04-13-2014, 11:09 PM
 
75 posts, read 80,788 times
Reputation: 34

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by jabber_wocky View Post
I think you may body dysmorphia. Somewhere in your childhood you developed this obsession with your appearance and it is true, it isn't healthy. I speak from experience. Be careful with plastic surgery, you will always be able to find flaws. Growing up I was always told I was ugly and called "butterface". I hated being called butterface more than anything. Boys would not date me because I was ugly and a nerd. When I got old enough I began to get surgery so I would not be a butterface anymore. I am Black and Asian, which is not a common combination and I had a completely flat face and nose, the most slanted eyes with no fold, and big teeth. I looked like a very dark awkward Asian with an afro lol. Now being Black and Asian is "exotic", when I was growing up it was nothing short of confusion to others.

Although I do not look like that person I once was anymore to others around me, in my mind I still see that awkward kid. Even though I have had surgery to correct my nose, eyes and flat face, big forehead, and buck teeth, I can still find flaws. I do not like to speak about the surgeries I have had because most people view this very negatively.

I think it is a good idea to focus your energy on other things. Because this will consume you and you will find yourself spending a lot of time and money worrying about it. It pushes everyone away, because people can sense there is something wrong. You will spend your life doubting yourself. I would recommend therapy. It will be the only thing that will help you combat this issue before it becomes too big. So remember, surgery will correct the outside, but it will not correct the root of the issue, and I sense your issue may go much deeper.
I never considerd it plastic surgery more so correctional surgery. If its recommended by the military I feel like its something that can benefit me health wise.

Youre right i may not be satisfied with myself after the surgery. But I can say one thing, and thats after i got braces and have a straight smile, i am more willing to smile to people now which makes soooo much difference even though im not satisfied with myself. I dont feel like i need to hide myself AS MUCH. and I feel like if braces have made that much progress towards my self esteem, why wouldnt the other corrections do the same?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 04-13-2014, 11:18 PM
 
1,112 posts, read 1,141,372 times
Reputation: 1473
Well, since I am no physician, and have never seen you, those may be reconstructive rather than cosmetic.

But, there are no guarantees with any surgical procedure. There are risks involved, and be prepared for possible poor outcomes. Be sure you know what is involved. I had a facial procedure that backfired and one implant got infected. I nearly lost an eye.

If I known better, I would have never spent that money for a poor result, and opted for a safer procedure that would have produced a much better outcome. I am not saying fear the worst, but if it happens you need to be able to handle it. And like I said earlier, you may get these corrections and may find other issues to correct. Surgery is addictive in the hands of someone susceptible to it. Just be careful is all I am saying.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-13-2014, 11:39 PM
 
75 posts, read 80,788 times
Reputation: 34
Quote:
Originally Posted by jabber_wocky View Post
Well, since I am no physician, and have never seen you, those may be reconstructive rather than cosmetic.

But, there are no guarantees with any surgical procedure. There are risks involved, and be prepared for possible poor outcomes. Be sure you know what is involved. I had a facial procedure that backfired and one implant got infected. I nearly lost an eye.

If I known better, I would have never spent that money for a poor result, and opted for a safer procedure that would have produced a much better outcome. I am not saying fear the worst, but if it happens you need to be able to handle it. And like I said earlier, you may get these corrections and may find other issues to correct. Surgery is addictive in the hands of someone susceptible to it. Just be careful is all I am saying.
thank you for the heads up
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-14-2014, 12:01 AM
 
Location: India
90 posts, read 117,912 times
Reputation: 168
Times without number, people tell me I am incredibly attractive, but I still consider myself a 4 or 5, if anything. Probably due to emotional scars growing up and made fun of. Even when I get compliments 5 or 6 times a day, I can't wrap my wits around it. Think it is false, so I start grooming myself, working out etc. I am totally obsessed. So I know how you feel.

I am still working on it by focusing on other things like music etc. That's one way to dilute the strain.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-16-2014, 10:24 AM
 
Location: NYC
5,196 posts, read 4,648,878 times
Reputation: 7942
Get therapy. With your current mindset, even if you can change every feature to your heart's delight, you won't be happy.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-16-2014, 11:09 AM
 
Location: TOVCCA
8,452 posts, read 14,998,391 times
Reputation: 12529
Quote:
Originally Posted by Loudsco View Post
But I can say one thing, and thats after i got braces and have a straight smile, i am more willing to smile to people now which makes soooo much difference even though im not satisfied with myself. I dont feel like i need to hide myself AS MUCH. and I feel like if braces have made that much progress towards my self esteem, why wouldnt the other corrections do the same?
I will disagree with some of the other posters. Cosmetic surgery can be a really good thing. I have seen some beautiful work, and have seen it change people's lives for the better. Research study after study shows that the better a person looks, the more society favors them for schooling, jobs, relationships. Maybe it's too bad, but it's true.

As for the cost, well, I see plenty of people invest in a car to make themselves feel better, but a car of course immediately depreciates and the thrill doesn't last long. Investing in your appearance is a great investment.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-16-2014, 01:47 PM
 
Location: Ontario
723 posts, read 866,004 times
Reputation: 1733
The answer is a dose or two of something psychedelic. It worked for me. They are not recreational drugs for getting ****ed up on, they are tools for introspection and they can help you get to the root of your problems if approached in the right way. I know this is a somewhat outlandish suggestion but I thought I'd throw it out there because it can actually work.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-17-2014, 04:55 PM
 
1,112 posts, read 1,141,372 times
Reputation: 1473
Quote:
Originally Posted by nightlysparrow View Post
I will disagree with some of the other posters. Cosmetic surgery can be a really good thing. I have seen some beautiful work, and have seen it change people's lives for the better. Research study after study shows that the better a person looks, the more society favors them for schooling, jobs, relationships. Maybe it's too bad, but it's true.

As for the cost, well, I see plenty of people invest in a car to make themselves feel better, but a car of course immediately depreciates and the thrill doesn't last long. Investing in your appearance is a great investment.
As someone who has invested in cosmetic surgery, this thrill lasts for a short while too. Being happy with your own self will last longer. I seen plenty of beautiful people who are not happy. I would say being good looking does help with dating though. Depending on the field it may help with jobs and schooling. But in the hard sciences/technical fields , if you cannot do the work, it doesn't matter what you look like: you aren't getting in and no one wants to work with someone who isn't on the ball.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-07-2014, 08:47 PM
 
75 posts, read 80,788 times
Reputation: 34
Quote:
Originally Posted by el_marto View Post
The answer is a dose or two of something psychedelic. It worked for me. They are not recreational drugs for getting ****ed up on, they are tools for introspection and they can help you get to the root of your problems if approached in the right way. I know this is a somewhat outlandish suggestion but I thought I'd throw it out there because it can actually work.
did some lsd at a festival a few weeks ago, and i have did it twice last year too. Doing LSD this year didnt really make me as introspective. i would either be in a really happy mindset and have a fun ass time dancing at shows or id be contemplating my problems, trying to find an answer but still at the same crossroads.

Funny story is there were two girls who were our neighbors at the festival. me and my friend were tripping at a show just having a good ass time and those two girls started laughing at us (in a friendly way) and were dancing with us.

I had a fun time and those girls are really cute, but it kind of disappointed me in the end. Both the girls were cool, but i was only really attracted to one, and she happened to be into my friend. And once again i started to feel a little down on myself. I started thinking "of course she chose my friend, hes better looking than me". It felt kinda crappy to throw myself in that mindset again, but i luckily didnt let it ruin my night.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-08-2014, 04:47 PM
 
Location: Middle America
37,409 posts, read 53,412,743 times
Reputation: 53067
Suicide is very common in body dysmorphia, particularly when people who suffer from it pin all their hopes on getting some type of what they assume will be a lifechanging cosmetic procedure done to fix the perceived, but fictional, flaws. They spend time, energy, and money on elective surgeries, and then either decide that that didn't fix the supposed problem after all, or move on to some other perceived flaw and fixate on that. People with this condition generally always find something upon which to obsess, even when they fix something.

Treat the issue, not the symptoms. And that means understanding it.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Psychology

All times are GMT -6. The time now is 10:34 PM.

© 2005-2024, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top