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......... If you were considered unattractive and or too "rugged" by the women you liked? If you didn't have a good personality.........
And now I want to know how many men want to enter into a long term relationship with a woman that the lesbians consider to be too rugged. A woman who is unattractive and doesn't have a good personality.
Fellas?
I think that she is just going to be out of luck. But no, I don't think a lonely lesbian takes up with a man. Or a sheep. Or a pony, or anything else that she is not sexually attracted to.
And now I want to know how many men want to enter into a long term relationship with a woman that the lesbians consider to be too rugged. A woman who is unattractive and doesn't have a good personality.
It might be "innate", but there is some evidence that sexuality in women may drift and change, which I suspect could be influenced by exactly what you said, life experiences. The OP's question is kind of silly, but I think the opposite scenario is more likely.
Actually, sexuality in men "drifts" and changes at least as much. It is perhaps more on the DL. Also, for many men, it seems once they hit around 50, they often feel they don't have anything to prove, and just go with the flow. I often ask men who were married for years, who later had sex with guys, "didn't you ever think of men sexually when you were younger?," many will say things related to being confused, or they were too afraid. Many are completely put off by the stigma and the risk of compromise it could cost them. But, pretty much there are many guys that have a slight intrigue about gay sex. Some straight men develop sex addiction, usually through internet porn and will try it, but prefer women. For years too, many guys wouldn't have the slightest idea of how to meet other gay guys, and most would never risk entering a gay establishment in fear of who they might see, or blowing their cover. The internet however, created an explosion of sexual interest, even the slightly bi-curious can now find out about anything at the touch of a keyboard.
People often don't want to believe that 10% of the male population is gay; it really is a rather large percentage especially considering this is a population that is often rendered invisible. A lot of straight guys would probably never believe how many buddies they have had that have had sex with a man in spite of passing as completely straight.
OP, what a bizarre question. Let's change some of your words and see what you think ...
TO MEN WHO IDENTIFY AS STRAIGHT:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Simtropico
If you were dissatisfied with the women you were meeting or being passed up by? If you were considered unattractive and or too "rugged" by the women you liked? If you didn't have a good personality by the tastes of the women you liked? If you were fed up because you didn't fit in?
Describe what kind of man would be able to catch your interest. Is he handsome? Classic macho? More "Feminine" or Delicate? Plain looking? Individualistic? A loner? An outgoing guy? Intellectual? Cultured? Soft? Gentle? Physically strong? Rebel?
Can you define the man you would choose?
OP, how does all that sound? Would you assume that the straight man would simply give up on his attraction to women, if no woman seemed to be attracted to him? He should then just go find a MAN to be attracted to, even though he (thought he) was straight?
You say you mean this question with no disrespect, but it is to me inherently disrespectful of lesbians. I am straight, but I have a sister who's a lesbian, and she would find the idea of being with a man utterly distasteful.[/quote]
OP talks about "lonely" but sounds more like it is focused on having sex. And, I'm kind of wondering if maybe OP is terribly lonely, getting the desire for the same sex and not realizing what his body is really saying to him and that all along, his interest was indeed same sex and it isn't about being "lonely" that is causing the attraction. Most people realize that one doesn't become a homosexual because they can't find a heterosexual "mate". Good grief!
I am not sure that fluidity in sexuality is only limited to women. After all, I wonder how many men, in contrast to women, experiment with their sexuality. I would think not as many, especially considering the fact that many straight men appear to use the phrase "no homo" these days.
I'm not sure it is either, but I have seen scientific suggestion that women's sexuality may be fluid. I really haven't seen the same about men's sexuality. Although, I have heard that people may not be 100% either way and that everybody varies.
As far as people using "no homo", I've only seen girls use that. It's interesting to hear that guys do too. I assume you're talking about very young guys, younger than me anyway (I'm 28). My sister is 15 and her crowd uses "no homo", at least in social media.
Quote:
Originally Posted by zentropa
I know at my daughters' college it seems like the majority of her male friends (who came from all walks of life across the US) were comfortable exploring bisexuality, pansexuality or genderqueer orientations.
I think these days, in very socially liberal environments like small college campuses, more men tend to experiment because they know that it won't make them unattractive to the women they desire and they want to have boundary-pushing experiences.
As far as I know, I don't think your second paragraph here is correct. I'm 28, so not really in tune with the youngest generations, but maybe it's true with them? Last I knew, most women, even supposedly liberal women, were turned off by any homosexual behavior from men whatsoever and want nothing to do with bisexuals. They go so far as to mention worrying about the risk of HIV, etc. This is one interesting way to see the homophobia that exists in women.
Quote:
Originally Posted by 9162
Actually, sexuality in men "drifts" and changes at least as much. It is perhaps more on the DL. Also, for many men, it seems once they hit around 50, they often feel they don't have anything to prove, and just go with the flow. I often ask men who were married for years, who later had sex with guys, "didn't you ever think of men sexually when you were younger?," many will say things related to being confused, or they were too afraid. Many are completely put off by the stigma and the risk of compromise it could cost them. But, pretty much there are many guys that have a slight intrigue about gay sex. Some straight men develop sex addiction, usually through internet porn and will try it, but prefer women. For years too, many guys wouldn't have the slightest idea of how to meet other gay guys, and most would never risk entering a gay establishment in fear of who they might see, or blowing their cover. The internet however, created an explosion of sexual interest, even the slightly bi-curious can now find out about anything at the touch of a keyboard.
People often don't want to believe that 10% of the male population is gay; it really is a rather large percentage especially considering this is a population that is often rendered invisible. A lot of straight guys would probably never believe how many buddies they have had that have had sex with a man in spite of passing as completely straight.
It sounds like you're describing gay men who never came out of the closet. I don't doubt that plenty of straight guys secretly have had sex with other guys when they were young, dumb, and their sex drive was very high, but I just don't see it happening so much when mid are older - that to me seems to suggest they're simply gay or at least truly bisexual.
From what I've seen, gays have it easy meeting people for sex, much easier than straight guys have it meeting women. I suppose that's why 1-in-5 gay/bi men (20%!) in America's 21 largest cities supposedly have HIV. I know gay people. I know how they are. I've never once thought they had a difficult time meeting others. In a way, I'm envious of how easy they have it, but ultimately don't think it's a good thing, and not just with disease being rampant.
OP, what a bizarre question. Let's change some of your words and see what you think ...
TO MEN WHO IDENTIFY AS STRAIGHT:
OP, how does all that sound? Would you assume that the straight man would simply give up on his attraction to women, if no woman seemed to be attracted to him? He should then just go find a MAN to be attracted to, even though he (thought he) was straight?
You say you mean this question with no disrespect, but it is to me inherently disrespectful of lesbians. I am straight, but I have a sister who's a lesbian, and she would find the idea of being with a man utterly distasteful.
Both I find disrespectful to lesbians and straight males. Maybe the OP is trying to prove a point a point at how condescending both threads actually are.
OP, what a bizarre question. Let's change some of your words and see what you think ...
TO MEN WHO IDENTIFY AS STRAIGHT:
OP, how does all that sound? Would you assume that the straight man would simply give up on his attraction to women, if no woman seemed to be attracted to him? He should then just go find a MAN to be attracted to, even though he (thought he) was straight?
You say you mean this question with no disrespect, but it is to me inherently disrespectful of lesbians. I am straight, but I have a sister who's a lesbian, and she would find the idea of being with a man utterly distasteful.
I could probably go for a man in such a scenario despite the fact that I appear to be exclusively or almost exclusively sexually attracted to women.
1. I'm not sure it is either, but I have seen scientific suggestion that women's sexuality may be fluid. I really haven't seen the same about men's sexuality. Although, I have heard that people may not be 100% either way and that everybody varies.
2. As far as people using "no homo", I've only seen girls use that. It's interesting to hear that guys do too. I assume you're talking about very young guys, younger than me anyway (I'm 28). My sister is 15 and her crowd uses "no homo", at least in social media.
1. Yes, but the thing is that I am not sure how many males have explored their sexuality in comparison to females. I don't know, but the feeling which I personally get is that it might be more acceptable for females to explore their sexuality than for males to do the same.
2. I have actually never heard of girls using that before. As for guys, Yes, I am primarily talking about young guys, as in guys in their teenage years and in their 20s. These are the guys which I probably interact with the most, so I don't have as much knowledge and/or insight about the older generations of guys.
What is amazing is the magnitude of stubbornness people often have with their understanding of human sexuality. People do not acquire their sexual orientation based on their life experiences. Sexual orientation is innate.
The science is not entirely clear on that. It is likely that one's orientation is based upon genetics and life experiences.
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