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Old 12-12-2007, 01:02 PM
 
Location: southern california
55,237 posts, read 72,415,357 times
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cliques are not going to disappear the only thing that can change is your skill in dealing with them. as to gossip bad stuff. however they can be useful. much cheaper than advertising, just figure out what you want broadcast and buy miss busybody some coffee.
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Old 12-12-2007, 02:40 PM
 
Location: Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
919 posts, read 2,858,314 times
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I always had this problem when I worked out of the home, I brought it up cause after I move, I am returning to work after being a SAHM for 10 years here...I am going to work during the day while my child is in school, when we move...And I am scared, cause I never been too good at office politics and how mean some people can be...I am just very sensitive..been this way my whole life and I doubt i could ever change here....So I need to figure out how to not cry or get upset...cause it always happens to me, in the workplace...I get the cold shoudler...
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Old 12-12-2007, 02:53 PM
 
4,997 posts, read 13,542,664 times
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I used to live in a town of 200. A cow town of sorts. My husband would go to town and come back with the most interesting gossip. It wasn't mean or vicious; it was just fun stuff that he would learn. Then I met a woman there, and she began to tell me the vicious stuff, and it would really bother me because I was enjoying hearing about these country folks from my husband, kinda like Prairie Home Companion, and didn't want the dirt. One day she told me I should join the Women's Club because they have the best gossip. I wouldn't join, but I didn't tell her why. I have known of men that loved to gossip, and it was also vicious. I just don't care to be around people that have bad things to say about people.

Seaharbour, I don't know what you can do about the office. I don't even know what I would do. It isn't a place where you can really back away from people. It is their problem, not your's, but I doubt if this will help. I guess I would just keep working and not pay much attention to them.
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Old 12-12-2007, 03:30 PM
 
4,997 posts, read 13,542,664 times
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Seaharbour, I am sending this to Relationships forum. I think many there may have a better idea how to handle office gossip.
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Old 12-12-2007, 07:01 PM
 
Location: Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
919 posts, read 2,858,314 times
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(((Thanks))) I appeciate you sending them over here, they do belong here, i am sorry for posting them in the wrong area...be well
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Old 12-12-2007, 09:07 PM
 
12,620 posts, read 17,690,078 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Seaharbour View Post
I have noticed lately that some like to gossip and if you do not feel that is morally ok..you get cut out of the herd like packs of women who like to do nothing but..talk behind peoples back and follow the herd of sheep that they belong in...

I think its sad that so many women today, osterize their sisters for not wanting to attack and prey on the odd woman out..why is that?

Can anyone shed some light for me on this?
Oh I so completely agree! Some women can be so vicious and get such a kick out of gossiping.
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Old 12-13-2007, 06:59 AM
 
Location: the show-me state
672 posts, read 1,929,590 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Miborn View Post
Oh I so completely agree! Some women can be so vicious and get such a kick out of gossiping.


I'm a man and I work at night pretty much alone. Still, if I start out thru the plant for some reason, usually one or more MEN will stop me and start in about did you hear about such and such, or so and so. A lot of men are just as bad as some women are. [/i]
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Old 12-13-2007, 07:09 AM
 
Location: Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
919 posts, read 2,858,314 times
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Maybe women seem more cruel since I always had bad expereinces with them more in my life..I actually like men better, but I am sure they can too be just as catty, maybe I never seen that and that is why I think women are worse, I almost always had male friends and they were the ones who were never jealous of me...
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Old 12-13-2007, 07:52 AM
 
Location: In a tiny, noisy, frigid cube
200 posts, read 794,377 times
Reputation: 142
Quote:
Originally Posted by Seaharbour View Post
Maybe women seem more cruel since I always had bad expereinces with them more in my life..I actually like men better, but I am sure they can too be just as catty, maybe I never seen that and that is why I think women are worse, I almost always had male friends and they were the ones who were never jealous of me...
Oh, Seaharbour, I wanna hug you!

This is a fantastic topic, as I see so much of it in my workplace that it's ridiculous.

I have worked only at 3 places (long-term) in my short working career, all at very different places. I can tell you that no matter where you go, there are people like this. Right now, I'm working for a small agency that's predominantly male, and you'd think we were back in high school. I have never heard so many grown men talk about who did what with whom, and why so-and-so is a backstabber, and how Mr. blah blah is a suckup...*sigh.*

It took me almost two years to become a victim of the gossip. And I straightened it out right away with the "L" word.

Lawsuit.

I won't have my character defamed because someone doesn't like who I associate with. It's ridiculous. I was accused of having a romantic relationship with a coworker because we were seen by a gossipy coworker having lunch together. Something that both of our spouses were completely aware of and okay with. But the people that gossiped about me didn't like the person I was eating lunch with, so I became a target as well.

So, dear SeaHarbour, my advice to you--don't get too close to anyone until you're sure if they're trustworthy people or a vicious gossip! (Which, if it's the latter, you'll know that in the first 3 weeks!)

Last edited by sedie80; 12-13-2007 at 07:53 AM.. Reason: highlighting!
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Old 12-13-2007, 09:25 AM
 
7,139 posts, read 12,894,180 times
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I have experienced many different worksites (is the nature of my job), and I can tell you it is the same everywhere, nasty, mean, backstabbing females, so much worse than men. Is just an axiom. Not to say men don't gossip as well, and probably can do more real damage as they are still usually in the managerial positions, etc. So I breeze in for a few months and am gone, thankfully. I feel for those decent people who are stuck in these places indefinitely.
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