Should women start dating "kissless virgins" for the protection of society? (men, college)
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I consider this discussion about men's struggles, making female struggles mostly irrelevant. I suspect women aren't involuntarily on the romantic sidelines more than they were in the past, whereas there are plenty of decent males (a la the Steve Carrell movie) struggling today who wouldn't have had much trouble decades ago.
I think you probably see everything as being about men's struggles. You seem to believe that the only role for women is to please men. You blame feminism for men's dating ills without any examination of what conditions were like for women before the feminist movement. In general, your lack of insight into all things female is astounding, and you've resisted every attempt on here to help you understand women in a way that would actually help you find a mate, or at least a woman to date.
As far as your continued desire to change society, I'll tell you this. I have a teenage daughter and I encourage her to dress modestly and be kind to everyone. I've even told her that when she starts dating to not discount the nerds, because they often grow up to be really great men. But I would never, ever, tell her that she needed to think in terms of making herself more pleasing to men, or to date a man she doesn't like, because some men are frustrated that they can't get a date. It's hard to even type that, it's so offensive to me.
The list grows. Now I believe women exist to please men or that I personally insist on a 9 or a 10. Sure, sure.
I never said a woman should date a man she doesn't like. But if they might be a good match (including on looks), she shouldn't quickly snub him as unimpressive because, to imagine a taller version of Elliot Rodger, he's not "hot." Women who are normal-looking (quite fat isn't "normal") but not "hot" don't have the problem of total disinterest from decent men. I have never come across a counter-example. What I have seen (actually, read), maybe including some studies, is that women were just as satisfied in relationships decades ago as they are now. I didn't just pull it out of my butt that life wasn't hell for women then.
The reason I didn't say men should try to be more sympathetic to women is because, based on what I know of men throughout time and place, there's never been much sympathy for women.
I frankly could care less if I have a girlfriend. It means nothing to me as a man. A career, a house, a job, a hobby, morals...those mean more to my status as a man than having a girl tell me that I'm datable.
The reason I didn't say men should try to be more sympathetic to women is because, based on what I know of men throughout time and place, there's never been much sympathy for women.
That's your reasoning?
Maybe it's time to educate them then and teach them something about fairness and empathy.
Decent men already do that though. Certainly a good man can sympathize with a woman's problems. We need more of them, so it's actually a bad thing if men cannot or will not care about what women actually want or need.
Because it just is... is a terrible copout and way to excuse and continue bad thinking and behavior.
The list grows. Now I believe women exist to please men or that I personally insist on a 9 or a 10. Sure, sure.
I never said a woman should date a man she doesn't like. But if they might be a good match (including on looks), she shouldn't quickly snub him as unimpressive because, to imagine a taller version of Elliot Rodger, he's not "hot." Women who are normal-looking (quite fat isn't "normal") but not "hot" don't have the problem of total disinterest from decent men. I have never come across a counter-example. What I have seen (actually, read), maybe including some studies, is that women were just as satisfied in relationships decades ago as they are now. I didn't just pull it out of my butt that life wasn't hell for women then.
The reason I didn't say men should try to be more sympathetic to women is because, based on what I know of men throughout time and place, there's never been much sympathy for women.
But it's ok for men to snub her if she's overweight, or just not hot enough? They might be a good match in spite of her short comings.
Yup. When you only look at the 9's and 10's, there just aren't enough women to go around. But they don't see that it's their fixation on having a 9 or 10 on their arm that creates the situation in the first place FOR BOTH GENDERS. They won't date a 5 even though they are a 5 because a 5 just isn't good enough so we end up with men and women who end up lonely because of their choice but they don't see that. They're too busy feeling sorry for themselves to see that they are where they are because of their own choices.
You act like it's a matter of choice. In fact, a guy who is a 5 can't flip a switch that makes him attracted to women who are 5s. Likewise, a woman who is a 5 can't flip a switch that makes her attracted to a guy who is a 5. Yes, it's a competition over the portion of society that is generally considered attractive.
You act like it's a matter of choice. In fact, a guy who is a 5 can't flip a switch that makes him attracted to women who are 5s. Likewise, a woman who is a 5 can't flip a switch that makes her attracted to a guy who is a 5. Yes, it's a competition over the portion of society that is generally considered attractive.
Actually it is a choice. At the end of the day, the 5's end up with the 5's. Yes, everyone tries to get the best they can but the best we can get is really equivalent to what we have to offer. Eventually, adults figure that out. I knew by the time I graduated from high school that the 7-10's were off limits.
And I disagree with you regarding men being able to change their attractiveness. Men have far more power to change their attractiveness level through success and education than women do. Men who work hard and are successful do increase their attractiveness to the opposite sex. One of the things women want for their children is security. If she can't provide it herself, a man who can becomes more attractive (this includes caring for children which is why babies are chick magnets. Dss used to borrow dd#1 to pick up women...worked like a charm every time. Puppies work too because you are demonstrating that you care for defenseless things. Unfortunately, too many men now use these as a ruse.). Most women are shopping for a potential life partner not just a roll in the hay. They look at the content as well as the cover. A guy who is successful can go for younger women of higher ranking because of his success. There is no female equivalent of this. Things like success and education don't make us more attractive to most men. Women holding babies and puppies are not more attractive to men. Men have far more control over attractiveness than women do. For us, it's physical appearance. Hence the make up, weight loss and plastic surgery industries. I've often wondered how different my life would have been if I'd gone under the knife at 18 and had my face improved. What difference would reducing my chin (very prominent) and giving me a little button nose have made?
I talked earlier about a game we played in a psychology class in college where we were given numbers 1-10 and then told to pair up with someone to make the highest total possible. The 10's ended up with 10's, the 9's with 9's and so on down the line. This is how it works in pairing up by attractiveness too (not just looks here but everything that makes one attractive to someone else). If you're a 5 you really need to stop trying to get 10's. It's not likely to happen unless you're very rich and then you'll have your choice of 10's who only want your money.
Last edited by Ivorytickler; 06-16-2014 at 05:23 PM..
"Disgruntled young males is the main phenomenon behind the growth of radical Islam.
I will have to admit it's always men that commit the majority of crimes/violence. Every country you go to it seems there is always a rise in disgruntled men. I'm never worried about walking past a group of young females. Males on the other hand makes me more cautious.
But it's ok for men to snub her if she's overweight, or just not hot enough? They might be a good match in spite of her short comings.
Why are the rules different for men and women?
The rules seem to be, you must feel sympathy for the men, and change yourself to please them, because they're unhappy. No, don't bother asking the guys to have sympathy in return; they don't have it for you and won't be starting now.
Oh, and you must start dating guys you don't find hot, while you also realize that if you yourself aren't hot, these same guys would never lower themselves to date you.
But it's ok for men to snub her if she's overweight, or just not hot enough? They might be a good match in spite of her short comings.
Why are the rules different for men and women?
This. This is the crux of the issue. ER was extremely choosy about the kind of woman he wanted. Generally, the men like him wouldn't be interested in about 70% of the women out there, or more. So the OP's title question is moot.
Last edited by Ruth4Truth; 06-16-2014 at 08:12 PM..
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