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The question arises from my own son's suicide. Not all suicides are driven by the same force I should think. Some suffer depression, some suffer extreme anxiety. But is there a common driving force or are there several unrelated or perhaps related driving forces?
It has always struck me as extreme when someone jumps of a high building. What anguish did they suffer to make them take that step? Why not just take an easy and painless measure? Would someone choose to end their life simply because life sucks and they see no hope for improvement? I'm still trying to understand the enormity of it. I think I understand my son's case but not what triggered it at the critical time (not fully anyway).
Stress, feeling like they have no options, feeling marginalized, feeling hopeless and helpless, feeling like no one understands, pressures to succeed, pressures to survive.
I see suicide as a dysfunction in society. Something most people wouldn't gravitate to, but an end result of someone trying to seek a solution out of very oppressive existence.
On the bright side, I think when someone has enough emotional and social support, then suicidality is less frequent. Cultures that seem to instill a sense of togetherness, family, quality time, and less about monetary demands seem to do well with maintaining a sense of satisfaction and quality of life for its individuals.
The culture of workaholism and selfishness has its inherent detriments.
ty. i am autistic (aspergers, high functioning with learning disabilities). I would rather live alone then live with someone and their habits. If I ever got married we would probably have to live in 2 places. I don't know. I been trying to get dates since my 20s, I'm 34 but none of the men want to date me. That is why I feels like an alien who is not meant to be here.
Everybody needs a mate. There is no man as outspokenly promarriage as I am. Im 63 and Ive been trying to find a woman who will marry me oh all my life. I dont consider things like aspergers as being important, got aspergers myself. Im looking for the only important quality in a woman which is a woman who is positive minded enough to say I do. Im sure there are other men like me, I dont know how you would find them but be open to a man who talks and thinks like me.
what drives them? in my case self loathing.
but i didnt do it, i just kept on loathing.
for some cultures there is no shame in suicide, Japan and China to name a few.
You are alive when depressed because you hope things (or 1 particular thing) will get better. Lose hope, you might as well kill yourself. And you do (if you have the energy. )
The question arises from my own son's suicide. Not all suicides are driven by the same force I should think. Some suffer depression, some suffer extreme anxiety. But is there a common driving force or are there several unrelated or perhaps related driving forces?
It has always struck me as extreme when someone jumps of a high building. What anguish did they suffer to make them take that step? Why not just take an easy and painless measure? Would someone choose to end their life simply because life sucks and they see no hope for improvement? I'm still trying to understand the enormity of it. I think I understand my son's case but not what triggered it at the critical time (not fully anyway).
I am truly sorry for your loss...
As someone that at one point in my life faced the feeling of not wanting to go on I can say it was for a variety of reasons. Ultimately deep down inside me, though, there was this core "hope" that things could get better. So that kept me trying... At another point it shifted to - "I refuse to give in". From that point on things changed and I turned my life around.
I don't think you can really understand what is in another person's head and makes them finally end their life. Their reasons will vary and it is a choice they made. It can be low self-esteem, anger, loss, who knows...
All we can do is come to terms with it and hope that they are at some sense of peace. And that you can come to terms with it.
I had a close friend commit suicide 13 yrs ago when I was in high school.
She had been suspended for cutting class. We had English class together and since our class before that were right next to each other we’d wait and walk together. I remember that day waiting for her and then thinking “that’s right she was suspended” so I go to class by myself.
I get to class and a few people are there crying. That’s when someone told me “Alex committed suicide last night”. I was in shock.
Rumor has it, her father planned her viewing at a funeral home that was extremely far for us so none of her friends would go. (It was far but luckily, they got a bus to take us)
Anyways, whenever someone went up to see her, her father would get up and tell us to go sit down.
Later, it came out that he was sexually abusing her. He was a dominating macho male type person. Her older sister moved out as soon as she was 18 because he was molesting her as well. She was actually trying to get custody of my friend to get her out of that household because her mother wasn’t doing anything to stop him. She called the cops on him numerous times and nothing. His wife feared him. My dear friend couldn’t take it anymore and she hung herself in a house they were building next to hers. Her mother found her and she was still alive but died en route to the hospital.
I was reading the obituaries about a year ago and came across his death notice.
I had a close friend commit suicide 13 yrs ago when I was in high school.
She had been suspended for cutting class. We had English class together and since our class before that were right next to each other we’d wait and walk together. I remember that day waiting for her and then thinking “that’s right she was suspended” so I go to class by myself.
I get to class and a few people are there crying. That’s when someone told me “Alex committed suicide last night”. I was in shock.
Rumor has it, her father planned her viewing at a funeral home that was extremely far for us so none of her friends would go. (It was far but luckily, they got a bus to take us)
Anyways, whenever someone went up to see her, her father would get up and tell us to go sit down.
Later, it came out that he was sexually abusing her. He was a dominating macho male type person. Her older sister moved out as soon as she was 18 because he was molesting her as well. She was actually trying to get custody of my friend to get her out of that household because her mother wasn’t doing anything to stop him. She called the cops on him numerous times and nothing. His wife feared him. My dear friend couldn’t take it anymore and she hung herself in a house they were building next to hers. Her mother found her and she was still alive but died en route to the hospital.
I was reading the obituaries about a year ago and came across his death notice.
Why do women marry bums like that one. There are good men I'm a good man going it alone.
I had a good friend back in California, when I lived in Paradise up in Butte County who ended his life, and I was working in my garage when I heard the shot. He had been in a great deal of emotional pain and was clearly deep in suicidal ideation before he did it. None of us could talk to him, he would just rant on and on why he needed to end it. He'd lost his job as a fire captain and just could not imagine himself as anything else. He wasn't capable of re-inventing himself and was committed to ending it. Aside from his professional loss he'd endured great relationship troubles, and from his view there was no point to life and far too much pain in going on. He even tried to get me to loan him a gun, and of course I refused, but he got one anyway elsewhere.
I think he just lacked the strength to go on, and the ability to start over, and re-invent his life. He was a deeply emotional man, and deeply wounded by life. Years later I can only think he was more susceptible to the lure of suicide than the rest of us, and saw it as the only escape from the pain he was living with. I don't think it's so much what drives people to suicide, as how susceptible they are to it. My friend lacked the inner strength to bear up and endure, and caved in to despair. So very sad, he was such a great guy, and that was the very worst way to lose a friend.
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