Are you born shallow or created by your environment?

[CSD610]

Originally Posted by ramkobe

I think I'm very shallow when it comes to girls. If an ugly girl is interested in me and starts talking to me, I completely ignore them. But if the girl is beautiful, I will talk to them.

My mom says when I was little, I would tell kids that they couldn't come to my birthday party because they were too ugly and only invited the pretty ones.

Why am I so shallow?

You do realize not every female on the planet thinks you are the cutest male she's ever seen right?
One of these days someone's Aunt is going to lean over and tell them how ugly "you" are and you are going to hear it. How do you think that is going to feel?

Your Mother did not do you any favors allowing you to behave that way as a child.
Your behavior has been learned from the humans around you.

[3rdGen SFan]

Originally Posted by ramkobe

I forgot to mention that I have an aunt who is very judgmental when it comes to looks. She will often whisper to me if someone is really ugly. For example, we were at a wedding when she whispers to me that the bride's family were really really ugly. Also, I remember spending a lot of time at her house when I was little..

So could I have gotten the shallowness from her?

It's possible, if you can't find any other reason.

My dad is very shallow and sometimes rude about it. He's usually misogynistic making rude remarks about women's looks saying stupid stuff like "her face can stop a clock" and has even made rude remarks to women about their weight.

I used to be shallow, too, but not deliberately rude like my dad. In my teens, I rejected some girls as girlfriends based on their weight and looks but without telling them why... except a friend of mine stupidly told 2 why I rejected them, so I ended up really hurting their feelings and regret it.

Not that I always acted shallow back then, I still was a (platonic) bf to some girls I didn't think were physically attractive, but it was because some of my friends didn't say anything about their looks. Back then, concerns about fitting in drove me to be shallow, but I changed when I reached my 20s. I regret having been shallow, but I wasn't a bright kid/teen and went along with the crowd to be accepted.

[Teckeeee]

Nurture over nature from my exp.

[ChicagoMeO]

i know some shallow people. they were just like their shallow mother. seems like the parents pass off their bad traits on the kids.

The guy above is doing as he was taught. If he wants to change that, he has to change his behavior, attitudes, or at least how he reacts to the attitudes he gets in his head. or he may have to find a person who is "ugly" who shows him that the person is REALLY beautiful and that will destroy the notion that his mother imbedded in his head.