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I think you're born that way. Even when I was really little, I loved to go off by myself and play. I'd sit in my grandparent's attic and play on their ancient typewriter for hours. I always preferred my own company and could easily entertain myself. That said, I agree with those who say OP is confusing introversion with shyness, as I am an introvert but not the slightest bit shy, in fact I'm very outgoing around people and yack to strangers in the supermarket line, etc. . It's just I prefer my own company much of the time.
I claim that the vast majority of introverts were not born that way. Most people who end up as introverts were extroverts earlier in their life. Usually something occurs that brings on introversion. When I have deep conversations with fellow introverts, I usually learn that they wish they could be more social but are held back by some type of insecurity.
Discuss.
Introversion has nothing to do with insecurity. Aside from your original question of whether you are born an introvert or develop into one, your description seems to insinuate that being an introvert is a 'problem', one that exists because someone is insecure and/or has some form of social anxiety which is simply false.
By the words you use, you also seem to think being an introvert means being unsocial which isn't accurate at all. I am a strong introvert but am social. Don’t confuse introversion with shyness or reclusiveness. They are unrelated. I suggest you do some reading/research on human personality theory.
The tip of the iceberg via Jung: Where do you put your attention and get your energy? Do you like to spend time in the outer world of people and things (Extraversion), or in your inner world of ideas and images (Introversion)?
Extraversion and Introversion as terms used by C. G. Jung explain different attitudes people use to direct their energy. (MyersBriggs.org)
It's a biological personality trait, i.e. we are born this way. Introverts feel highly stimulated and tend to be very aware of their surroundings, meaning any sensory and social stimuli is perceived much more intensely. Introverts feel drained by social situations and stimulus, while extroverts feel energized. This is not something you "choose" or can work your way out of.
Shyness and social anxiety are two different things entirely and may be formed from experience.
It's the old nature vs nurture question. I believe people are born either an introvert or an extrovert. We all have a phenotype (inherited observable characteristics such as hair and eye color) and a genotype (other inherited characteristics). Some people are naturally talented in math or music...or they might be prone to certain illnesses, etc. That is their genotype. I believe that personality is one of the things we inherit. Just because they have not yet identified the specific genes for these things does not mean that they do not exist.
Like others have said, some people go through certain traumas growing up and end up with social anxiety disorder or shyness. Those are environmental factors rather than inherited factors.
Most people (at least the extroverts) do not understand what introversion is. They tend to believe that it is the same thing as shyness, or being afraid or people and social interaction. It's not.
** A "shy" person avoids interaction with others because it causes them anxiety. As someone said earlier, many (or most) shy people would prefer more interaction with others, but simply can't.
** An introvert avoids interaction with others because he/she does not want interaction with others. It has nothing to do with being shy, necessarily.
Of course, there are shy introverts. But I'd say the norm is that an introvert (if we are discussing only that quality) interacts with others just fine--perhaps even eloquently. It's just that they have no interest in doing so except in a utilitarian capacity.
Personally, I've been introverted from as far back as I have memories. I've thought about it over the years and I have my own little theory about what the basic difference between an introvert and extrovert is if we could distill it to one point: an introvert's world is internal, and an extroverts world is external. So an introvert commonly looks inward for nearly everything, and an extrovert commonly looks outward for everything.
But again, there is no cause and effect between shyness and introversion. They are two different things. I'm an introvert in the extreme. Yet my job has me standing in front of people and talking all day. I'm certainly not shy, although many people might mistakenly think I am in the course of my private life. I interact with others (when required to do so) just fine. But I'm a very private person and I find that for the most part "common" interaction is a waste of my time that could better be spent doing other things that are of more interest to me. I've always hated extended "BS-ing," sessions, mainly because they are time vampires.
So you'll find that this introvert isn't shy at all and interacts with you just fine... but simply prefers being off alone somewhere doing my own thing.
I think you're born that way. Even when I was really little, I loved to go off by myself and play. I'd sit in my grandparent's attic and play on their ancient typewriter for hours. I always preferred my own company and could easily entertain myself. That said, I agree with those who say OP is confusing introversion with shyness, as I am an introvert but not the slightest bit shy, in fact I'm very outgoing around people and yack to strangers in the supermarket line, etc. . It's just I prefer my own company much of the time.
Yep, good post.
Except I generally don't "yack" with people of my own accord. I certainly will if someone strikes up a conversation. I'm not rude or anything like that at all. I am friendly. But as you said, I prefer isolation and my own company and always have. I was just like you as a kid.
I ascribe to the idea that introverts lose energy in social interactions while extraverts gain energy from social interactions. Under this definition, I'm an introvert. It doesn't mean I don't enjoy social interactions or that I'm inept at them, I'm actually good at them, but I have to limit them or my energy gets absorbed.
I generally ascribe to the notion one is born either an introvert or extravert, however, I have a son that was introverted but did a 180 degree change from 4 yoa to 18 and became an extreme extravert...challenging my previous opinion.
I have always been an introvert. I do not crave social interaction and I'm not afraid of it.
My mother requested that I see a therapist about my introversion because my whole family are raging extroverts. After 10 visits with the therapist he informed me that I was one of the most secure individuals that he has ever met.
For those that are familiar with EQ (emotional quotient), I scored a 165. No one at my company scored higher.
From my view as an introvert, I see extroverts as insecure and needing attention all the time. They can't eat alone, shop alone, drive anywhere alone, etc.
At my company, there were very few extroverts, mostly introverts. The extroverts were so depressed because no one would talk to them. I would always try to stay away from the babblers (extroverts). They could talk non stop and never say anything.
Introverts can say more in one sentence then an extrovert in a chapter.
I ascribe to the idea that introverts lose energy in social interactions while extraverts gain energy from social interactions. Under this definition, I'm an introvert. It doesn't mean I don't enjoy social interactions or that I'm inept at them, I'm actually good at them, but I have to limit them or my energy gets absorbed.
THIS. This is one of the primary examples of true introverted personality experience and has been covered extensively in research. You'll notice it has nothing to do with being shy or even anti-social.
I ascribe to the idea that introverts lose energy in social interactions while extraverts gain energy from social interactions. Under this definition, I'm an introvert. It doesn't mean I don't enjoy social interactions or that I'm inept at them, I'm actually good at them, but I have to limit them or my energy gets absorbed.
Definitely true. I did a reading in a friend's wedding a few weekends ago, and aside from a few butterflies it went fine. I attended all the pre- and post-wedding festivities, caught up with friends, and had a blast all weekend. When I got home, I had to take an extra day off of work because I felt so emotionally zonked, like I'd been hit by a truck, and I just needed to be alone.
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