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I claim that the vast majority of introverts were not born that way. Most people who end up as introverts were extroverts earlier in their life. Usually something occurs that brings on introversion. When I have deep conversations with fellow introverts, I usually learn that they wish they could be more social but are held back by some type of insecurity.
I believe it is innate. The best explanation of introversion vs extroversion that I know is that introverts get tired or drained after some time of interacting with people while extroverts gain energy from interacting. Introverts usually need to spend alone time to recharge after social interaction. Being an introvert does to mean you are not a social person or that you're shy. It just means you need regular time alone to recharge your batteries so to speak.
I was raised by a narcissistic mother who needed to be the center of attention at all times. She was one of those people who had to top you in any conversation. And if I didn't publicly agree with her on EVERYTHING I would be criticized, ignored, or yelled at until I reluctantly sided with her. Any attempts to be open about myself were squashed down. I learned the only way to live with her was to appeal to her massive ego. That meant shutting up and appeasing her in any way possible.
It was only after I got my own place that I became less introverted. I finally had some breathing room to become open with myself.
I believe it is innate. The best explanation of introversion vs extroversion that I know is that introverts get tired or drained after some time of interacting with people while extroverts gain energy from interacting. Introverts usually need to spend alone time to recharge after social interaction. Being an introvert does to mean you are not a social person or that you're shy. It just means you need regular time alone to recharge your batteries so to speak.
I claim that the vast majority of introverts were not born that way. Most people who end up as introverts were extroverts earlier in their life. Usually something occurs that brings on introversion. When I have deep conversations with fellow introverts, I usually learn that they wish they could be more social but are held back by some type of insecurity.
Discuss.
For me it's innate. I don't seem to read social cues or follow social rules and it bothers me when strangers make eye contact with me. I would rather sit back and watch than be part of a group. I'm afraid of the judgment of others and even compliments feel like judgments. I don't notice that others get uncomfortable when the room is silent because I have no issue sitting in a room full of people with no one talking. I just figure they don't have anything to say. I'm horrible at small talk. I don't understand why people feel the need to talk when there's nothing to talk about. It feels fake.
I do wish I could be more social but it's not insecurity holding me back. I just don't know how to read others in social situations. I get it wrong more than I get it right. I do much better with people one on one.
Last edited by Ivorytickler; 06-22-2014 at 06:51 PM..
I was raised by a narcissistic mother who needed to be the center of attention at all times. She was one of those people who had to top you in any conversation. And if I didn't publicly agree with her on EVERYTHING I would be criticized, ignored, or yelled at until I reluctantly sided with her. Any attempts to be open about myself were squashed down. I learned the only way to live with her was to appeal to her massive ego. That meant shutting up and appeasing her in any way possible.
It was only after I got my own place that I became less introverted. I finally had some breathing room to become open with myself.
I believe there is something to this and that growing up under the tyranny of abusive/oppressive parents can be a factor - at least in younger years.
It might be interesting to see poll results of people self-described as introverts as to their childhood experience. I would be surprised if there wasn't a higher incidence rate of abuse among introverts as compared to extroverts.
It's also useful to separate introversion, which is just an inborn personality trait, from all the problems associated with growing up in an abusive home.
For me...nope, inborn, has nothing to do with shyness or social anxiety or not liking people, but everything to do with how I charge my batteries. I'd assume different people will have different answers.
I don't think introversion has anything to do with abuse. My parents are awesome and my upbringing was loving and supportive. My mom is an extrovert--she's the kind of person who is always on the go and who talks to everyone. My dad is more introverted--he's happy at home reading and would always stay up late because it was the only time he could be alone. (I take after Dad, naturally.)
I don't think introversion has anything to do with abuse. My parents are awesome and my upbringing was loving and supportive. My mom is an extrovert--she's the kind of person who is always on the go and who talks to everyone. My dad is more introverted--he's happy at home reading and would always stay up late because it was the only time he could be alone. (I take after Dad, naturally.)
I had a similar upbringing and both my parents are/were introverts, and so am I. I wonder if two introverts would have an extroverted child since that's not the kind of environment they grow up in. Also, birth order has something to do with personalities as well. I'd look up studies, but I'm too tired and don't have the patience to, but it would be interesting.
I claim that the vast majority of introverts were not born that way. Most people who end up as introverts were extroverts earlier in their life. Usually something occurs that brings on introversion. When I have deep conversations with fellow introverts, I usually learn that they wish they could be more social but are held back by some type of insecurity.
Discuss.
Innate. I thought there were studies already done about that which showed that introversion was innate?
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