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While I am fearful of the plane crashing, I do also fear an anxiety attack. What does one do? There is no way off. I freaked out in an MRI machine once. I thought I was going to stop breathing and I had no control over the feeling, even though I knew I was safe. I would say it will more than likely happen on this flight
I cannot send my family because if I think the plane might crash, I have to be with them. It is nthe only moral choice for me. I can't send them on a flight I wouldn't take. If anything happened to them, I would seriously not want to live.
Read that entire post again. There was no attack. It was a simple rebuttal.
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Originally Posted by savoytruffle
Pretty sure you are more likely to suffer in a car crash, unless you go 70 mph into a tree or something, than in a plane crash. Sure, some survivors remember some of what happened, but generally you pass out at 33,000 feet if you are blown into the air, IF you aren't immediately killed by fire or explosion or whatever. You are unlikely to be conscious falling to the ground. I don't like flying either because I also prefer to be on the ground and I find the sensory deprivation unpleasant, but I do believe dying in a plane crash is going to be more painless than many other ways to die.
I've seen plenty of Air Crash Investigation and Seconds From Disaster episodes where they described how, as these planes were falling, people were writing their final goodbyes while others were screaming and crying. Some of the CVRs (especially Japan Airlines 123) are very chilling.
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Originally Posted by savoytruffle
How is that any different from driving a car then? You are unlikely to get in a wreck overall, but what if, on the day of your roadtrip, a semi plows into you? I suspect you don't have those thoughts, I guess because they don't support your rationalization of your irrational fear of flying.
Proximity to the ground and control of your own vehicle. If that semi smashes into you, you may die, but at least you're on the ground and have some chance of surviving. Those odds are far less on a plane. Plus, since I like the feeling of control, I'm not too crazy about being a passenger in a car, either.
Despite statistics, I'm unsure why people believe this is an irrational fear. Humans cannot fly. How is it irrational to not want to be 30,000ft. in the sky with nothing under you but very thin air? Birds can't even fly at that height.
When I actually considered flying at one point, I asked some friends, family and co-workers about their experiences. The vast majority of them said they hated it, but will do it just so they can get to their destinations faster. A friend of mine's father proclaimed he'd never fly again after having a rough experience on a flight to AND from Florida years ago. Recently, he had to go back down for a wedding. Their return trip was so bad, he and his wife/BIL all thought they were going to die. They weren't the only ones with that experience. Severe turbulence combined with claustrophobia (for me) and the thought of imminent death does not sound like fun, regardless if the plane can stand the forces.
I've seen plenty of Air Crash Investigation and Seconds From Disaster episodes where they described how, as these planes were falling, people were writing their final goodbyes while others were screaming and crying. Some of the CVRs (especially Japan Airlines 123) are very chilling.
They weren't actually in the midst of dying, though. That's when they knew the plane was going to crash, that their lives were going to end. I believe the passengers on JAL 123 had 30 minutes to think about it. Truly terrifying, and this can happen. But it's very very unlikely.
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Originally Posted by rs4 fan
Proximity to the ground and control of your own vehicle. If that semi smashes into you, you may die, but at least you're on the ground and have some chance of surviving. Those odds are far less on a plane. Plus, since I like the feeling of control, I'm not too crazy about being a passenger in a car, either.
Maybe you will survive, but statistics still say that far more people do die in those sorts of crashes than in planes. I know several horrifying examples of vehicle accidents where the capability of controlling your vehicle really did nothing to save your life. You are driving along safely and you get plowed into at the wrong time, then it's over. But, I do concede that most accidents can be avoided by careful, defensive driving. And I don't really like being a passenger in a car either.
Quote:
Originally Posted by rs4 fan
Despite statistics, I'm unsure why people believe this is an irrational fear. Humans cannot fly. How is it irrational to not want to be 30,000ft. in the sky with nothing under you but very thin air? Birds can't even fly at that height.
Humans can't run at 60 mph-plus either, but you are not afraid of cars or (presumably) trains.
Many fears are irrational. Not just the fear of flying. Simply following logic, plane crashes are so rare, that it's like fearing being struck by lightning, which is actually more likely. I have irrational fears as well. I am creeped out by the idea of swimming in the ocean because of stories of shark attacks. Those are VERY unlikely to happen and I understand that. But, I get more hung up on it than flying, for whatever odd irrational reason of my own.
I am not posting in this thread with the intention of telling people their fear of flying is stupid. That is not the same as saying it is irrational. I don't mean the word to be insulting. I mean it to simply mean it's not logical.
The reason I responded with a strong tone in this thread was not to tell people they should just get over their fear, like it's really that simple. It would be very scary to die in a crash and I have been freaked out in planes at times. And I dislike flying because it makes me feel physically off. What I dislike in this thread is that the OP is saying everyone should feel the way he does about flying. I think that is ridiculous.
Wow. You sound personally offended that some people on the internet choose not to live their lives the way you do.
If people choose to live their lives in fear of certain things, who are you to tell them that they need to change that? I mean, if they ask for help, then yeah. Otherwise, you're just criticizing someone for choosing to live their lives differently. To be honest, some of the posters here remind me of my family members; always giving me grief because I don't fly. Deal with it.
I swear, you act as if I'm taking away business from your airline with my views.
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Originally Posted by rs4 fan
Read that entire post again. There was no attack. It was a simple rebuttal.
no attack against me? try again. i bolded the attacks, especially the last one where you assumed i somehow owned an airline.
the OP said he had a fear of flying, you also indicated such, if you didnt want someone to respond with ways to end that fear, then you should not have posted on an open forum.
and i have said, if you dont want to fly, dont fly i dont care, but dont get all upset at me when you claim a fear of flying, and i, and others, try to help you resolve that fear. if you want to live your life in fear, by all means do it. be the most fearful person you can be. but then again dont post on an open forum that you do in fact live in fear because people will try to help you get rid of that fear.
no attack against me? try again. i bolded the attacks, especially the last one where you assumed i somehow owned an airline.
the OP said he had a fear of flying, you also indicated such, if you didnt want someone to respond with ways to end that fear, then you should not have posted on an open forum.
and i have said, if you dont want to fly, dont fly i dont care, but dont get all upset at me when you claim a fear of flying, and i, and others, try to help you resolve that fear. if you want to live your life in fear, by all means do it. be the most fearful person you can be. but then again dont post on an open forum that you do in fact live in fear because people will try to help you get rid of that fear.
Ummm...read post # 64 (yours), and you'll see why I responded that way. Let's not revise history.
Also, the OP asked if anyone had the same thoughts as he. I do. I never asked for help. I was just contributing to the thread. Also, if you don't care, once again, why are you responding to me?
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Originally Posted by savoytruffle
Humans can't run at 60 mph-plus either, but you are not afraid of cars or (presumably) trains.
Being on the ground is a major reason why I don't mind driving.
Quote:
Originally Posted by savoytruffle
Many fears are irrational. Not just the fear of flying. Simply following logic, plane crashes are so rare, that it's like fearing being struck by lightning, which is actually more likely. I have irrational fears as well. I am creeped out by the idea of swimming in the ocean because of stories of shark attacks. Those are VERY unlikely to happen and I understand that. But, I get more hung up on it than flying, for whatever odd irrational reason of my own.
I've mentioned in another post that I have an aunt that has a car phobia. She can only be in the passenger seat for short distances (>10 miles). I don't have a problem with driving at all. My point here is that we are all different. What's logical to one may not be to another.
I got over an irrational fear of flights [edit: HEIGHTS, as you can see by the rest of this post--point is, it was a panic-attack inducing phobia like OP's] by forcing myself to do it. I just told myself, "I hate the person who is afraid of heights, and I HATE that I will never climb a mountain. So I will go, I will scream and cry, and I will keep going back up and making an ass of myself until it abates."
I've skied down a whole slope crying hysterically. I made them force me to go back up. I have gone on hikes in which I had to say to colleagues, "So, I'm afraid of heights. You might have to literally walk me down because I freeze." They did. It was humiliating.
I guess you could say it was not an extreme phobia because I was able to force myself to get into those situations.
But I agree with others: you need therapy, and you should go for it.
I climbed one of the continent's highest mountains last year. I was scared but I didn't freeze, I didn't cry, and I had been high enough that I knew the team could count on me. I'm very proud of that, not of the physical achievement, but of facing my fear. Perhaps motivation to conquer a fear (a positive accomplishment that deserves praise) will help you make the decision to get therapy.
Last edited by MmeZeeZee; 07-22-2014 at 10:02 PM..
I'm unsure why people believe this is an irrational fear.
Irrational fears are more irrational in their presentation, than their etiology. Spiders, snakes, the dark, flying, heights, very deep water, all common fears, etc. are all dangerous relative to just sitting at home during the day watching TV. But it's irrational to have a paralyzing, freak-out, a-grown-man-is-crying-and-peeing-his-pants fear of spiders, even if some are poisonous.
Same for flying, or heights. Sure, it's rational to be somewhat hesitant about taking a journey in a jet. But it's irrational to refuse to do something that is proven to be safe most of the time.
I used to be afraid to fly and joined the Air Force (smooth move on my part ). They sent me overseas and I have more horror stories flying on cargo planes that I care to tell (by the way, I love that this is a thread about fear of flying and people are telling horrible flying stories, lol).
My wife is from Singapore and now when we visit her family, it's a 21 hour flight. Fun stuff. I learned to keep myself busy with books, movies, etc. Take an iPod or put some movies on your phone, laptop, etc, most flights have some personal TV screens and have movies. Flying doesn't bother me anymore. Just keep yourself occupied.
Meanwhile, my daughter loves to fly, can sleep 8-10 hours on a plane and is immune to jet lag.
Quick background. I flew a few times and was up eventful. Never loved it. Got a great job in 2000 that required a flight to Chicago for a 3 day orientation. Flight there was great. Flight home was a disaster. Scary as hell. Swore I would never fly again. Got married in 2006. Bought plane tickets to Vegas as a surprise to my wife but the more I thought about it, the more I freaked out. I threw the tickets out and I drove Al the way there (48hrs, nearly non stop).
My wife's brother is getting married in August in California. Normally, I just wouldn't go. But, he wants me 6 yr old son and 4 yr old daughter in the wedding party. My wife insisted that they are all flying. I don't want to give me children this fear, so I would have to go on the plane. How else would you explain daddy driving? Plus, there is no way I could throw them on a plane that I am near certain will crash while I drive safely. I wouldn't be able to live with myself. What if they freak out in the plane? I want to be there for me.
So, I am being forced to confront this horrific fear. I keep picturing the plane crashing and every single detail that happens on the way down. What do you tell your kids if they are scared and crying? The though of them going through that horror crushes me and I never break down in tears.
Please, spare me the ridiculous statistics that it is safer to fly than drive. Sorry, I would much rather be in a car crash than a plane crash. I just want to know how to deal with this, I would never fly voluntarily. Since my children will be on the plane, it is no option. I must be with them no matter what. Watching the Malaysian plane crash on the news all day today did not help. I understand it was probably shot down, but looking at the smashed plane on the ground, with all of those bodies laying there made me as upset as I nearly ever got. I just pictured a plane full of people all happy that they were going on vacation and then BOOM. Dead!
Does anyone else think this way. I think it is perfectly normal to think like I do. Is it that no one else wants to think about these things, or do they really not think of them. I am starting to resent my wife and in laws for making me go through this. True, I agreed, but only because I was put on the spot in front of her family and I realized that I looked like a real p*ssy that I wouldn't fly. What the hell,am I gonna do? I already stopped doing any home projects because I am convinced it is all for nothing because I will not be around in three weeks. As irrational is it sounds, it isn't because this can definitely happen. It has happened. None of those great statistics mean anything if you are on the plane that is crashing. Make sense?
I don't think your fear is irrational at all. I flew all my life - until 9/11. (Fortunately, I did all the traveling I EVER wanted to do in my life. Now that I'm retired, I love staying at home and exploring New Mexico.) And it wasn't 9/11 that scared the H out of me -- it was everything afterwards. Flying is scary these days: The security agents, the x-ray machine, you can take this, you can't take that, you can take that if you leave it in a checked suitcase (you need a doctorate to read what you can and can't take and how much you can take!) and, whatever you do, don't look cross-eyed at any of the security agents.
I'm sorry your wife can't be more empathetic.
Take your kids and drive to CA. And just give a big smile to anyone who gives you a bad time for not flying. Who in the H cares what they think anyway.
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). They sent me overseas and I have more horror stories flying on cargo planes that I care to tell (by the way, I love that this is a thread about fear of flying and people are telling horrible flying stories, lol).
to anyone who gives you a bad time for not flying. Who in the H cares what they think anyway.
