Lacking long-term motivation (mentally, weight, people)

[arjo]

I seem to lack long-term motivation for things, specifically exercising and dieting. I know this doesn't sound too weird (who doesn't struggle with dieting and exercising at some point?) but I feel as though I have more trouble than others in this area.

For example: I'll be gung-ho about going to the gym consistently 3-4 days per week for about a month or so. After that I'll drop off, maybe go only once or twice, or not at all. After that I'll go a week or more at a time without going at all. Rinse and repeat.

The issue I run into is lack of motivation. Specifically, I'd say that during the drop-off phase I'd consider myself "aggressively unmotivated"; that is, I find it impossible (mentally) to spend time exercising. It sounds silly and I know there are those who say "you can be motivated if you want to be", but I find it to be not possible sometimes.

What could cause this? Has anyone else been through something similar? If so, what have you done to fix it?

[aneye4detail]

I think you just have to remember what originally motivated you. And it doesn't hurt to see results. Do you see results?
Also, many people don't like "exercise." Or going to the gym. You have to find something you like, or that is tolerable in the long run. Like just walking places. Parking far away, etc.

But as far as your answer to what could cause this?: being human.

[Davros]

I'm similar, but I don't have any solution because I'm still struggling with it.

[elyn02]

What are your goals with exercising? Is building stamina a part of that goal? I will be honest that stamina is not a goal of mine. I am only willing to do the minimum that is necessary to stay the shape I am in.

[Nighteyes]

Intrinsic ("internal") human motivation is a very tricky thing. To say "You really gotta wanna..." is both literally true and totally unhelpful. People choose one thing over another because the one is more important to them, in some way, than the other.

The reason for its importance may not be immediately obvious. For example healthy eating, including a weight-loss diet, requires a lot of time, energy and mind-share. It is usually more expensive as well. Many people fail in their healthy-eating efforts because it is one whale of a lot easier to just grab a Big Mac Combo or similar than it is to shop for, prepare, eat, and clean up after a healthy meal. While healthy eating is important to them, personal time-savings and convenience are more important.

Applying this to exercise, health club employees will tell you of the New Years' Resolution phenomenon. On January 2nd they are flooded with new members. By mid-February almost all of them have stopped coming. In many cases it isn't the exercise or the expense, but all the extra effort -- the "bother" -- involved in getting to, through, and from the gym two or three times a week.

This is the long way around to say that, if you really want to be healthier, take some time to seriously examine your personal reasons for choosing "unhelpful" behavior over the good things. Then work just as hard to tip the scales in the other direction. Find, and LIST, your own personal reasons for wanting to be healthy -- advantages, benefits, long-term cost and convenience savings, etc. Remember, they gotta be real, and they gotta be important, TO YOU.

Best of luck.

-- Nighteyes

[ocnjgirl]

First I think you are setting your initial goals too high. IMO starting out, aiming for 4x/week might not be doable long term, try 2x/week at first. Also for me, I realize when I come home from work, I don't feel like going back out to the gym, so I often wouldn't do anything. Now I don't do gyms. I bought a $300 small elliptical at Sears, or I go walk on the beach with a weighted vest (Walmart), or I exercise with dumbbells to free "On Demand" videos, etc. etc. The key is finding a way to exercise that you can do consistently. I don't put pressure on myself either, if I only feel like doing 15-20 minutes, that's okay, it's better than not doing it at all.

[oregonwoodsmoke]

The gym can be boring. I do treadmill and it is deadly. 30 minutes feels like 10 hours, unless I can get something good on the TV to watch and take my mind off the treadmill.

There are other ways to exercise that are more more. Join a basketball team, volleyball team, bicycle club, take up swimming or hiking. Exercise is a lot more interesting if it is achieving some goal more important than running in one place and not getting anywhere.

I use will power to make myself do the treadmill because I feel so much better if I stick with my program. Feeling stronger is my reward. Also, I love to hike, so it keeps me in shape to do a hike in the mountains.

But sorry. You can find some sort of exercise that is more fun or more interesting, but other than that, it is all about will power and sticking to a schedule. Unfortunately, there is no magic pill.

[Cida]

I think what's missing from your post is why you're exercising and dieting. Maybe if you get back to that, you'll find your motivation. If you're only exercising because you feel it's somehow healthy, that's not much to motivate you. Maybe instead of going to the gym you could incorporate more movement in the rest of your life, like walking instead of driving. f you're doing it to lose weight, then you need to incorporate something of the tangible results, like buying a new item of clothing.

[arjo]

Sorry, I just realized that I've been MIA from this!

I went back to the gym for my first session in roughly 6-7 months. I timeboxed it at 30 minutes (20 minutes of weightlifting, 10 minutes of intense cardio) and it felt pretty good. Part of why I've gotten tripped up in the past, I think, is setting crazy goals from the get-go and spending too much time in the gym. I'm trying the following, which is a change from what I was doing previously.

1) I'll be going in the morning instead of the evening.
I find that after cooking dinner, cleaning up, taking care of the dog, and doing all of the other little things I need to do after working a full day, I have virtually no energy or motivation left to do anything; least of all go to the gym. It seems easier to do it in the morning when I'm rested, don't have a bunch of things on my plate, and have more time.

2) I'm timeboxing my gym sessions to 30 minutes (excluding travel time).
I used to spend 1+ at the gym doing various exercises. I'm working on developing a simpler workout regimen that requires a lot less time in the gym, and I'm setting a personal limit at 30 minutes regardless of how much/what I do. My thought is that if I limit the time burden, I'll be more likely to want to go.

3) I'm scheduling all of my sessions for weekdays.
I used to schedule my gym days for something like Monday, Thursday, and Saturday. I found that I never felt like going on a Saturday, so I'd always skip that day and get into bad habits. Combined with morning sessions, I think sticking to weekdays is a better way to make sure that I get to the gym.

Finally, as to what my motivation is: I've always been what some call skinny-fat (humorous, but you get the idea). I don't ever remember a time where I've felt comfortable in public with my shirt off. I'm going on vacation to Punta Cana in October, and while I know that I won't have the body of a Greek statue by then, I would like to at least look a little better than I have at previous years' beach outings. I know vanity isn't maybe the best reason for doing it, so I am doing it to get healthy; I've noticed some bad habits developing (too much food/beer and not enough physical activity). I'm looking at this is a change for my inside and outside, both of which I'm not entirely pleased with.

[Sydney123]

I hate going to the gym, especially here.. It's more like going to a fashion show/ meet market.
I stay fit by doing activities that I like. For instance I like to surf, swim, run, dance, play soccer and just stay active. I've found that burning energy .. Energizes.