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Sometimes the symptoms of Borderline are more difficult to diagnose. It took 2 years of therapy for me. The more overt indicators are; being an 'inpatient' many times, cutting, extreme erratic behavior, suicide attempts, extreme anger, severe depression, severe substance abuse if present when the patient is diagnosed makes it easier for the clinician. For me the signs where more subtle. I tend to be a 'higher functioning' Borderline, yet still suffer from many symptoms; Black and white thinking, mood swings, anger, dissociation ,paranoid ideation, impulsivity- I can control these reasonably well most of the time, but I will have on occasion 'lapses' of 'unacceptable behavior' -DBT is helping me manage these symptoms better. In the past I had 'love and sex addiction' this has subsided greatly now. And moderate substance abuse (which is now under control). There is also a very sensitive persona, not able to take criticism, which will trigger another key component of BPD - abandonment and rejection. I am improving on this also.
However the most damaging component to BPD is the 'lack of self' the sense of having no identity- no idea what you are what you want in an occupation, what you need from others. I have begun to see myself in a more clear reality. This is bringing up my self esteem (another issue that Borderlines have) Also when stressed I can still suffer from moderate disassociation- which is sort of like an 'outer body experience' - being in a stressful situation in which my 'stressors' are initiated-I 'Zone Out', my face goes 'blank'. When some people see this, they have actually have 'called me back in!' Borderlines go through much, you normal folk have no idea how this really does suck. One has to learn from self validation, become more mentally resilient , and rely on oneself. The skills we learn add to our quality of life and improve our interpersonal relations, which can be difficult.
Last edited by newerabuzz; 08-25-2014 at 04:46 AM..
Evaluation is based in observation really, if you know the symptoms, you don't need to be a "pro" to know "something's not right on".
If you know the person in his or her normal environment (home) and you see behavior that is weird and then the rages out of nowhere, well...you get an idea really.
I spoke with my ex BPD/NPD today. I was comforting and nurturing and he just lied and lied and lied. I can tell by his recent ramblings he is under heavy stress. I found it alarming and reached out. I was like "but you don't need to pretend around me blah blah blah." I'm just sad really. Like he has no safe place.
He seems so BPD, and he calls himself that, but some of that NPD behavior stuff gives me the creeps. I just desperately wish he had a soul so I cling to BPD as the dx.
newerbuzz something in your post struck me: I constantly would tell my guy to state what he wanted or needed. he never does that. He would just be silent and I'm clucking around him playing a guessing game.
A lot of the time I thought our age difference was the problem, as in, I matured a bit before I found it easy to state my needs and boundaries.
oh well. I am still entrenched in this topic and enjoying it.
stating ones needs is in DBT 'DEAR MAN' check it out on Google. Since we have a lack of 'self' along with poor self worth- we do not feel we have right to express our needs. Borderlines usually do not lie. I am not a liar under most circumstances. NARCS are expert at it. The more I learn about myself, the more I can begin to see how DBT works for BPD.
At the same time I am still learning more about Malignant Narcissists and Psychopath's (this is something we all need to be savvy on in the current society in which we live) Borderlines do not cause the havoc to greater society then these two 'intra-species predators'. Nonetheless those with moderate to severe BPD can cause personal interaction to be very difficult.
As any disorder people need to be aware of their condition.
It's a nightmare for all people around them to deal with this. Life as is, is tough, imagine dealing with someone who doesn't take medication or doesn't want to even hear he or she has a problem.
I'm reading a memior right now - Get Me Out of Here by Rachel Reiland. The author is bpd. It discusses her therapy quite a bit - jacket says she recovers from bpd. I am halfway through and find it very readable but not insightful so far. My understanding hasn't changed much of the disorder. I was hoping to gain more knowledge. She is somewhat sympathetic, she knows she is "off" and doesnt want to be a bad mother to her young kids as well wanting to be 'better' for her own sake. I'm still not clear why her parents were so bad she became bpd.
I find many mental illness memiors like that actually, informative but not offering up much. LIke Prozac Nation was a nonstop self-indulgent diarraha (sp?) of words. Everything about her and boohoo gimme more of what I want because I'm ill! Wah! I wanted to smack her. At least Reiland avoids that trap.
I need some encouragement. Anyone know of someone with BPD or BPD traits that was able to recover or regain control of their life?
They say BPD symptoms get better with age. I am not very sure of that. I know somebody committed suicide later in life. But not everybody is like that.
The good news is that she is aware of her symptoms and doesn't look like she is in denial. With treatment, emotional support and some self awareness. I think she can get better
BPD symptoms can 'decrease' somewhat with age- but unless the patient is diagnosed and receives treatment- and begins to have insight into their mental illness, a more full 'recovery' will not occur.
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Informative thread
