Quote:
Originally Posted by mordant
Life Coaching is like being an LSW, psychiatrist or psychologist without the pesky educational or licensing requirements. I am sure that, just as some people go into the mental health field to help work out their own mental health issues, the same thing happens with life coaches.
That doesn't mean that a particular life coach can't be effective. If you are someone who grew up feral with absent or emotionally withholding parents, or were abused or some such similar situation, you might benefit from working with someone who can be a sort of substitute parent to your inner child. I think that whether a life coach, social worker, psychiatrist or psychologist, I would want to know their personal story, the testimonials of other clients, general reputation, and then I would have to feel an affinity and mutual respect to proceed very far with them.
It's almost more important for any such "hired friend" to be intuitive in assessing your issues and helping you to assess them for yourself, than how educated or licensed they are. There are people who have post-doctorate degrees in mental health who couldn't counsel their way out of a paper bag.
Many life coaches seem to be into new-age types of beliefs, eastern religion, etc., and I would tend to shy away from anyone with a predetermined agenda or belief-system they were operating from.
Although anyone reading this could hang out a shingle as a life coach tomorrow, there are, I'm sure, some attempts at self-regulation in that line of work and I'd at least look for someone who belongs to an organization that tries to impose and validate some kind of adherence to basic professional standards.
All that said, I'm skeptical that any kind of "hired friend" is apt to be that helpful to anyone who had basically healthy parenting. The most it would probably do for someone with good self-confidence and awareness is to help them get unstuck on some particular issue. That's nothing a good, mature friend couldn't help you with, but in today's society it's easy to feel alienated and friendless ... it's easier said than done to find and keep those kinds of friends.
"Hiring" a friend can be expensive and require a lot of trial and error and false starts. I feel for people who really need the help; the processing of finding someone is discouraging enough, and once you've done so, you still have to go through the whole process of working out your issues. I know people who just do the best they can on their own after bad experiences with "helpers".
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To equate a "life-coach" with a well trained clinician is as absurd as calling a well trained clinician a "hired friend."
It also shows a lack of sophistication into the complexities of human nature, and the practice of psychology.
Everyone has issues--you're not human if you don't. It's how you deal with them that matters.
If you deal with issues from inside a bubble of an encapsulated mind, you're not in relationship with others. While you don't have a problem, others will struggle in their dealings with you.
If you deal with issues without enough boundaries, you may be in too much relationship with others, lose yourself, and you yourself struggle.
Finding the balance between those two aspects, takes reflection, compassion, open dialog, and patience.
To address a mental health professional as a "hired friend" is a pejorative opinion that can dangerously derail people who need/want help from seeking it--similar to calling a surgeon a "butcher."
Some of the most seriously troubled individuals I've ever met--before I became a mental health practitioner--were in very high levels of authority, across a wide field of professions. In fact, it was my curiosity about how/why that could be possible that led to my return to school (I was previously in medicine).
The most important factors in finding someone helpful are as follows:
*they have good, reputable, advanced training
*they have done their own psychological work
*their guidance is effective, practical, and makes sense
*you're not obligated into financial contracts
*you learn how be in the middle of a situation, see all sides, and choose the best possible outcome
*there is a balance of empathy with critical thinking/discernment
*they are able to see how you shoot yourself in the foot... and kindly help you see that
Life coaching (also known as counseling) has always been the hallmark of a good mental health professional.
Mental health and developmental education is not part of life coach training.
Life coaches sometimes have more confidence than actual understanding, and over-step their expertise.
People can be taken advantage of because they are emotionally vulnerable in the midst of their pain.
This emotional vulnerability causes a sway:
from grasping too much onto professional guidance--to--rejecting the insights of professional help
Cognitive and emotional wellness is complex, and should never be over-simplified.
Now that I've cleared the distinctions...
Is Life Coaching necessary?
It depends... if you're unable to get from where you are, to where you want to be, if you need help making effective changes, life coaching can ask you the necessary questions to elicit your internal self-motivation, and provide practical tools to get you on your way.
If you make progress--great--that's what you needed.
If you don't make progress, or if you seriously stall along the way, a trained mental health clinician is the next step.
Digging deep within yourself to find/deepen your longing and determination, is based on the ability to feel the pain and frustration of not having what you want, and balancing your thinking and intuition--remember Jiminy Cricket?
You have the wellspring of guidance already within you. It usually only takes courage to act...
... and having courage--the ability to act amidst fear--is sometimes the biggest challenge of all.
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