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I have a grandson who is 2 years old, and his parents don't plan on having any other kids. He doesn't even have cousins anywhere near his age, just a couple who are much older. Neither families have many relatives, and none who are close, distance wise or emotionally. I was wondering if someone else is in this situation? If so, were you lonely as a child, not having any siblings to share your lives joys, ups and downs, holidays, with, or were you OK with it? What about as you got older, in your teens and older? I worry that he won't have any contact with anyone related to him when he's older, no family to speak of.
So, if you are an adult only child, with hardly any relatives, are you happy or sad about your familial situation?
I was (am) in a similar situation, middle-aged adult:
Only child, grandparents (maternal) deceased by the time I was two; grandparents (paternal) 800 miles away (paternal grandmother died when I was nine). Nearest cousins 60 miles away, dissimilar in age (older), seen semi-annually and thus not close. Remaining batch of cousins 800 miles away, seen very seldom (ten years, twenty years, some I can't recall ever meeting).
I don't think there is anything to "worry" about. My parents were also older by standards of the day, more-typical of today (late 30s on my birth). They had less time, patience, and interest to entertain a child. A healthy response from a resourceful child is to become more-independent and self-entertaining. That is not a bad thing, at-all, other than expending energy trying to explain "individualism" and "self-sufficiency" to morons and groupthink clones my whole life.
Outcomes: it became abundantly clear, by the time I was a pre-teen, that I was mostly going to be on my own and should endeavor to be economically free of others as-well, as soon as practicable. I was raised in a spirit of can-do individualism, with scorn for "teamwork" and/or "government" as solutions to life's problems. Other people, and red tape, were (and are) usually obstacles, not instigators of effective action and free commerce.
Some decades later, I could not be more grateful for being imbued with the above views and principles, implicitly (and sometimes explicitly) illustrated to me repeatedly as an outstanding framework for man to have in American society. Especially in these times of redistribution-mongering, collective-guilt over American exceptionalism and accomplishments, and other forms of national nihilism. All of which I resist with all legal means at my disposal, that primarily being the ballot box.
Credo: "Get it done. If you can't, get out of the way and someone else will. Do not count on anyone to help; you're your own best friend, closest confidant, and the only person on earth always looking out for your best interests."
This framework, per se, has led me conclusively to wealth, happiness, and a spirit of self-determination in most everything I do. I build, and am part-of, high performance teams in my business life. Gladly, I might point out, because they lead to higher performance for the group than even high-performance individual effort. Though the latter is key to success for all, as-well.
In my personal life, I am called "the Ranger" by the few friends I trust, with a love for exploration and insatiable curiosity about places and man's accomplishments (and failures). I have no idea the whereabouts of extended family. They've been dead to me since square one, basically, never establishing any value-add whatsoever to (commencing, resuming) additional contact. This neither pleases nor displeases me, in answer to the OP's final question. It simply is, and will be, and I'm content with that.
BLAH BLAH BLAH.....only children are horrible...blah blah blah....
Take a look at this thread.... Siblings fight and argue all the time! ..... why would it be so important to you for your grandchild to fight with someone?
I second the motion of several posters who pointed out that siblings sometimes fight all the time, resent each other, and share no closeness at all. This isn't always true, of course, but it's really a crap shoot how things will turn out.
I have one sister, three years younger. My parents used us as pawns in their battles with each other - not a very good formula for good sibling relationships. We were in our fifties before we got along well and enjoyed each others' company. And even that result is not guaranteed; some siblings take their hatred and estrangement to the grave.
OP, I agree with the many posters who have stated that you are too bossy and controlling vis a vis your daughter. Back off.
I am 18 and I grew up as an only child. I have a paternal half brother and sister but they aren't full siblings either. I saw them a lot though but they are so much older than me. So we all grew up as only children even though through blood we are not. I am my moms only child and my dads second and youngest daughter. But I was fine. I have a lot of friends and cousins that I saw often and still do. He will be fine. If you are really worried you could press the subject a little bit but if she says no then stay out of it.
I'm 42 years old and both my wife and I are only children. I would say that being an only child was and still is a negative experience. I was much too involved in my parents lives and when they had discord it just devastated me. I had to face my father's death alone and even today my Mom is an overbearing over involved nag. My wife' mother was an alcoholic and her father was never home ( worked 80 hours a week). She had to face her crazy mother alone and she had no friends in the neighborhood to play with.
We have 2 children (Thank God!) but couldn't have anymore due to health issues. I would have liked to have had 3 or 4. It's so good that my boys will have each other in old age because they won't have any relatives if they choose not to marry. No aunts, uncles or cousins.
Basicly my parents chose material things over children and even today in her "common law marriage" my Mom still craves the material over people. Sucks that you have to have your life severely limited by the "choices" your parents made. I say to this Grandmother, I totally understand and you are right to speak up about it. There I said it! Not the PC thing to say but if I can help prevent a repeat of my wife and I's childhood so be it!
Last edited by Port North; 02-03-2016 at 12:45 AM..
Only child here, who also has an only child. And very happy about both. I believe the only child Policy is the only hope for humanity if it doesn't want to selfdestruct under a demographic tsunami.
Location: New Albany, Indiana (Greater Louisville)
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I had an odd childhood, I'm 1 of 5 but there is 15 years between myself and the next youngest (I'm youngest). She got married at 18 so by the time I was 3 she had moved out. I was a defacto only child. I also moved around quite a bit. I think because of that I still have trouble making friends. I have almost no social outlets at all besides my wife and somewhat with her family.
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It will be fine
