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Old 08-16-2014, 12:29 AM
 
120 posts, read 286,162 times
Reputation: 104

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I can't make decisions for the life of me...

Sometimes I'll starve rather than get something to eat because I cant decide what I want to eat...

The problems become more serious as the decisions get larger. Such as the purchase of a car.

I feel like its really destroying my ability to lead a normal life.

I've been trying to buy a car for the past month, I had a car on deposit and today I walked out at the last minute because I got really scared.

Is anxiety disorder a real thing? Is it curable? is there anything to be done?
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Old 08-16-2014, 06:12 AM
 
9,895 posts, read 9,538,790 times
Reputation: 10084
could be a lot of things.

Evantually you ate, so you didn't starve, so thats good.

could be your a perfectionist because thats sometimes how they think, (has to be perfect or else cant be done).

you have the fear of something - what is it? fear of failure? or reasonable fear because you are thinking of the consequences of the monthly payment. or you dont have confidence in yourself.

sounds fixable. Try with the next challenge - to break each task down into smaller manageable things to do. Find out what it would take to buy a car and write it down and then it wont seem such a huge mountain.
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Old 08-16-2014, 09:17 AM
 
128 posts, read 201,370 times
Reputation: 123
seems like low-self esteem, no confidence, watch this guys videos , help about self development

.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HZm4...F3MyyUto0-M5Lw
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Old 08-16-2014, 10:52 AM
 
120 posts, read 286,162 times
Reputation: 104
I have low self esteem. I have no conyidence in myself. I've seen a therapist in the past and I've done the things that she has laid out but I still feel like ****.

Its the reason why I dont have a girlfriend- I have no goddamn confidence in myself. On top of that, I'm also a perfectionist.

I started riding horses because I thought it would help me out. (i rode in my first show last month) It did help but only temporarily.

I thought having a lot of money would help, but it doesnt. This past year I become a multi-millionaire. I still feel like ****. I was on my way to buy the new Porsche Macan when I got another one of those "attacks". The last time it happened while I was at the Toyota dealership ready to buy a Toyota Rav 4.

I dont know what is going on with me. how else can one improve self esteem? I even competed in a bodybuilding competition (took 4th place), so its not my physical health which is great. My mental health is in the ****ter...

I'm just horribly insecure... ugh.

I get these ups and downs. The past 6 months have been generally up because Ive been riding horses and doing very well financially. Now Im starting to head down again, and feeling really hopeless. It was really embarassing walking out of the dealership yesterday, but there was nothing I could do, just completely hopeless.
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Old 08-16-2014, 12:08 PM
 
148 posts, read 140,742 times
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no your normal. I look at a car for weeks before I buy, even going back at night to view when no one about, life is full of this crap
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Old 08-16-2014, 12:15 PM
 
421 posts, read 555,091 times
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Maybe more therapy?
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Old 08-16-2014, 09:30 PM
 
9,895 posts, read 9,538,790 times
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I tell everyone - (of course its your decision).. cognitive behavior therapy. You learn how to react to your thoughts so they are more reasonable and don't get you down as usual.

In the meantime, stop living your live to impress others. I just learned this myself. I felt bad when i tried to measure up to other people's expectations. Now that i am listening to myself, it made me stronger. Two months ago, from some personal crisis that just about knocked me out, i now have dealt with it, and last week and today i felt better because i am listening to myself. Feeling crappy about myself takes a lot of energy. and trying to please everyone also.

therapy can make you feel crappy IF it is getting the bad stuff out of you, kind of like vomiting out the bad stuff but then you feel better once its gone. sometimes though you have to do the work, or keep digging to get to the bottom of whats going on with you. I dont know, some people take years to heal, others take a few months. doesn't mean the therapy is wrong, but its a case by case basis. it just means you need more work and time to heal.
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Old 08-17-2014, 02:46 PM
 
Location: North Texas
3,476 posts, read 2,628,814 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cancerous View Post
I can't make decisions for the life of me...

Sometimes I'll starve rather than get something to eat because I cant decide what I want to eat...

The problems become more serious as the decisions get larger. Such as the purchase of a car.

I feel like its really destroying my ability to lead a normal life.

I've been trying to buy a car for the past month, I had a car on deposit and today I walked out at the last minute because I got really scared.

Is anxiety disorder a real thing? Is it curable? is there anything to be done?
Naw, I would characterize it more as laziness and buyers remorse.
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Old 08-18-2014, 05:34 PM
 
2,420 posts, read 4,359,900 times
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Most sensible people struggle with making large purchases, even when they can well afford them. It is because they understand the value of money, and also know the difference between a want and a need. (referencing another thread from a different forum)

You don't need an expensive showy car, but you would like to have one because you think it might improve your self image. It doesn't really improve it, only superficially for a short while. Then your back where you started from even more depressed because it didn't fix you, and a little lighter in the wallet. Accomplishments can help with self esteem issues, but usually not toys.

Most really bad self esteem issues stem from some form of traumatic loss growing up or feelings of abandonment as a child. Therapy can help you to understand. On a brighter note many very successful people suffered with really low self esteem growing up. Which in itself can be a motivator to succeed in life (Woody Allen always comes to mind. He is downright neurotic, and a genius and widely admired in his industry.) The list of such people is actually very long.

If you feel your indecisiveness has gotten out of hand where even the smallest decisions are difficult for you to make, perhaps you are suffering from depression. Depression makes everything seem insurmountable and decision making very difficult. I would assume if you are seeing someone, they have looked into this for you. (It needs to be a medical doctor to prescribe meds. A psychologist can't, but could recommend you to someone.)

Not every medication works on everyone. Sometimes you may need to try a few different ones to see what works for you. But there is no mistaking it when it kicks in. You still face all the same life challenges, and have as many daily decisions to make, but it ceases to be such a struggle for you, and it becomes manageable.

I am not a doctor, and not qualified to give medical advice, but being someone who suffered from it in the past, I know how much of a difference it can make to be diagnosed correctly and how much good anti-depressants can do for some people. Something to look into if you haven't all ready.

Last edited by modhatter; 08-18-2014 at 06:16 PM..
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Old 08-19-2014, 09:16 PM
 
15,534 posts, read 15,555,642 times
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I'd be cautious about conflating anxiety and indecisiveness. I'd also be cautious in leaping to decide you have a "disorder."

I've had similar situations, although I've described it not as a "larger" decision, but a decision that I have to live with longer. Sometimes it helps if you just ask yourself what you're scared of. Then you answer the question and often either realize it's silly, or that you understand the consequences aren't really a big deal.

On big decisions, do you usually do research? Do you usually consult knowledgeable friends?

I recently read an interesting book on decision-making. I can't remember the title, but I'll see if I can track it down.
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