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Okay, so I posted over in the Philly forum about this (I noticed this is a trend where I live and I wanted to see if other's agreed with me/had similar experiences). Anyway, while I was walking home today some kid insulted me about my weight. At first I ignored it, but that only made the situation worse because they persisted in calling me the name over and over again. Eventually I got fed up with it and told them to "just quit it", but it seemed to do nothing more but let them know that I was actually engaged in the situation (I guess that's what they wanted, eh?).
This is not the first time I have had people pick on me because of my weight. I remember being made fun of all throughout elementary and middle school. It has stopped now that I am in high school, so instead of dealing with bullying I now have to deal with all the damage that was caused during those times.
Today, I am very self-conscious, nervous, and depressed. I have tried to kill myself twice and was hospitalized once for it. I have to take medication because my depression is so bad I can't even manage it on my own. I have been through so much and the drama in my life never seems to end. I am actually going through a very traumatic experience right now, and the fact that those kids insulted only adds oxygen to the flames.
When someone insults me, their words take a hold of me. What they say usually resonates within me...I actually end up believing what they say and that I deserve it. I remember what they said for years to come, and the exact emotion I felt when they said it. I actually sometimes cry over things people have said to me years ago.
So, my question here is, how should I deal with insults? I do everything in my power to make sure that no one ever says them to me (to my extreme detriment), but it never seems to work. Obviously if I am going to live a happy life I am going to learn how to deal with them so that I do not suffer constantly.
Okay, so I posted over in the Philly forum about this (I noticed this is a trend where I live and I wanted to see if other's agreed with me/had similar experiences). Anyway, while I was walking home today some kid insulted me about my weight. At first I ignored it, but that only made the situation worse because they persisted in calling me the name over and over again. Eventually I got fed up with it and told them to "just quit it", but it seemed to do nothing more but let them know that I was actually engaged in the situation (I guess that's what they wanted, eh?).
This is not the first time I have had people pick on me because of my weight. I remember being made fun of all throughout elementary and middle school. It has stopped now that I am in high school, so instead of dealing with bullying I now have to deal with all the damage that was caused during those times.
Today, I am very self-conscious, nervous, and depressed. I have tried to kill myself twice and was hospitalized once for it. I have to take medication because my depression is so bad I can't even manage it on my own. I have been through so much and the drama in my life never seems to end. I am actually going through a very traumatic experience right now, and the fact that those kids insulted only adds oxygen to the flames.
When someone insults me, their words take a hold of me. What they say usually resonates within me...I actually end up believing what they say and that I deserve it. I remember what they said for years to come, and the exact emotion I felt when they said it. I actually sometimes cry over things people have said to me years ago.
So, my question here is, how should I deal with insults? I do everything in my power to make sure that no one ever says them to me (to my extreme detriment), but it never seems to work. Obviously if I am going to live a happy life I am going to learn how to deal with them so that I do not suffer constantly.
Honey, life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you choose to respond to the things that happen. Repeat that about 100 times until you get it okay?
You are still young and many of your feelings are very common in your age group.
As you grow up work to accept that people who do mean things are the ones with the real problems, the real issues.
And you never want to own other peoples issues! What they say to you actually says a whole lot more about them, see?
You handle these insults by smiling and walking away with your head held high because YOU can now know in your own heart and head that THEY are the ones to be pitied, they are the ones with pathetic thought processes that have been forged from very ugly places. Again, pity them, and move on. You have more important things to concern yourself with
I think you are too young to post here. It's an adult forum.
Ask your school counselor.
This is best, and true^^^ but in the interim, you already answered your own question. Just don't give them the response they expect. Say something like, "Why can't you be psychic so you could at least tell me something I don't know," (but don't phrase it as a question) or mumble "Yeah, right," and get out a phone and either pretend to call someone or call someone and start talking. Cough a little, like you have or are coming down with a cold; that shows self-concern and that you're distracted by other things/not interested in their message.
Or, be the comic and say, "Yeah, but my center of gravity is MUCH better than yours" and give a very slight smile, roll your eyes, or even yawn to show boredom, as though you're not affected at all. The world's FINEST comedians were bullied. If they keep at it, give them the "This is just so boring to me" look.
Or, look at them as though they've startled you out of a daydream (this shows your sense of relaxation, then diverts your attention to something else concerning YOU) and then say, "Oh, my God, I'm supposed to be at" (insert name/place here).
When you deflect the comment by a "surprise" answer, they won't know how to retaliate. And your body language (rolling your eyes, yawning, coughing (shows self-concern), moving your attention elsewhere by using the phone) speaks volumes. Just move as though you couldn't care less. And you shouldn't. It's none of your business what they think of you. (You could say that, too Good luck, and DO speak to the counselor.
I just thought of an example of "the bored look" that works, though this is a LITTLE exaggerated. Check this out -- and then watch the movie. It's an epic film that will get your endorphins really flowing, and it's on YouTube:
When I went to high school, the "jocks" were very nasty and said mean comments to the "nerdy" types...
10 years later at the 10 year high school reunion, those nerds were all driving the fancy cars and wearing the expensive clothes and the unemployed jocks did not look so happy, especially when they saw who turned out to be successful!
Bottom line: Just ignore them. You will not be in school forever, the adult world is more mature and respectful. Go to Walmart and look at the people... seems like everyone has someone with them - does not matter if they are fat, skinny, good looking, not-so-good looking, etc.
Adults go more by personality - that is what is important!
Okay, so I posted over in the Philly forum about this (I noticed this is a trend where I live and I wanted to see if other's agreed with me/had similar experiences). Anyway, while I was walking home today some kid insulted me about my weight. At first I ignored it, but that only made the situation worse because they persisted in calling me the name over and over again. Eventually I got fed up with it and told them to "just quit it", but it seemed to do nothing more but let them know that I was actually engaged in the situation (I guess that's what they wanted, eh?).
This is not the first time I have had people pick on me because of my weight. I remember being made fun of all throughout elementary and middle school. It has stopped now that I am in high school, so instead of dealing with bullying I now have to deal with all the damage that was caused during those times.
Today, I am very self-conscious, nervous, and depressed. I have tried to kill myself twice and was hospitalized once for it. I have to take medication because my depression is so bad I can't even manage it on my own. I have been through so much and the drama in my life never seems to end. I am actually going through a very traumatic experience right now, and the fact that those kids insulted only adds oxygen to the flames.
When someone insults me, their words take a hold of me. What they say usually resonates within me...I actually end up believing what they say and that I deserve it. I remember what they said for years to come, and the exact emotion I felt when they said it. I actually sometimes cry over things people have said to me years ago.
So, my question here is, how should I deal with insults? I do everything in my power to make sure that no one ever says them to me (to my extreme detriment), but it never seems to work. Obviously if I am going to live a happy life I am going to learn how to deal with them so that I do not suffer constantly.
I say give it right back to them. "I can lose my weight, but there is nothing you can do about being an ugly a$$hole."
When you feel intrusive thoughts such as the bad emotions coming to you from years ago, say this to yourself, outloud if able- "STOP!"
Make a list of strengths that you have. YOU is not synonymous with your WEIGHT! There is so much more to you than this! When you feel these feelings coming on, think about why you are awesome. I will start you off:
1. You are a sensitive person and care about other's feelings. I can see this from your post.
2. You have overcome people making fun of you and you can do it again. You are strong.
3. You are able to be in touch with your emotions. You are warm hearted.
4. You can recognize the good and bad in people when you see it. You have emotional intelligence.
This is a start . . . .im positive there are MANY more wonderful qualities in you.
And please see a therapist or counselor if you do not already have one.
I have faith in you!
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