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Way too often we hear of women that are in an abusive relationship. What I don't understand is why do they stay? I have never hit a woman and never will except in self defense. I used to feel sorry for women that stayed with these kinds of men but I don't anymore. She chose him in the first place and she chooses to stay with him, that is on her. I don't have any respect for men that abuse women, but also no sympathy for women that choose to stay with them.
For example, the recent Ray Rice case. Yes first time it happened where he KO'd her in one punch that was terrible and I did feel bad for her. I don't think she is leaving him; if it happens again I will not feel bad for her.
I think for some reason women would rather stay within their comfort zone and a known environment rather then facing the unknown. In other words staying with an imperfect but known man instead of leaving and dating strangers again. Why?
Do men stay in abusive relationships? Some do I'm sure but as a whole not nearly as much as women do IMO.
3) Nowhere to go, no options. Especially if she's been a SAHM, and doesn't have much of a job history or skills.
4) Keeps hoping he'll change. Buys his promises to change, his begging her not to leave (men will resort to theatrics, if necessary), and so forth.
5) Low self-esteem. In some cases programmed from childhood. This means--lacking the ego strength to make positive changes in life, lacking the strength to take the plunge into the unknown and fend for oneself.
Yes, men stay in abusive relationships, for various reasons. Some manage to leave, others aren't able to if they're under threat from the wife's extended family, for example. (It happens.)
You probably could have googled it, and found lots of articles explaining the factors involved.
Last edited by Ruth4Truth; 09-24-2014 at 07:10 PM..
For a lot of women, the abuse starts before the physical abuse starts. First they find what seems to be THEE perfect man. He becomes controlling which to some women appears like a confident man who knows what they want. They don't notice what's happening to them as they continue to comply when asked to do things...some trivial and other requests are bordering on ridiculous, but they do it for the love of their man. They mess up, he gets frustrated and verbally lash out at them. Their confidence is broken down and they believe they deserve what's being said to them. Then the physical abuse sets in as the demands become more and more crazy, and the woman can't live up to their man's standards and demands. Their confidence is shot so the physical abuse becomes their problem..or so they are lead to believe. They stay because they don't want to anger their man, or they hope it's just a phase as long as they please him or live up to his standards....which is almost always too high to reach. This relationship is built on fear and low self-esteem from the woman and extreme insecurity from the man.
Other women date the over-bearing, controlling men because they think they can change them. They don't know when to give up so they stick around so they can get the prize of a docile, kind, gentleman they want so badly to make of him. It almost never happens. They too break down or they are just too damaged or stubborn to know when to walk away. This relationship is built on the insecurity from the woman and the jackass behavior, insecurity, and ignorance from the man.
For men, they suffer the same fates from women in similar situations as the men described above. Men are not required to me "macho" to be manly. They want the same as what is assumed from women...mutual love, affection, faithfulness, and loyalty. The reasons for men to stay may also include the need to not feel weak because they can't control their women, but then again, women often do the same with their men in an abusive relationship.
There are many reasons for people to stay together, but I truly believe the biggest underlying problems that causes abusive relationships to stick are insecurity and low self-esteem.
I honestly don't know either, and used to ask my mom this question when dad made nasty comments about her.
She said for your peace of mind, I'm putting up with this guy rather than dealing with divorce. Honestly remember hearing this phrase thousands of times.
They really haven't experienced a healthy relationship to know any better; one of many reasons.
Good one. I knew I was leaving some out.
Yeah, the abuse can creep up gradually, so in the early stages, she doesn't know it's an unhealthy relationship. She doesn't see the red flags. For ex., it starts out with the bf exerting more and more control, with occasional fits of temper. If she grew up in a family where the parents fought, that would seem normal to her.
Way too often we hear of women that are in an abusive relationship. What I don't understand is why do they stay? I have never hit a woman and never will except in self defense. I used to feel sorry for women that stayed with these kinds of men but I don't anymore. She chose him in the first place and she chooses to stay with him, that is on her. I don't have any respect for men that abuse women, but also no sympathy for women that choose to stay with them.
For example, the recent Ray Rice case. Yes first time it happened where he KO'd her in one punch that was terrible and I did feel bad for her. I don't think she is leaving him; if it happens again I will not feel bad for her.
I think for some reason women would rather stay within their comfort zone and a known environment rather then facing the unknown. In other words staying with an imperfect but known man instead of leaving and dating strangers again. Why?
Do men stay in abusive relationships? Some do I'm sure but as a whole not nearly as much as women do IMO.
Oh come on. There has been endless publicity on this. Surely you can't be that uninformed.
And yeah I am sure there are a few men that do stay in abusive relationships...but clearly the differences in men and women should give you a clue as to why women wind up staying more often.
Maybe the false notion that the violent behavior/response proves that he loves/cares about her, that she can evoke those "emotions" from him; that that kind of attention is better than none at all.
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There has been endless publicity on this. Surely you can't be that uninformed. 