Were you sexually abused by a relative an no one believed you?

[cremebrulee]

Originally Posted by cyberphonics

This. It's unfortunate the number of people I've met and friends I have who were victims of sexual abuse as children and I can't remember any of them where the perpetrator wasn't a relative or a very close friend of the family that their family trusted to care for/be with them in their absence.

I do believe it is extremely common among family members, however, these same family member abusers are opportunists, therefore, any child will do, meaning, friends of the children who come to the house.

In my case, we know he went after other children....not family members...but family members are specifically present for them to take advantage of.

Child molesters come in all shapes and sizes....and can be anyone, including women. I know of a woman who was a 9th grade school teacher who taught a good many boys in our class about the birds and the bees.

[bewitchyou]

Recently, I have had this repressed memory make itself known to me, it's from when I was a child and my older half-sister (who is 12ish years older than me) somehow convinced me to take a shower with her, and afterwards she told me to not tell anyone. I never told because i was making a promise to her, but really I was afraid that if I did tell, that for some reason it would make that shower situation happen again, and of course being little no one would believe me.

I tried bringing it up to her years later but she talked down to me and said she had no idea what I was talking about and she refused to talk about it. She did drugs when she was a teen and she always had friends over, girls and boys. I also remember feeling uncomfortable around certain other family members as well growing up. I feel like a lot of things could of happened that I have "forgotten" because I was so young, and I also just don't want to deal with it because honestly it is something that it is something that I would never think could happen. It should not have to happen to anyone, it is something that should not happen at all. Maybe I should see a therapist about it? It has been on my mind a lot lately ever since it resurfaced and it is bothering me, like some problem you willingly choose to ignore but it does not make it go away.

[Mikelee81]

Originally Posted by MaggieZ

that's a shame... she may have mental problems because of being abused. You tend to go to a "place in your head" while it's happening, pretend it's happning to someone else or just a part of you. The brain is so complicated and it protects in a way. I doubt she's making it up. But that's my opinion because maybe I tend to stand on the side of the person that had to go through it. I guess she really needs to know who's side a person is on even more because of being doubted so much. Maybe she often doubts herself?

She also may have had nothing at all happen to her. For people that have worked with people with schizophrenia and bipolar disorders, which are becoming more and more common, they know how fragile and fickle the minds can be in people with these conditions.

It is a reality that men are falsely accused of sexual abuse also, but you won't read about that on this forum.

A women really holds all the cards in our society if they want to ruin a man. They are guilty until presumed innocent in this matter.

Men lose their careers due to false accusations, and if they are working in healthcare, a lot of time it is from people that are not mentally stable.


What real defense does a man have in a defense against such a claim?

My heart goes out to those that have suffered from this, but there is the other end of the spectrum as well that is not presented on this forum at all.

It makes men out to be in the majority sex abusers, which is not the case. Guilty until proven innocent in today's culture. One word against the other. DNA evidence can be extracted from a bathroom towel.

Men in today's society have to be careful. I dated a girl for a very brief period that had a dx of schizophrenia and the unstability forced me to end the relationship early.

There are good male nurses working with mentally disabled patients that are losing the license they spent tens of thousands of dollars and years of their professional life to obtain due to a false accusation.

Not to say the true accusations don't happen, but so do the false.

It's one reason I decided not to get into nursing. Due to the staffing constraints, you're forced into situations where you'd have procedures that required the touching of genitalia such as insertion of foley catheters. A man really needs TWO people in the room while performing these procedures.

Because all it takes is one patient that had a bad day that doesn't like you to make an accusation and you could very well not only lose your job but your license.

There are TWO SIDES to the coin.

[cremebrulee]

Originally Posted by Lindsey_Mcfarren

I do not understand how a woman can turn her back on her own children in favor of a man?

Are women really that desperate to have a man that they will serve their children up to pedophiles to keep them? Clearly these women should never have children.

There is no grey area in this issue for me.

I have been shocked over the years to hear stories of sexual abuse of children related in hushed tones, how the police were not involved because they wanted to save the face of our religion. My first reaction is to shout the word from the roof tops that this man is an abuser in order to make sure no one else is harmed but they prefer to sweep it under the carpet.

I sincerely hope no one puts me in this position but as a single Mother I am fully prepard to take someone out of this world should they do this to my daughter. Anyone who knows me, knows I sleep with a .38 in my bedside table. They know I will cap someone as soon as look at them if they harm my child. All children deserve this level of care taken with their tender lives

I hate to say this, really, Lindsey, but I would suggest to be very careful who you might trust with your daughter, and I also think its real important to have serious talks with our daughters....to alert them....

After reading this thread again, and honestly I never felt this way before and it's a shame to have to feel this way, but trusting adults with our children, might not be wise.

and I say this from experience, I saw what the sexual abuse has done to my cousins...awful mental problems.