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Old 01-01-2008, 06:25 PM
36 posts, read 91,432 times
Reputation: 44


A childhood friend of mine was abused and her parents never believed her, I did, but we were so young, and I did not know how to help her.

Fast forward to adulthood, a co-worker's daughter was abused by her step-father of 6 weeks, whom my friend promptly divorced.

Shouldn't sexual abuse be uncommon, especially in childhood?

Does anyone have any experience with it?
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Old 01-01-2008, 07:12 PM
Location: in drifts of snow wherever you go
2,493 posts, read 3,258,436 times
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It happens often and that's why parents have to keep their eyes open!
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Old 01-01-2008, 10:47 PM
Location: Sherman Oaks, CA
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As a divorced mom, I was always wary of getting involved with or marrying anyone, because that guy could have been after my daughter. More molestations occur in step-family situations, unfortunately.
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Old 01-02-2008, 03:25 PM
13,092 posts, read 13,638,718 times
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It is commonplace, and until it gets out in the open, talked about, seen, heard, and taken seriously, it continues. There are perpetrators, and there are the spouses of perpetrators who don't step in to protect the children.
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Old 01-03-2008, 12:05 AM
308 posts, read 1,472,996 times
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Originally Posted by Sally Beagle View Post
Shouldn't sexual abuse be uncommon, especially in childhood?
Should it be? Yes. Is it? Unfortunately not.

For the past year, I worked on a federally funded project that reviewed sex offenders--people would be amazed at what some cretins do to others, especially young children. 'Tis also amazing how oftentimes others knew about the offense(s) against the victims and never did anything about it and/or rationalized the behavior. Then again, what disgusts me even more is the "punishment" that some of these individuals receive in comparison to much "lighter" crimes.
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Old 01-03-2008, 12:11 AM
Location: Fort Worth, Texas
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I told my ex-husband flat out, "I would hate to have to shoot someone but I will if they touch my daughter".

We lived in Texas at the time.

I had a girlfriend in high school, her Father was a minister in the Seventh Day Adventist church. I worked as a dispatcher for the police department in town. I was working one day and the cheif of police asked me to type up a report that had been filed in its handwritten form. It turned out to be a report of my friends Father being arrested on a warrant for sexual abuse of a child out of a larger town near by.

I told my friend AND later her Mother about it. They had known he got arrested but he had lied to them about the subject. Thats when it came out that he had done this to children from his church. His wife left him and later told me she was sure he had done this to my friend, her daughter. She later tried to commit suicide.
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Old 01-03-2008, 01:04 AM
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Hmmm. I used to work in a shelter for street kids. It always amazed me how many of these kids had been abused by the "significant others" of whatever natural parent happened to have custody of them to the extent that they preferred life on the streets to living at "home".

SandyCo and GreenMachine are absolutely correct, of course, and parents really need to err on the side of caution in these things. But for whatever various reasons it is still covered up with the complicity of the parent(s) in far too many cases.

I remember a 15 year old girl who took her chances among strangers and lived in a park and in alleys and wherever she could find a warm bed rather than go back to the house that her mother lived in...she was one of my clients; the girl is dead now. She froze one night.

There should be a special place in hell for parents who allow that to happen to their offspring.
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Old 01-03-2008, 01:35 AM
Location: Portland Oregon area
145 posts, read 789,679 times
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Of course it SHOULD be uncommon, it SHOULD be non-existant! Be the sad truth is that it is very common. I believe the experts estimate the odds are one in four girls, and one in six boys are sexually abused.

I have personal experiance with this, and know of 6 other people that do also.
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Old 01-03-2008, 02:25 AM
23 posts, read 93,199 times
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the sad truth is that you probably know more people then you realize who have been abused, they just don't say anything.
I'm 1 of those, I never told my parents. Of ANYTHING that happened. I had a relative molest me, I had a family friend TRY, I had a 4th grade teacher that would call me to the back of the class during movies, he'd make me stand in front of him, put his arms around me and pretty much rub my butt on his privates.
There are VERY few people who know about this (I am almost 40 now), and I think at the time I told NO ONE, I finally told 1 of my brothers, but he also was young and didn't know what to do.
I believe if I told my parents they would have believed me, I don't know why I never did, but I sure wish I had because the same relative got to my niece. and as wrong as it is to convict someone before trial....... MY BROTHER & I NEVER DOUBTED MY NEICE.
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Old 01-03-2008, 04:50 AM
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I was, and my real mother believed me but did nothing about it. It started when I was 5....can you imagine...5 years old? It was my aunt's husband, and he abused all his girl children, all 3 of them....nothing was ever done or talked about....my mother told my aunt and my aunt banned her children from me. Shortly after....I saw my cousin's at the municiple swimming pool...I loved them and we spent much time together...they yelled out my name and started swimming towards me...my aunt yelled at them really loud, and like some crazy women...."Stay Away from Her!". I was so hurt and embarrassed that I picked up my things and went to the park and cried my eyes out.

I have been trying to raise awareness on many forums about child molestation...and here's the kicker....I posted mainly in the Christian forums and yet, believe it or not, they didn't want to discuss it...and treated me like I as some sick disease....I swear, those that call themselves Christians...only want to be so, if it's easy, and yet, the moment some candidate starts yelling, "I'm against abortion and stem cell research, they jump on board like a fly to you know what?

Yet, do they care about doing anyting for children who are abused. Who better equipped to bring awareness to this rampid issue...yet, they do Nothing about it.

There is a strip club opening up in a neighborhood uptown....there are family developments their and the families are genuinally concerned for their children...I would be to. I just cannot believe human beings....

I'm sorry, I don't mean to sound angry or bitter....it just makes me so mad that the adults of this country do not do more to protect our children. It is proven that 1% of all child molesters can be rehabilitated. Also, child molesters are repeated offenders....they don't stop at one child...and, they may tell the child, if the child tells, they will kill the child's family....

Yes, people don't want to discuss this problem out in the open....or admit it is a growning disease (pandemic) amoung Americans?????????

I commend you for starting this thread...and I encourage all of you, to not stop here, but to go out and start bringing this subject up, at work, or at a picnic or party, and see, just watch, especially the women, how they turn they're backs, or look at you like your some creature from another planet, and change the subject. Amazing?

We should realize, that all children are our children and we as adults are responsible to take care of them....

and better yet....all those kids who were abused by priests should have awakened people to the fact that not only is this a pandemic, but also, there is no man on the face of this earth, who has the right to say, your sins are forgiven...men are men, and no one, not even the pope is beyond sexual arousal...and if anyone believes that, they need to have a severe reality check. To actually place men, in the same catagory as a God.....sheesh?
The church, to me, is a haven for people who really have severe problems...and should be counseling....

and yes, you would be shocked at the number of people in this world who have mental disorders....

Thank you for this thread..I commend you....

and here is one last thing...whenever I mention, to anyone that this has happened, people reply "Oh, I'm so sorry you had to endure this". I don't want to hear those words...because the people who say that, to me, feel, after saying that, that, now they're job is done, and they can forget about it and get on with their lives...wull what about all the kids out there who are being abused every what? 10 minutes or so...

This is not an embarrassment and not shameful, and as long as people keep treating it as such, the children who are victims will continue to be scarred for life, due to the shame and guilt.

I cannot believe that not one of our candidates have yet, picked up on this subject, and/or crime in this country, and advocates that it is time, we clean up our judicial systems and make the guilty parties pay.

To this day, I have to fight to keep from hating my aunt and uncle, although, I will never be at a family gathering where they are, not that I'm afraid of them, but b/c it makes me sick to be around them. Period, and I'm still very upset with my real mother, that she never reported him to the police. But, can certainly understand why I guess...but this kind of thinking must change....big time....we are so primitive in our way of thinking, it's a shame.

I'll shut up now.....


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