Welcome to City-Data.com Forum!
U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Psychology
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 12-06-2014, 05:09 PM
 
7,357 posts, read 11,679,054 times
Reputation: 8941

Advertisements

The more out of control people feel, and the less time they spend interacting with other people, the more controlling they are going to be. Now that so much of life is spent staring at an electronic screen, the social skills are low and people are very used to instant gratification. It all lowers people's ability to share, compromise, accommodate each other.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 12-06-2014, 05:22 PM
 
4,475 posts, read 6,654,221 times
Reputation: 6635
I could also turn this around and ask Why so many people with the "I dont like being told what to do" attitude? When youre a kid your parents are going to tell you what to do and when youre an adult your boss is going to tell you what to do; get used to it.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-06-2014, 06:17 PM
 
Location: Corona the I.E.
10,137 posts, read 17,392,296 times
Reputation: 9138
Quote:
Originally Posted by pythonis View Post
I could also turn this around and ask Why so many people with the "I dont like being told what to do" attitude? When youre a kid your parents are going to tell you what to do and when youre an adult your boss is going to tell you what to do; get used to it.
I already deal with 1 control freak Pres., and both are micro managers so yeah I try to limit my time with the worst of control freaks. I can deal with most, and they can deal with me, as long as we respect each other's abilities.

I stopped working with one recently because every time this woman heard something she didn't like she got hostile, the worst control freak I have ever seen. When you tried to work on a project with her she would be breathing down your neck for updates and trying to tell you what to do. I barked back and told her I already have 2 managers don't need another. I gotta admit I felt bad for her because it was apparent she had so many issues, and talent, but she wouldn't get help.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-06-2014, 06:35 PM
 
4,475 posts, read 6,654,221 times
Reputation: 6635
Quote:
Originally Posted by Teckeeee View Post
I already deal with 1 control freak Pres., and both are micro managers so yeah I try to limit my time with the worst of control freaks. I can deal with most, and they can deal with me, as long as we respect each other's abilities.

I stopped working with one recently because every time this woman heard something she didn't like she got hostile, the worst control freak I have ever seen. When you tried to work on a project with her she would be breathing down your neck for updates and trying to tell you what to do. I barked back and told her I already have 2 managers don't need another. I gotta admit I felt bad for her because it was apparent she had so many issues, and talent, but she wouldn't get help.
Ive not had any of that happen to me. I have seen managers walk over to employees who were sitting down talking on their phone while they were supposed to be working and they (the employee) would start screaming "Why do you have to be so controlling? I dont like being told what to do! I'll get all that stuff done later; this is important!"
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-06-2014, 06:40 PM
 
Location: City Data Land
17,156 posts, read 12,857,051 times
Reputation: 33164
Quote:
Originally Posted by Teckeeee View Post
Most of the smart, high IQ people I know are all control freaks.
I hear this term "control freak" often. What is that, exactly? Everyone I have ever known wants things their way, and is happiest when they get things their way. People don't like to compromise if they don't have to. If you want a dog, your partner wants a cat, and you end up with a dog, wouldn't you be happier than if you get stuck with the cat you really don't want? At what point does wanting things to be done the way you like become control freakish?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-06-2014, 06:47 PM
 
Location: Corona the I.E.
10,137 posts, read 17,392,296 times
Reputation: 9138
Quote:
Originally Posted by Scooby Snacks View Post
I hear this term "control freak" often. What is that, exactly? Everyone I have ever known wants things their way, and is happiest when they get things their way. People don't like to compromise if they don't have to. If you want a dog, your partner wants a cat, and you end up with a dog, wouldn't you be happier than if you get stuck with the cat you really don't want? At what point does wanting things to be done the way you like become control freakish?
Great post Agreed. That's what I meant when I said when there is mutual respect between " 2 ppl that like things done their own way" it can work, if there is some level of trust between the 2.

Every successful person I know is controlling, and egotistical. I am sure someone will find some statistical anomaly to post.

Steve Jobs comes to mind.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-06-2014, 06:57 PM
 
Location: Fiorina "Fury" 161
3,492 posts, read 3,700,335 times
Reputation: 6536
Quote:
Originally Posted by Teckeeee View Post
I already deal with 1 control freak Pres., and both are micro managers so yeah I try to limit my time with the worst of control freaks. I can deal with most, and they can deal with me, as long as we respect each other's abilities.

I stopped working with one recently because every time this woman heard something she didn't like she got hostile, the worst control freak I have ever seen. When you tried to work on a project with her she would be breathing down your neck for updates and trying to tell you what to do. I barked back and told her I already have 2 managers don't need another. I gotta admit I felt bad for her because it was apparent she had so many issues, and talent, but she wouldn't get help.
I'm dealing with a similar situation right now, unfortunately. Another employee took a position that my company has been trying to get me to take for a good while now. I had an inkling they might go with this person. The one person you don't want to take it. So, do you take the position anyway just to prevent problems you know will occur with this type of personality? The position didn't fit my personal life, so I passed. Luckily for me it is somewhat easy to move around in my company, although it's still an inconvenience to have to do that just to get away from this type of personality. At worst, I would have to find a new job, as one of my main requirements is I will not work in a toxic environment. Been a bit lucky so far in that regard, but it will either get better or worse as this person becomes more comfortable in the new role.

I know the OP may have intended his/her post more toward personal relationships, but those are easier to work with in my opinion.

Edited to add: I think the why is also that it is programmed in nature to control ones environment for survival purposes and protection. I guess it is to help keep the pack/heard together, although modern life requires less of that control in the primal sense of it.

Last edited by Free-R; 12-06-2014 at 07:21 PM..
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-06-2014, 07:32 PM
 
Location: SW
97 posts, read 125,320 times
Reputation: 58
It's because of Edward Bernays, a pioneer in public relations and propaganda.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-06-2014, 09:23 PM
 
13,754 posts, read 13,190,784 times
Reputation: 26019
I was going to suggest it's a symptom of a self-centered person, never being able to put anyone else before themselves.

Now that you mention Borderline Personality Disorder, I have (unfortunate) first hand experience with one of those and, yep, that's probably closer to the truth. That's so much more prevalent these days. And they can't STAND it when things don't go their way.

My other half has a touch of it, his daughter is a full blown terror. I just let him have his way: pizza toppings, movie rentals, whatever. It only really bugs me occasionally. (I try to never be in the same vicinity as girl-zilla.)
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-07-2014, 11:31 AM
 
Location: Chicago area
18,748 posts, read 11,709,989 times
Reputation: 64054
Quote:
Originally Posted by Raena77 View Post
I find many control freaks are bossy insecure beings.Or impatient with others and won't tolerate flaws.


I'll agree with the "impatient and won't tolerate flaws," but some of us are quite nice as well. I've been labeled gifted and when you deal with the idiot factor that's so prevalent out there it's very frustrating. I think the "bossy" part comes out when you're trying to explain something to someone that just doesn't get it. Sometimes it's just easier to tell them what to do then how to do it? I have to agree that there are some people that are arrogant and rude about it. They're the ones that haven't learned how to control the frustration. Which isn't easy sometimes.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:


Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Psychology

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2024, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top