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I think you may be right about the influence TV has on their behavior. I very much limit the amount of electronics my daughter is allowed to use and I monitor what she watches and what cites she goes to online. So many of the kids she goes to school with have fresh mouths. I've heard children in 1st and 2nd grade cursing at their teachers and parents. I've heard teens and preteens make violent threats towards other kids and adults. I'm not sure if it's just the area I'm in but I know children never acted like this when I was younger.
It is the lack of parenting that these kids in school are displaying. They are not taught or shown by example how to behave properly.
Location: Scott County, Tennessee/by way of Detroit
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I think some of it has to do with the way they let these kids walk all over them...I used to be friends with a neighbor and her one 10 yr old would ALWAYS interject into OUR conversation..of course something her mom told her at some other time that she should have not been privy to...she would hang back and listen to us talk..instead of going outside..I hated that...One day my friend was giving me these muffins she bought at a school bake sale and the little girl runs up and says' DON'T GIVE HER THOSE...' I was shocked and the mother just looked at me like...WELL.....
Another girl I know has trouble with her kid because she is SO OVERBEARING and suffocating..I think she knows whatever he eats all day long... she talks to him constantly about diabetes and weight gain and sort of acts like he is an adult.. and talks about other things that kids shouldn't really have to concern themselves with at 7 years old...She has so many problems with him at school...and it is always the teachers fault...he never gets punished ever....he is smarter than any kid his age, she thinks...wait till he is 14....He is all she ever talks about..yet she is so stressed out by the way he acts in school..she has NO control yet she controls his every move...I saw him once fill up a squirt gun with homemade lemonade that was in this huge container at his birthday party and squirt it at a baby that was sitting in a high chair and got him right in the eyes....he got a little "don't do that" from her..as she looked away...and he moved on to the 80 yr lady who was his next lemonade in the eyes squirt gun target in a porch chair... It was terrible... And the funny thing is she comments about OTHER parents.....it is just unreal... You cannot say anything to her either I have tried and it didn't work...I know nothing....compared to her being a font of kid knowledge....
I have noticed recently that more and more children are getting smart mouths and talking like they're adults. Telling their parents what to do, telling others that they will "punch them in the face" if they don't get their way. And talking back to parents and teachers in rude ways. Have you encountered children like this? What's your opinion? How would you address it if it were your child? I'm curious what people have to say about this.
What do you mean, "teens who act like adults", "talking like they're adults"? Do you know any adults who talk/act like that? I don't. They're acting like mouthy teens who didn't see much discipline from their parents when they were younger. Adults don't talk like that.
I have noticed recently that more and more children are getting smart mouths and talking like they're adults. Telling their parents what to do, telling others that they will "punch them in the face" if they don't get their way. And talking back to parents and teachers in rude ways. Have you encountered children like this? What's your opinion? How would you address it if it were your child? I'm curious what people have to say about this.
I haven't encountered kids who do what you describe, except for the bolded. I've observed a number of parents in the Boomer generation (about 20 years ago) allowing their small children to boss them around, even in some cases, addressing the parent by his/her first name, and issuing commands. The parent then typically scurries around to meet the child's demand, or sheepishly says he's busy at the moment, but he'll attend to it in a minute, as if he's the child, and has to justify any delay in responding to the child's demands. It's REALLY strange, and it seems like something unique to a certain age cohort of that generation. I can only guess that such subservient behavior on the part of the parents must have something to do with a reaction against the way they were raised, themselves.
I think a lot of American parents are lost when it comes to parenting. Over generations, it's been like wild pendulum swings back and forth and around, in rebellion to the way each generation was raised. Things were very strict coming out of the Victorian era, when children were supposed to be "seen, and not heard" (and not touched), and infants weren't supposed to be picked up when they cried, they were supposed to be left to cry. From there, the kids who came of age in the 60's tended to be permissive parents, because their own were controlling and authoritarian. And the next generation after that became subservient to their kids, and believed their kids should be catered to, hence the subservience. Now we have helicopter parenting, which may be a reaction to neglectful parenting, I'm not sure.
If you look at parenting in the developing world, there are no extreme divergences from one generation to the next, in parenting styles, as if each generation is re-inventing parenting according to their own whim or their collective childhood trauma. People raise their kids pretty much the way they were raised, and usually that involves keeping babies and toddlers close by, if not cradled to the mom's back as she works, which builds intimacy. They're raised helping the parents with small tasks, according to their ability. They get guidance, are lead by example, and generally get lots of hugs. They grow up with a sense of love and belonging, rather than a sense of estrangement, as could be the case with kids raised in the "seen and not heard" generation, or those raised with narcissistic parents.
If kids nowadays are mouthing off to adults, it sounds like either their parents were too passive when raising them, or abandoned them emotionally. My guess is that these aren't the kids of helicopter parents, but who knows? More study needs to be done on parenting styles and their consequences in our society.
I agree, the original post is not talking about kids who "act like adults" but "kids who act disrespectfully toward adults."
I know people who allow their kids to talk back, curse, insult adults, call adults by the first name, crack rude jokes at adults, and their justification is usually something like "I choose my battles." They seem to be saying that if that's the only bad thing their kid does, they're okay with it, because the kid is not doing drugs or committing crimes.
But I tend to think that the parent's role is not to just produce a kid that grows up to not commit crimes or take drugs, but one that has respect for authority and for others in general, so that he/she can function in adult life, which is full of rules and situations in which we have to demonstrate respect.
I actually know parents who say they teach their kid that no one automatically gets their respect, that people need to "earn it." So a bunch of kids are now walking around behaving disrespectfully toward adults and saying that the adult has not "earned" their respect. I also hear this from my teacher friends who deal with it every day. When I was in high school in the 80s, if someone cursed at a teacher, it would be such a big deal that the whole school would be talking about it by the next day. Now it is an everyday occurrence in some schools.
Today in the workplace, I am dealing with 20-somethings who talk back to supervisors, question their decisions publicly, ask "why" when they are instructed to do something, and otherwise have no respect for authority or rules. Some of them were raised with a parenting philosophy that said that you should never tell a kid what to do, but give him a choice, so he can choose which thing to do, and feel empowered. Well, as young adults, a lot of them are way too "empowered." They reject being assigned a task from a supervisor and say that they want to be given a choice. I'm like, "your choice is follow directions, or don't work here." People think the millennial generation is bad, I think they will all be shocked when today's pre-teens enter the workforce!
I don't know if the parents who let their kids and teens get away with this stuff know how it will impair them when they become adults. "But at least they're not committing crimes or doing drugs."
Today in the workplace, I am dealing with 20-somethings who talk back to supervisors, question their decisions publicly, ask "why" when they are instructed to do something, and otherwise have no respect for authority or rules. Some of them were raised with a parenting philosophy that said that you should never tell a kid what to do, but give him a choice, so he can choose which thing to do, and feel empowered. Well, as young adults, a lot of them are way too "empowered." They reject being assigned a task from a supervisor and say that they want to be given a choice. I'm like, "your choice is follow directions, or don't work here." People think the millennial generation is bad, I think they will all be shocked when today's pre-teens enter the workforce!
I don't know if the parents who let their kids and teens get away with this stuff know how it will impair them when they become adults. "But at least they're not committing crimes or doing drugs."
Glad you posted this. I was wondering how those kids would do in the workplace. Why are they tolerated at work? They need to learn a long-overdue lesson. And where the H did a crazy parenting philosophy like that come from? And what if the kid chooses the wrong thing to do? You just allow it, instead of risking "disempowering" the kid by showing him the better choice? WTH??!
I have noticed recently that more and more children are getting smart mouths and talking like they're adults. Telling their parents what to do, telling others that they will "punch them in the face" if they don't get their way. And talking back to parents and teachers in rude ways. Have you encountered children like this? What's your opinion? How would you address it if it were your child? I'm curious what people have to say about this.
In some cases, parents aren't equipped to deal with generations beyond their own, stuck in the past if you will. Plus, the legal system has changed discipline.
My parents were brought up with a belt as discipline. I was brought up with spanking. Now if you look at your child wrong DSS may come a calling.
I have noticed recently that more and more children are getting smart mouths and talking like they're adults. Telling their parents what to do, telling others that they will "punch them in the face" if they don't get their way. And talking back to parents and teachers in rude ways. Have you encountered children like this? What's your opinion? How would you address it if it were your child? I'm curious what people have to say about this.
I told you not to post in the psychology forum, old man.
Our friends daughter is like that......in fact I do not like to be around her...her parents always take her and her older sister who is a nice girl on the yearly cruises that we go on together and she is whiny and mouthy....we already booked one again with them for two months from now but I think it is going to be our last...we went to an overnight camping party at their marina this past summer and my husband was on their docked boat with her parents..she was sitting around the bonfire with the rest of us ...this girl stands in the middle of the everyone at the bonfire and says 'Who here thinks that ________ is going to get drunk here tonight?" No one answered her...she was talking about my husband...now we saw this girl maybe THREE times a year...at most...shes like 11...when I was younger my father as a member of the local Knights of Columbus and we literally grew up there with constant drinking and parties and my parents drunken friends...IF WE EVER would have called out a certain friend of my dads for whatever reason, we would have gotten big time punished....my husband has NEVER made a drunken scene...on cruises we barely drink because its pretty expensive... so I have no idea why she felt the need to announce that and it really made me mad...I told my husband a while later and of course he mentions it to his buddy that his daughter said that the next time he saw him and now the wife is really cold towards me....whatever..like she's mad at me.... dread seeing that little brat in a few months....
Why are you wasting your holidays and money going on a cruise with these people who sound obnoxious? So you have to listen to that brat and the wife is pissed at you? If I were you, I'd cancell the trip and book a cruise on your own or with other friends that are fun to be around. If you can't get other friends to go, I know you meet nice people on cruises, so go with just your family and have a good time meeting new friends.
I don't know about YOUR cruise line but we have a cruise booked and can cancel it right up until 75 days or more with a full refund. If you cancel 28-15 days before the cruise you get 75% total fare refund. (LOOK INTO IT on your cruise confirmation, if you aren't sure what the cancellation policy is for your cruise line)
By the way, some cruises offer free drink packages now, like we have with Celebrity.
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