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I cannot recall the exact circumstances, but it was when I was married. My husband was spiraling downward, throwing our marriage and family away for alcohol, drugs, and gambling. I came to a point where I was becoming so enraged that I realized I was capable of killing him, that I WANTED to kill him. It was frightening to know I had that within me.
I can identify with your response...
The angriest I have ever gotten is the time when my ex-husband said something so insulting, demeaning and stupid in mediation that I absolutely "snapped". I jumped out of my chair, kicked it backwards and lunged for my ex, wrapping both hands tightly around his throat while simultaneously screaming loud obscenities within 1 1/2" from his face. It wasn't until I heard my ex choking and saw the horrified look on the mediators face that I actually realized what I was doing. Once I did, I let go of his throat, quietly apologized for losing control and sat back down. Clearly, we had unresolved issues....
Thankfully, nobody pressed charges or called for a security intervention. But, I did learn a valuable lesson: It taught me that I should never, EVER allow anyone to ever again push my buttons so hard that I responded with violence. I discovered in that moment, that I was actually capable of doing things far worse than just choking someone...shudder. Not one of my proudest moments.
That was back in 1991 and we haven't spoken since. Probably better that way...
The angriest I have ever gotten is the time when my ex-husband said something so insulting, demeaning and stupid in mediation that I absolutely "snapped". I jumped out of my chair, kicked it backwards and lunged for my ex, wrapping both hands tightly around his throat while simultaneously screaming loud obscenities within 1 1/2" from his face. It wasn't until I heard my ex choking and saw the horrified look on the mediators face that I actually realized what I was doing. Once I did, I let go of his throat, quietly apologized for losing control and sat back down. Clearly, we had unresolved issues....
Thankfully, nobody pressed charges or called for a security intervention. But, I did learn a valuable lesson: It taught me that I should never, EVER allow anyone to ever again push my buttons so hard that I responded with violence. I discovered in that moment, that I was actually capable of doing things far worse than just choking someone...shudder. Not one of my proudest moments.
That was back in 1991 and we haven't spoken since. Probably better that way...
RVcook
wouldn't it have been funny if in your rage you became blinded by hate and had actually been choking a potted plant instead?
I used to have a very short fuse. Now, many decades later, I know why that was: I was miserable, unhappy, and very scared (married to an abuser). I learned that most anger stems from fear, and now that I have a peaceful home environment, there's no longer anger in me.
The next event, involving my same best friend, is something that sitcoms are made of.
We were leaving a Vegas hotel ready to come home.
We had brought a gallon of water that we kept behind the driver's seat in case we got thirsty, or stuck on the road in the heat.
As we pulled out from the hotel. I realized I was very thirsty.
I told him I was going to pull over for some water.
I became very angry when he told me that he had thrown the water away.
I bellowed "WHY DID YOU THROW IT AWAY'?" He said because it had gotten warm.
I was absolutely livid. because my moron of a friend threw away water that was perfectly good. I now desperately drove around Vegas wondering where the heck I could park to find water The roads were jammed with traffic and there was no readily available parking.
i was so mad I almost got into two accidents in my desperate attempt for water, including getting nearly hit by an 18 wheeler.
I gave up while profusely thirsty, and decided we would stop for water at the next store out of town.
What happened next almost had me throwing a fit.
When we finally stopped off the freeway for water , I looked behind the driver's seat,, and what do I see, THE HALF GALLON OF WATER!
With extreme rage I asked " Why did you tell me you threw out the water?"
He told me that the water he threw away was a few ounces left in a small open bottle in the front seat.
In a combination of highly aggravating but comical irony, we were talking about two different water sources.
He threw out a few old open ounces. I thought he threw out a fresh gallon.
This is something a sitcom writer could probably not come up with. But it actually happened. and we were lucky to avoid dangerous consequences due to my driving with extreme anger and thirst.
Most angry? My son with Down syndrome was supposed to be at school when he was 15 years old. The staff was negligent and he ended up down 3 flights of steps, walking 1 1/2 miles of which 1 mile was train tracks with a trestle bridge - all of this spotted by individuals along the route and called in by an off duty home care provider. When I went to the school to withdraw him, they told me (one being directly responsible for his "escape") that they didn't agree with my decision. I said a couple of things and slammed the big heavy metal door when I left. It rocked the entire floor of the school and there was a lot of wide-eyed students as I was going down the hall. I never liked school when I was younger and liked it a lot less when the kids were there!!!
I don't throw temper tantrums over everyday happenings. Life is too short to sweat the small stuff and it isn't good for your health either.
When my ex wife accused me of physically hurting her son (my step son at the time). I've always been a laid back hippie type, but that woman made a side come out of me I didn't know was there. I divorced her and she really lost it so it felt good to see her crumble. I hope she's having a bad life now.
When my ex wife accused me of physically hurting her son (my step son at the time). I've always been a laid back hippie type, but that woman made a side come out of me I didn't know was there. I divorced her and she really lost it so it felt good to see her crumble. I hope she's having a bad life now.
That's exactly how I felt when I snapped! The only difference for me is that afterward I wished that my ex would find whatever he was looking for because I (clearly couldn't give it to him) and because I firmly believe everyone should get what they want in life.
Trust me, he got what he wanted...and a whole lot more. And for us 'hippie types' my Karma is clean .
I've always had a bad temper but whenever my hormones get out of balance I become a raging monster. I have small scars on my knuckles where I've punched things. What's bad is when all the little things collect and stew for a couple of weeks. All it takes is one little thing to light that fuse. It's a problem.
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